I want to live in a world where no one feels they are struggling so much that they need to turn to selling their body for sex.
However, I don't live in that world, so in the meantime I support sex workers, because sex work is work.
The men who use their services? That's a tougher nut to crack.
My partners brother is heavily mentally disabled and pushing 40, he's still very much like a child, but obviously does not have a child's libido. This man has never had an intimate interaction with a woman. He might never get the chance, he struggles to talk to women, even women who have similar issues as himself. I think sex workers could be beneficial for him, in the right context, for giving him intimacy he may otherwise never experience. I don't think he would ever think/know to pursue a sex worker, but I could be wrong. There's also the issue of his emotions began to be involved, which leads me to...
I'd be more worried about him finding OnlyFans and blowing through all his disability money each month instead of realizing he's not actually getting much out of such a "relationship." He's the kind of person who a parasocial relationship like that could really damage their already troubling mental health. The same thing could happen with a prostitute, but they are less likely to hang the relationships on fake social cues that say they care about you. He's not quite advanced enough to understand that these women are being paid to pretend to care, I don't think.
Also, there's other types of men who use these services I'm sure aren't a net positive. There are plenty of conservative men who already view a standard relationship as a sexual transaction (I take care of girl = she give me sex), so they're not far from viewing everything women with transactional already. Secondly, not only do the already view it as transactional, many of these conservative men turn to prostitutes because average women simply don't want to date them because of their horrible, outdated views on women's bodily autonomy. They are already angsty and moody because of women not wanting to date them, and they often are willing to take out their frustrations on the woman they paid to serve them. I see these men as not respecting and hurting the women they turn to for sex work.
Anyway, just some quick thoughts on the subject.
I have very mixed feelings.
On the one hand, I don't think that there's anything inherently immoral about sex work.
On the other hand, a large amount of sex work is not voluntary and consensual.
There are a few sites where (legitimate) sex workers can advertise. Prices vary considerably, but you'll typically see prices starting at $400+ for "full service". They typically have specific limits laid out, what things they do and don't do, and usually require some kind of screening for their own safety. If you go to sites where clients can review sex workers, you can find listings for $50-$100 for full-service sex work with "new girls", frequently Asian. These women--most of the people exchanging sex for money are women---in those listings do not screen clients, do not have pre-stated limits, frequently do not require the use of barriers, and always work for an "agency". It is clear to me that these are not women that are doing sex work consensually. People that frequent these sex workers are complicit in their abuse. (Willing sex workers can and do work through agencies; that makes their client screening less onerous for them. But they still have clear limits, and not rock-bottom prices.)
Given how many women, esp. at the lower end of the pricing spectrum, aren't doing sex work consensually, I would not have a good opinion of a person that chooses to use them. I could not accept someone that knew that they were trafficked and didn't care, or chose to ignore the probability that they were doing sex work involuntarily.
I would have no opinion either way about someone that chooses to use a professional domme; that, at least, is a segment of the market that's unlikely to involved trafficked victims.
If the sex worker is consenting without duress and is being treated well (I recognize that's a big 'if') then I'm fine with it. I have no inherent objections to sex work itself so it would feel like a double standard to judge the people who use it.
Unfortunately the moral waters are muddied by the rampant trafficking, drug abuse, etc. within the industry.
I don't see why it's any of my business. It's like asking what I think of men who go to the gym, or like lettuce on their sandwiches. It's just another normal thing people do in life.
Sex is a very normal everyday thing that many people need to feel fulfilled, and the sex industry is great to fill that need. People like to bone. It's none of my business, and because I'm not a Catholic from the 1800s, I don't think it's deeply wrong or sinful.
The only issue is that it's not regulated enough, there aren't enough protections in place for the workers or the customers.
I know you probably mean prostitutes or "escorts", but aren't porn actors also sex workers? I watch porn all the time, so do a lot of people. I feel sorry for the sad sacks who aren't "allowed" to look at porn because their significant other is so goddamn insecure, the idea of their partner having their own private thoughts scares the shit out of them.
Support prostitutes by means other than being a John. Do a Holden Caulfield if you like and pay for their time to just hang out, idk. The John is instinsically in a position of power by using money to be entitled to sex, and is part of the social violence of coercing desperate people into dangerous and frequently traumatizing* labor.
*look up ptsd rates
IMO the more that money is involved in anything, the less actually voluntary it is, because we need money to live and plenty of people don't have a lot of options for making money. With sex it's really important for everything to be actually consensual, but paying for it makes that ambiguous, they can't really know, so I see it as creepy and unethical.
I love my customers
Safe. Sane. Consensual. Pretty simple. If money changes hands, whatever. Don't be a dick and no means no. In fact, until there is a yes, you cannot assume there is consent. I digress...
My idea of what the average sex worker client is like isn't positive, but I wouldn't hold it against someone I already know to be upstanding if I found out they had used one's services.
I hold no prejudices. In general, I try not to judge anyone until I've got to know them, what their values are, etc.
I hired an escort once. It was awkward. First, I was paranoid about it being a sting or something. Then, I was worried about getting my wallet stolen. When "it" was over, I started getting up to leave, then the women was like "your time's not up yet," then laid beside me and started a conversation about q-anon type stuff. Lady had some mental issues, which made me feel kinda bad about the whole thing (and a little bit scared at the time, lol).
Anyways, I would never bring this up on a date or even to a partner (or friend). It is completely irrelevant to a relationship. If asked directly if I've ever hired a sex worker, I would lie. There's a lot of stigma around sex workers and their clients, even with people who are generally more "accepting." Someone could be a good potential partner, friend, or whatever, but have one weird hang-up about not dating someone who was a "john," and I wouldn't want to exclude them from being a potential partner/friend just because of that.
Creepy
I support sex workers but im sorry I will never step foot in a strip club. I guess in some places people go to strip clubs mostly to club and to party, but not near me, and I’ve never met anyone who frequents the strip clubs around me who wasn’t really sus.
Its a perfectly reasonable option for those that for whatever reason are unable to meet their needs by more conventional/ socially acceptable means. I do not make use of sex worker services currently but if the need arose in the future I would not rule it out, and would not look down on anyone else for doing so (as long as trafficing is not involved)
Although not something I could see myself doing, I don't judge. People can be too busy for dating, out of practice, too awkward or just wanting to cross off something off their bucket list. At the very least it ain't my business.
where, which sex workers, and which services? i think men who spend more money on onlyfans than they do on groceries are dumb, i think strip clubs are fucken weird, i think sex tourists probably deserve death, and i think most johns are walking into a minefield of exploitation.
I don’t see a problem with it but there’s definitely a stigma associated with it. (At least in the US) I think folks who pay are seen as not being able to find it elsewhere which may make them appear as not desirable to other people which then may make your partner question if they’re making a bad choice. Unless you happen to be in an area that has well regulated sex workers, I imagine people might think that you’ve been exposed to STDs which may give you a perception of being “unclean”.
I don’t think you should have to lie when finding a partner… but I do think telling them this (at the beginning) may be problematic for you for a lot of people.
I’d love to see sex work well regulated, protected, and normalized in the US but I don’t think we’re there.
Pierre Elliot Trudeau, a former prime minister of Canada, has a great quote that I like to pull out: "No place for the state in the bedrooms of of the nation."
I think sex work should be legal and regulated to avoid trafficking and other health issues. General indecency shouldn't be allowed, like in playgrounds, parks, or where minors may otherwise be present. Private clubs, events, etc. should be fine. Governments should otherwise be uninvolved in our sex lives. It's none of their business.
However to answer your question directly, while I think it should be legal I also think it's sad when men use a sex workers services. I try not to, but I can't help but judge them. There's only a handful of reasons where I think its a persons only option. If someone feels like they've run out of options, it's just sad to me. What's gone wrong? Where's your confidence? Have you given up?
And for those legitimate reasons, like someone who's physically handicapped - that's heartbreaking for whole other reasons.
It just makes me sad.
Logically, if he treats the sex worker right, with no demanding, no (non negotiated/sane) violence, and his actions don’t extend into monogamous relationships, and his views on future sexual partners are neither transactional nor cruel, it should be fine.
Emotionally would likely be a different story for the partner, or at least for me. Partly due to the stigma attached to sex work, and partly due to feelings of inadequacy or worry about needing to perform unwanted acts, and partly due to a suspicion that that really would affect his views, because people’s thoughts and feelings are messy, sprawling things that don’t fit into the mental cabinets we stuff them into. But if the partner couldn’t get over that, then they’re not for him.
And yes, this applies to women who pay for sex workers, too. Or at least it damn well should.
I know a guy who does, and while it doesn't really matter I'm my opinion, he's kind of a weirdo sleezebag already so it's kind of expected. I suspect there's a correlation that makes it a little hard to separate the service from the kind of guy who would seek out the service.
No judgement. BUT. I have slightly less of an opinion of those who do it when visiting a foreign country. Like a number of other things (such as gambling) I don't quite like the idea of a city having their citizens relying on sex tourism for sustainability, which by itself is whatever. But mixing that with the concept of fetishizing other races makes it icky. I can't imagine a man with "class" doing it.
It grosses me out, but as long as they're not shitty to the sex worker and the sex worker isn't being abused by a pimp, and everyone consents, it's none of my damned business.
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Sex work is legal where I live. Nevertheless there is a lot of crime related to the sex work sector, human traficking, sexual abuse of minors, gangs etc. However I think it would be much worse if it was not regulated in anyway. My personal opinion - I would rather live in a world without it. Personally I would never go to a hooker. Most important thing though is that sex workers can decide for themselves and are not forced to do sex work (may it physical force, drug addiction or just no other way financially)
I mean, it just depends on why. I don't look down on it as a whole, but if you're in a relationship and doing it on the side, I think you're a scumbag. That would go for women, too though.
I personally wouldn't date a man who's into that, I'd be too worried they'd indulge while we're together, and that's a hard no for me.
My opinion is based on an older gentleman commiserating on how difficult it was for young impoverished students to pay for everything nowadays. I was in debt, and had at just that moment come out at the LGB soc. That person was my bank manager.
Subs that pay doms don't bother me at all.
I believe a lot do not care whether the sex worker really does the job as a free decision. I think even more have no respect for sex workers. A few do not see sex workers as people, but rather as usable bodies. A few go to sex workers because they are misogynists. I think a few use it to be unfaithful towards their partners without their partners having the same opportunities.
Why not. As long as no one suffers, it's fine by me. It's a transaction like any other. Just be a decent human being (which applies in every context) and I won't think any less of you.
Think of the local economy
I think they should be [REDACTED]
No opinion. Not my business.
It's mutually consensual and beneficial, and they don't walk away with half your shit when things go south.
I think it should be considered rape.
Men who pay for sex are the driving force behind human trafficking.
I'm all for freedom, and I will acknowledge that there are probably women in the "sex trade" who were not trafficked or coerced into it, but that number pales in comparison to the number of girls who have been stolen and forced into a horrific life, having lost all control of their future. Freedom is among the most important qualities of human life, and the horror of human trafficking and the way it completely removes all freedom from the lives of its victims trumps the freedom of choosing to sell sex.
Most places, prostitution is illegal, enforced by going after the prostitute and slapping the wrists of the men who use them. I find it immoral and reprehensible that women would be criminalized for this.
Rather, men who make use of sex workers should be ostracized from society and imprisoned as rapists. And the women should be treated with compassion and care, as victims of abuse.
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Have y'all met the guys who buy hookers? They're sleezeball dickheads 9/10 times
Guy who goes a few times a year is regular. Guy who goes multiple times a week sleeze.
Sad I guess?
I think it fucks up the marriage (divorce) racket for women due to the fact it's simply cheaper and a lot less hassle.
That's why it gets screeched about.
The bottom line is that it's no one's business what 2 consenting adults do.
How is it different than pouring $100 worth of liquor down some woman's throat at the bar, banging once and never seeing again?
Flame away, dgaf.
Better than rapists. No more no less.
Disgusting. Better things to do with my life
