"I know that social cues are hard for you and you are trying your best and I can't expect you to get it right on the first try, but I will shame you when you do and react like you didn't even try or did it on purpose."
This is why I can't do online left wing spaces any more. They talk the talk about ableism, but then its "why can't you boycott the only food you can eat, just eat something else", "you could talk to service workers if you wanted to, you just think you're better than them".
Then sharing a video of people with their fingers in their ears at a black music festival with a caption calling them racists, when they're clearly autistic people enjoying the festival but having sensory problems.
I blame the popular understanding/misunderstanding of neurodiversity. People think autism is just a personality type.
I've ulcerative colitis and it's flared up. Medical advice is no to low fibre, no veg unless it's boiled soft like a mush, no garlic, no onions, no mushrooms, no red meat, no sweet corn. I can only eat white meat, fish, white rice, potatoes like mash, white breads like a loaf, bagels and brioche. I'm not being a picky eater, I literally can't eat some things because they'll fuck with my gut and make my disease worse. Fuck inconsiderate people.
... this just reignited my desire for a boyfriend, but like, one that's also autistic, so he fucking gets me. We'll have lunch in perfectly comfortable silence at a busy diner and judge people that talk too loud in public. It'll be great!
Don’t mistake someone trying to encourage positive behavior as bully. Just because you have one of these behaviors doesn’t mean you correctly self-diagnosed yourself with autism either
Whoever considers picky eating a problem can take it up with me, my friend is one, which simply means I get to eat the stuff she doesn't want to, and she can order something she might not like, knowing I will eat it anyways. It's a win win
As someone with OCD but without ASD, I can understand a bit of this. But a helpful tip is not to bastardize something people are enjoying that you, yourself would have an issue with as a way to rationalize your dislike.
For instance...
If you have an issue with a certain type of food, don't make fun of it while people are eating it and they won't feel attacked and respond in the like. (it'll just become a tit-for-tat and devolve)
Instead of saying "Eww... I'm not eating mushrooms, they're a fungus and they're gross and they feed off rotten things." Just give a bit of obfuscated truth and say something like, "No matter how many times I've tried, my mind just won't let me do this or eat that." No need to explain any further as many people can have issues with different things, so there'd be no need to give your diagnosis.
Taking each of those symptoms in isolation, how would someone know that person is autistic? Pretty sure the sentiment behind the "I would never bully someone for being autistic" statement is that if they knew the behavior is caused by a condition then they wouldn't bully that person. The difference being that it would then be assumed the behavior is due to something out of their control.
You could take the absolutist position of "don't bully anyone for any reason" but how absolute is that position? Is it not okay to call a politician an idiot or an asshole for doing something you don't like? What if they have a condition that makes them behave in a way that you call idiotic or assholeish? A child refusing to even try to eat something their parent worked so hard to make could be considered assholeish behavior, are we to assume it's because they have autism and thus never call them out on it?
My ex kept the relationship going for an extra month to find any reason to break up that wasn't a sign of autism, because all the reasons she felt were issues were autistic behaviors.
I recently had someone acting high and mighty with me pretending I was a bigot in literally every way to try to win an argument about joking about wealthy people being lizards. They rounded it off by saying I was using big words to bully her because she was a woman. I had no idea she was a woman, and frankly I don't care because she's clearly dishonest and ableist AF.
Not to defend the insulting but most people don't realise that the person is autistic. Autism has different spectrum and some of the symptoms are very subtle for the untrained. I have a family member who is diagnosed with autism late in life, which explains a lot when we were growing up.
Does anyone have that image of the fucked up fork meme that was going around a few days ago?. I hated that one and was telling about it but couldn't find it.
That's the equivalent to the "colorblind" approach
Edit: since this is downvoted, I mean colorblind in a negative way. If you are "colorblind", you're basically ignoring racism which is better then being actively racist, but not anti racist either. You can't act against racism if you don't see it and you can't reflect your internalized racists either. "I'm not a racist, I just don't like the way you talk and act. Nothing to do with the color of your skin."
I’m never going to diagnose a friend or family member with an illness or disability. Until they say something, they’re just a picky eater or fidgety and I will bully them relentlessly for their minor character defect, as is tradition. Communicate in a way that works, written or verbally, or it’s fair game.
Came here from All and didn’t notice the community, sorry about that.