A “Tradwife” Discovers the Anti-Feminist Lifestyle Is Miserable and Oppressive
A horrendous alt-right influencer who encouraged “traditional” gender roles realized that practicing what she preached made her feel enslaved.
This shit is so mental, I don't know where they get these weird ass ideas about traditional wives. If you're old enough, you will have had grandparents that lived through most the 20th century, including the mythical 1950s these loons are so fixated on. My grandparents on my dad's side where "traditional" in that my grandfather was the bread-winner and my grandmother was the stay at home wife. She wasn't a feminist by any stretch. Do you know who was in charge? It wasn't the one wearing the pants. They stayed together until my grandfather died.
On my mom's side of the family, that grandfather was an abusive drunk and they eventually got divorced. Being an abusive fuck head has nothing to do with "proper" traditional families. Have they ever seen a healthy relationship? These people are living in a delusion.
Hell yeah! On both sides of my Irish family, Grandma would kick Grandpa's ass, and while I didn't know one of my Grandfathers well enough at all, I know for sure my other grandparents loved each other very much. They were adorable together even in old age.
"We need to return to a time when women had no agency, no real personhood, were essentially slaves in their homes, treated as property, and bore literally all the work of the home and family."
...
"Wow, this is oppressive."
These people have no thought that the situation women were in 50+ years ago was forced. They didn't have a choice. They couldn't even open a bank account on their own. But want to paint that time as some sort of heyday that we need to return to.
Further, I'm convinced that the tradwife movement isn't in any way genuine, that it's entirely white supremacist, patriarchal propaganda. Maybe there's a handful out there that genuinely want this. But otherwise I think it's entirely a pushback against modernity, and bigots and white cishet men trying to claw back their cultural hegemony.
This has always been my concern with the tradwife movement. I can certainly see why there would be appeal but you need to be very cautious of who you want to be a tradwife to. You create a lot of dependence on your partner, You sacrifice a lot of power, and once you start doing this it becomes increasingly difficult taking it back.
Even with the perfect partner to be a tradwife to. You don't remove the problems with dependence. You can argue that "well I have full faith my partner and I will stay together" but at any point it can all get taken away.
With two partners a single layoff sucks, but you can stay afloat much better than two layoffs. It's like a two engine and a single engine plane. A two engine has redundancy, it can limp. Single engine becomes a glider after failure.
Speaking of failure, doesn't matter how angelic your partner is, heart failure will kill them and wreck your life too. Then you have life insurance but no resume or job experience. Hope you saved.
It's genuinely kind of infuriating, because start mixing in handywork, house repair, landscaping, childcare, cooking, cleaning, organizing, with the recently added 3dprinting, searching online for 2nd hand goods, volunteering within your community, a LOT of value should be getting generated... but none of it gets recorded... or removes your dependency on your partner.
I can certainly see why there would be appeal but you need to be very cautious of who you want to be a tradwife to. You create a lot of dependence on your partner, You sacrifice a lot of power, and once you start doing this it becomes increasingly difficult taking it back.
Hear hear.
I've seen so many older couples where the woman was 100% dependent on the man. He never allowed her to manage finances, have access to the bank accounts, pay bills, etc. and then after 30-40 years he leaves or dies, and then she's left without any life experience whatsoever and has no idea how to manage her own life.
Or, he's abusive, shitty, and terrible, but since she has no agency of her own or any idea of how to have that agency, she's trapped and can't even conceive of the idea of leaving him.
It's a horrifying experience.
I’ve seen so many older couples where the woman was 100% dependent on the man. He never allowed her to manage finances, have access to the bank accounts, pay bills, etc. and then after 30-40 years he leaves or dies, and then she’s left without any life experience whatsoever and has no idea how to manage her own life.
That's the part that really kills it for me. Even if you have the absolute perfect couple, its got glaring flaws. It increases risk for higher... comfort? Because in high risk high reward, if it pays off you are more stable than you started. That doesn't happen with a tradwife couple. You constantly have a higher risk, but a nicer house, a warmer family, better food, more involved community. (Again, I'm assuming the absolute perfect couple. I'm not even considering the power dynamics.) Which... it's bizarre because that all should be worth it but... it topples so much easier. Even in the best case.
Like... this seems straight up like a flaw in society.
It also doesn’t help that this is a self-selecting group. I know I wouldn’t trust anyone who says this what they want in a partner, as the venn diagram between partners who want this and those who treat their partners poorly has more than a little overlap. Like cops and domestic abuse.
Exactly.
"I want a woman who is submissive, and respects 'traditional' gender roles"
No, you want a servant you can fuck, and then get violent with if she ever refuses to comply.
These people don't want partners or relationships. They want power fantasies.
"I don't have to worry about my financials or working a job, and all I have to do is marry a horrible man and accept the possibility of spousal rape", said the woman who doesn't yet understand how bad rape is.
She will find out that she can't buy anything she wants when she can't even consent.
I have two main thoughts on this first is that most of the people really into this are just in denial about their sexual submissive tendencies. They want to be dominated in bed and / or bossed around since it turns them on. They don't want to admit this since that would be against what "good girls want" so they decide its easier to adopt this crazy ideology instead. This of course backfires since the only men who are interested in this are abuses assholes. Everyone else would self select out and would rather have their spouse be equal outside the bedroom. So of course they are miserable since only assholes would sign up for this. A feminist man would happily dominate her as an equal. Its about power over vs power with.
It is dangerous to speculate on other folk's sexuality/kinks. That is how you get outside the realm of consent. Instead, go on what we know. We know conservative Christians extol the tradwife vales and there are books that have been written about this very subject for decades.
I know I am just guessing about it being about kink but it feels that way based on how people interact with it. The Trad Wife influencers has too much sexualized content currently to be about biblical values.
I mean, it's possible to have a happy, healthy, 24/7 D/s relationship. Not that you're wrong about the rest of it; the people who get into the tradwife thing think "consent" is a dirty word.
Exactly its all about consent. There is nothing wrong with 24/7 D/s relationships but they are really uncommon. Most people who fantasize about them don't even want them. Its Olympic level stuff so you got to be on the top of your game in every aspect. Not for everone
The original article is better
Probably, but unsurprisingly the far-right influencer went to a right-wing mouthpiece media outlet to tell her story. OP probably doesn't want to drive traffic and advertising revenue to them.