I need to stiffen up and pull some more.

I hurt. I hurt all the the fucking time. My belly hurts. I'm reducing my drinking but it really sucks. The withdrawals suck real bad.

Lost my colon to U.C. Have a bag on my belly.

I have to move my family out of the south. I have to be physically able to do it. We have to get out.

If I get them out maybe I they'll be able to live happy.

I just want to die. I want the pain to stop. I don't let my people know. They can't do it without me.

I'm tired. I hurt all the time. I'm tired of hurting. I could turn it off, but I don't for now. I'm tired of the pain. I love them and they need me. I just want to make sure they're in a good place, away from here. Then I can finish it.