This IS my final form

If only ...

I used to like C++. Over the last 20 years it became a horrible language (imho). It now has more syntax than all other C-style languages combined. I try not to touch it (anymore) if I don't have to. 7 years ago I got hired as a senior C# .NET developer (experience since .NET 1.1). I ended up doing nothing but C++ for the first year because people found out I could do it. I was the guy in that meme:

Did someone say Cobol?
- I did some Cobol, too, back in the day.
Hadn't seen this meme before but fuck me do I know the feeling.

Is that what C++ developers look like? Creepy ocean-floor-dwelling mollusks?

Just wait until the ~~(c)rustacean~~ C developer appears
- We prefer to spend our time embedded in the c floor.
- ~~(c)helicerate~~, to be pedantic

Precisely. Note that it says C++ developer, not C++ language.

C++ might evolve (too much I would think) but I'll be damned as a C++ developer who learned it around 2000 if I learn any of the new features.

Your code is unreadable, junior. Pull request rejected.

I mean even C++11 is a significantly different creature from OG C++. C++23 will have monadic optionals; maybe a future release will have generalized monads.

Lick monads lol gottem.
- Dammit
The 11 stands for the number of arms that have been bolted onto the dog in an attempt to turn it into an octopus.
Yeah modern Cpp is kinda fun to code in now, but I still don't really care for header files.
- We have very different ideas of what constitutes 'fun'.
- cmake now finally supports c++20 modules
  I wouldn't use modules in production quite yet, there's still a lot of implementation bugs, but for experimenting its quite usable

I for one am glad something I started learning 30 years ago is still in widespread use. It's both an ugly and a beautiful language at the same time.

C++ get new features all the time. I think something like C would be a better example.

C99 forever
Notice how it says the word “developer”
- C++ people still change. Normal people update their version when new ones come out and adapt their pratices to "Modern Idiomatic C++". While a ton of C developers have been using C89 since the 90s.

If it ain't broke don't fix it

I find these broken on the beach all the time
- And? Did you fix them?

Well, your fears are well-founded, mutation is one of the biggest drivers of evolution.
I'd rather mutate. If there's one thing I've learned from Pokémon is that sometimes evolving is just not worth it.

Worst Pokemon ever