The problem is now that you risk living in a tent in a park, or in your 50s with roommates in a sketchy rooming house. It's not just "poor" anymore, it's that divorce can mean homelessness.
I don't think people realize how badly out of control the housing market is. In much of the country, it's not a matter of not being able to buy a home, it's not even being able to rent one.
In the area where I live I can count four or five young couples and/or single parents who are raising kids in rooming houses. Other than one spectacular instance of substance abuse, they're not "bad people", and ten years ago they'd at least have been able to rent a space of their own to raise their kids, while thirty years ago they'd have been able to buy a starter home. Now? Now they're raising children in rooming houses.
That's not a good thing, but hey, at least landlords are doing well and Galen Weston's making more money this year than last.
I got divorced in the 2010s and it kicked me out of the housing market. I'd be five years from paying off my home now, but had to sell it as part of the separation. We bought it for $210K in 2009, sold for $225k in 2011. It flipped during the pandemic for $900k, as an "investment opportunity for GTA-area landlords looking for rental income"
That's hard to watch, not just the money, but also seeing the trees I planted with my then-young kids cut down because the landlord needed another parking spot.
Since then, I've watched house prices accelerate away from me, so much so that I decided to just give up and bank everything into education savings for my kids in hopes that I'll have a couch to sleep on in my old age. Even now that's looking unlikely.
My now-spouse had it worse: when she divorced, she got to keep half of her then-husband's previously-secret and significant debts, which more than wiped out any equity she had, putting her tens of thousands of dollars into the red. He, of course, got his debt halved.
I don't doubt for a second the stats that tout rising domestic abuse rates since people become house-locked. I got divorced when rent was at least reasonable where I live. Now? Now the choice is between "a miserable, if not right dangerous, marriage" and "sleeping in a tent in a public park".
I've been with my partner for 8 years now. We've owned a home together for 5. She and her ex have yet to get divorced. There's been no meaningful impetus to drive them to do it: It doesn't change their relationship any further, it doesn't change her relationship with me at all, yet it costs a couple thousand bucks.
Why spend that on lawyers when you could spend it on car repairs, home upgrades, a plethora of takeout meals, or a vacation?
Both ways. He should live it up for a couple of years. Make sure to use her line of credit and credit cards. His wife’s ex-husband will have to pay half when they finally divorce. Buy a car in her name, sell it, and use the proceeds to buy a car in your name. The possibilities are endless.
[I am not advocating this obviously. Mostly I am agreeing how super dangerous this is.]
Marriage has all kinds of default legal implications ranging from property ownership to inheritance and tax benefits, and may also affect insurance rates.
How you are affected depends on where you live and your personal situation.
Frankly, a blanket statement like this is completely irresponsible. Consult a lawyer on these matters, people. Or spend tens of thousands of dollars later in life dealing with the consequences of ignoring your legal rights and responsibilities.
Cost is likely 90% of the reason. Make divorce free with nobody having to give up anything they own, and without any other support payment, and I guarantee the rates would skyrocket to at least 75% of all married couples. LOL
A dear friend divorced his adulterous wife. Finally.
Laws here are weird, and they can be biased. Because he then met and married a very successful woman, his ex was able to get a new support agreement for her and their grown(!) kids that ensured they were kept "to a level commensurate with his current status" that had him donating the entirety of his pay toward support because his new spouse made more and his old spouse wasnt reporting income (cash only, sob story).
To be clear: grown kids, spouse met and married long after the first divorce and settlement, lawyer and judge combo awarded her a new settlement that left him with no income and entirely dependent on his new spouse.
How grown are these grown kids? Are they in school or dependent for some other reason?
That is how I could see this happening. Courts believe that your kids are entitled to your income. The ex should not have that same right. Of course, who do the child support payments go to? That’s right…the ex.
Yup. I have it relatively easy. Our relationship is cordial on the surface. We have a house in Toronto that will be paid off this year. We're financially doing well. And we have a wonderful boy we're raising together.
I'm miserable though. She has a short temper. Our interactions are filled with micro aggressions. We haven't so much as kissed in years. I would love nothing more than to leave and just live in peace for a while.
I can't. Homes go for over 2 mil in my neighborhood, rents are about 4k for a 2 bedroom. Unless I want to abandon my son and move far away. I simply cannot afford to live where we live right now.
Instead I'm in therapy trying to develop strategies to cope.
Before anybody chimes in: I do all of the house work, groceries, cooking, cleaning and laundry. The only thing I don't do is fold her laundry as she doesn't like the way I do it, which she complains to me about. I also pay the majority of the bills and child care and then again, I get flak for not saving enough money compared to her.
This question implies that she was always like this. She wasn't. In retrospect, I should have noticed the signs after we got married. But I didn't didn't until after we had our kid.