Too late, they're already celebrating

My wife's mother had a complete month-long meltdown the day she found out that my wife, who was the girlfriend at the time, had sex for the first time. Called her a slut, said nobody would ever want her now, life was over, etc. My other half was 20 years old when this happened, so it's not like the MIL was worried about her teenager.

Of course we got married months after that, and I'm the only one my wife has been with. Almost immediately the woman who flew into a rage over her daughter being touched by someone else was insisting that I get her pregnant pretty much every time we saw her. We did have one kid, after a few years.

But my wife, who is an amazing person, has a petty streak. When her mom spends the night, I have to make sure I'm hydrated and rested because the wife will be loudly fucking my brains out, because she wants her mom to have to listen to us. She also has said, many times this year, that we are trying for a baby, which will cause someone to point out that I've had The Snip™, to which she will reply "Well we are going to keep trying anyway".

Such antics have kept relatives from asking when we will have kids. You won't get a kid out of us, bit you WILL get Too Much Information.

Mormons are different as they don't drink alcohol. They will instead straight up ask couples whether they're trying to have a baby like it's the only possible topic

So glad my family isn’t like this because both me and my mom hate the taste of alcohol