If linux distributions were tools.

First I wanted to contradict and say that I like arch linux because it feels good... So yes: I see your point
- It's so plug & play
  
  Universal Plug and Play: it works on all genders!
- ;-)

Hmm, the Arch one seems to be incorrect. People who wear a buttplug won't randomly announce that they're wearing buttplug.
- They likely would, if it was an Arch butt plug.
  
  A Bluetooth controlled butt plug that runs Arch? 😩
- We don't have the same friends.
- Acutally.. They do on the internet. And may even earn money by doing so.
- Also, too smooth for Archusers. They prefer more pain.
- I read the meme as Arch is something that you should shove up your @$$
  
  It's okay to say "ass" on the internet, FYI.

I feel like Ubuntu should be one of those squeaky hammer toys. Maybe I’m just biased,
- I think you're right. But, I'm trying to make my memes inclusive: I don't bash ubuntu users for the same reasons I don't beat people already on the ground and refrain from mocking the handicapped.
  
  Well you bash us arch users but i get it we can take it! Lmao. Or maybe ubuntu users just can't take a joke
  
  But what makes ubuntu better as a first distro than mint or fedora? It installs snaps even when you specifically invoke apt, a new user who doesn't understand the messages will press yes, see that it seemed to work and have issues later that can scare them away from linux.
  What I'm trying to say is that we should bash the people still recommending ubuntu.
  
  Eh. Using Ubuntu is nothing like having a mental or physical handicap, or having fallen and gotten knocked down/pushed down.
  My issue with Ubuntu is that there’s better distros- even for newbs coming from windows for the first time. The sole argument for Ubuntu is the first reason not to use it. People are installing it because they want something different than windows, after all, and canonical makes the same critical error (IMO) that MS makes: it assumes their users are stupid.
  To be honest, I grew up in red hat; I remember trying Ubuntu when it first came out, being told how awesome it was. I found it to be infuriating and horrible. And it has always been so. To me, it’s popularity seems derived more from marketing than from merit.
- No, Debian should definitely be the Swiss army knife, and Ubuntu should definitely be the playdoh Swiss army knife.

That's a weird Debian logo on the Swiss Army Knife

I use lube btw
- is it really Arch if you're not going in dry?
  
  lube = archinstall
  
  No, I am the pain in the Arch
  
  aaaAAAAaarch
- Isn’t that gentoo then?

The swiss army knife should not be Ubuntu lol. Ubuntu would be like the dollar store knockoff that falls apart with use.
- You mean to say the version where the Victorinox logo is replaced with the Ubuntu one?
  Looks half way convincing but is shit in reality?
- Always felt more like a hammer to me.
- Used it for 2 years on desktop and server.
  Documentation is always outdated and useless. GNOME is crap. apt has a dependency issue every week. Repos have software ranging from bleeding edge to horrendously outdated. Netplan is next level stupid and also decides to break for no reason. Systemd waits for network to boot by default because reasons. Versioning and LTS adds more magic fun to doing anything because of the aforementioned documentation. Last time I used it, still had crap interoperability when switching DEs for some weird reason. Canonical is the big dumb dumb. All the downstreams inherit the same problems like PopOS and elementary.
  I took all of that experience and thought it was the default linux expectations until I got to try Debian for server and Fedora for desktop.
  Unfortunately, people make the same mistake as me and then assume broken Ubuntu is just how linux is.
  Credit though, it did get to teach me the general ins and outs of linux because I needed to fix or change something every other week.
  
  Ubuntu LTS is the least stable LTS Linux distro I've ever used. There's why I avoid Ubuntu. It isn't about normies it's about avoiding Canonical.
  
  It most certainly does. It's the only distro that I do not trust anymore to do a proper job of automatically partitioning your drive during setup, after getting complaints from my parents that Ubuntu refused to install updates. Turned out it had created a rediciously small boot partition and was now complaining that it had not enough space left to install new kernel versions as they kept around all old ones. "Because users might want to use those", according to their documentation. Bitch, you market yourself as the distro suitable for absolute beginners, but you not only expect them to know what a kernel is, but also that they clean them up their selves? What an absolutely moronic decision.
  I've had broken installations after upgrades to a major version in the past and I've seen a number of colleagues switch to plain Debian or Arch derivatives after Ubuntu decided to crap out after a major upgrade.
  I've seen Ubuntu systems not being able to upgrade due to circular dependencies that couldn't be resolved by Apt, package Foo requires Bar, Bar requires Baz, Baz requires Foo. Or even packages from their own repository that couldn't be upgraded because some dependency wasn't available anymore.
  Just a handful of the issues I've encountered with Ubuntu. Personally I'm done with that distro. If it works for you, by all means use it. But I don't help friends and colleagues (we all get to choose our own distro fortunately, but also have to fix issues ourselves) anymore when they decide to go Ubuntu. Use a proper distro if you want my help, not that Fisher-Price 'My First Linux' crap.

I use arch btw
- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Ubuntu. Multitool. Yeah, funny
- Its pretty apt because while you can technically use it to do a variety of things its almost always outclassed in any particular use
  
  Its pretty apt
  I see what you did there
  
  And it's popular, and it's something non-Linux users might recognize.
  
  Exactly, multi role and underpowered.
  
  Well, I didn't see it from that point. Makes sense 🤣
- I'd have gone with a spork. Not particularly good at anything it was built to do, but functional enough to get the job done, and pretty straight forward to use.
  
  Any wet meal you would have previously used a fork a spork/splade works better. It is the apex of TV dinner eating implements after hands only. 😉
- Checking calendar to see if April 1st
- I don't know why, but it really is. You'd be surprised to see how many servers in the wild run ubuntu and how many docker images are based on ubuntu.
  
  Docker images should really be distroless most of the time. There's way too much junk in the majority of Docker images when in most cases, you really just need your app and whatever dynamic libraries or runtimes it requires (if you can't statically compile it). You don't need an OS in there!
  Also there'd be way more servers running Debian compared to Ubuntu.
  
  It's because of laziness.

Mint would be a colourful toy piano. Just the way I like it.
- That guy is so rad.

It should have a tail.
- You can glue your own tail, there are instructions in the guide for proper configuration and cleaning.
  
  yay -Syu tail-plug
- No. It should be minimalistic by default. If you want to add a tail just grab one from the AUR.
- Well, you can install Gentoo with USE=tail

You can use those other distributions as buttplugs, too, but they're not going to be pleasurable or even comfortable.
- This statement implies using arch btw as a buttplug is pleasurable and/or comfortable.
  
  Did they stutter?
- Anything can be a butt plug if you are brave enough

My friend who uses Arch...btw. Is good at chess
- Is this them? Looks like a chess pro.
  
  Yeah butt with a tail.
- Bzzzzzzzt
- i guess i got something in common with ur friend:)

That would explain the joy I'm feeling when using my PC

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masterbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masterbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
- The weak prude mindset vs the based chad buttset

Not everyone's thing, but if you're into it, feels really good to use?
- Only one way to find out if you would like it ...
  
  I know I like it. That's why I have 2

Arch is so pleasant to to use...
- But it's a little cold at first when you start using it.
  
  using no install helper ≈ no lube, no prewarming
  
  And one wrong move is a twinge of pressure

You got kinda an obsession with arch 😂 BTW im using Windows 11
- What "tool" should we then assign to Win11.
  Inflatable mattress with a hole in?
  Stop light at a roadside construction site?
  
  Chastity belt.
  
  Useless Machine
  
  Money Machine.
  Than 1 and 2

So I just spent the last day reading the Arch wiki on butt plugs. It is now fully configured and ready for use 🥴
- You're joking, but-- https://buttplug.io/
  
  The fact that this exists makes me so happy. I doubt I'd ever use a smart buttplug, but I'm oddly relived that those who want Bluetooth up their ass can do so using open-source software.
  
  The second sentence on the website
  WELCOME STARDEW VALLEY AND ULTRAKILL PLAYERS! [...] Check out Lovense, Kiiroo, Satisfyer and others for toys that will work with the game!
  STARDEW VALLEY
  
  This could unironically be useful for adult themed games lmao
  
  Wow I didn't know I needed this, thanks

This is garbage, preposterous even! Kali is a toy lockpick for script kiddies, parrotOS is where the real deal is. Or you know just install the tools on debian.
I use arch btUwU
- It was PHLAK back in the day. I just like Kali because it has so many tools ready to go out of the box. Run Debian as main OS though and it's pretty simple to add their repos and install them.

If linux distros were WW2 tanks.
Linux Mint - M4 Sherman
Sturdy, reliable, easy to build and maintain
Ubuntu - T-34
Easy to build, does what you want it to but terribly unreliable and tends to break down after a while
Arch - Tiger
Hard to build and takes too long, works great in design but in practice it just breaks down, over riced causing it to be unstable
Debian - Challenger
The best, usable in any situation, fairly easy to build and mighty reliable.
Linux Lite - M24 Chaffee
Fast, small, easy to build and unusually reliable for a light distro.
CentOS - Char B1
Outdated but still a beast of a distro.
- The fact you know this much about Linux distros and WW2 tanks might actually might actually make you the nerdiest of the nerds.
- Dude this is awesome, and as a Linux nerd and tank nerd, a great comparison!
- I find Rocky not being here at all funny.
- Slackware - T-55 or M3 Stuart
  Outdated and should have been dead and gone a long time ago, but somehow still in service in a few places and stable

Jokes on you I’m into that shit
- Maybe it's time for you to move on to gentoo:
  
  Please imagine a skull emoji

Sooo... Arch makes you horny?
- I thought that would be Hanna Montana Linux.
  Why are you booing? She's legal now.

Damn, maybe I should give Arch a try...
- Read the wiki before so you know how to use it without hurting yourself.
  
  Go slowly and use plenty of lube, right?

Gentoo would be the materials to make your own tool
- Some iron ore, a ton of clay, and instructions on how to make a furnace.
- Yeah just some steel, a welder, and a grinder
- Gentoo is the How To Make Everything Youtube channel.
  Linux from Scratch is Primitive Technology.
  
  Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
  How To Make Everything
  Primitive Technology
  Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
  I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

- I don't know what I'm looking at here. I also don't know if I want to know.
  
  Seems to be an asshole-mounted taco holder.
  
  A kinky trailer hitch?
- Brass knuckles... with a jesus figure... and side bars... with an embossed "have a taco"...
  so... BDSM "furniture" tool? Perhaps maid?

Arch should be a megaphone so they can broadcast “I use Arch BTW” to all.
- The plug has a speaker inside that shouts it every time you fart
- so....
  ?
  
  Yeah

Everybody hates arch for no good reason, I'm so sick of seeing these ancient /g/ memes. The Linux community should have better things to do than shit on one of the most secure distros. Like, y'all realize backdoors are built into motherboards nowadays right? So sure, we need to be even more zealous, serious and loud if anything, but the infighting? The infighting is fucking childish.
- They're not hating on Arch, they're "hating" on the small (but loud) group of people who have a superiority complex for just running Arch and doing it the manual way (and tends to see those who installed with archinstall as a cop-out).
  Just like the people who shit on those for using Windows.
- ancient /g/ memes
  Ancient maybe. But I only ever posted them to reddit. If you've seen them in /g/ that were reposts by other people.
  Like, y'all realize backdoors are built into motherboards nowadays right?
  True.
  So sure, we need to be even more zealous, serious and loud if anything, ...
  Zealot is like my middle name.
  ... but the infighting? The infighting is fucking childish.
  It's just so much fun. Don't you like fun?
  _cn zealot t0
  
  Well, okay so long as you're having fun 🌈 ☺️
- Is this a new copy/pasta?

Yeah, I'd shove Pacman up my ass... wait you were talking about the package manager?
- Found you, Rich Evans

If we want this meme to be accurate, they all have to be dildos with just slightly different sizes and colors
- No.

What is NixOS?
- A vibrating buttplug. It also self replicates at the press of a button.
  
  Reproducible stimulation
- https://uncovercreations.com/collections/ovipositors
  
  🧐😧

In the spirit of bashing Ubuntu, I'd like to propose we stick with the swiss army knife. But it's one of those strange Kickstarter projects where it's entirely controlled by an unnecessary phone app.
Arch being something that requires some research and prep beforehand makes sense through. As well as having fans who will swear that is actually quite enjoyable if you try it.
- No bashing Ubuntu!

Now there's an idea. Butt plugs with custom logos. I'm gonna be rich!
- I'll take 10%.

I use Arch, bt…fuck.
- It's OK. There's no kink shaming here.
- *buttfuck

I guess Gentoo should be customizable dildonator 9000.
- https://sh.itjust.works/comment/5506431

Debian instead of ubuntu for the multitool
- Ok, but the multitool must have a steeper learning curve and less GUIs
- Agree

ubuntu - kali
fedora - arch

Is Red Hat that Dunder Mifflin commercial where the person is wandering around a big box store but can't find anyone for service?

With all the Ubuntu bashing. It's the only Linux image I have used for my server. Also used Kali and a bunch of others on an old laptop.
Is Ubuntu server bad or does it just hold your hand too much. I have everything running in docker and manage that from a web gui.
- It's not that it's bad on a server, it's just that something like Debian with a couple tools on top gets you to the same place with less resources.
  For a home server, that reduction in overhead can mean squeezing out a few more services on a single box.
  
  Gotcha, I'll look into Debian. I chose Ubuntu as we use DoD STIGs at work and they have an automated tool and spec for Ubuntu.
  
  Counterpoint, Ubuntu is popular because it usually has what you need. For home stuff especially the limiting factor is usually time, not processing power.
- Anyone who bashes distros hasn't really understood Linux. The fact that you can choose gives us the ability to choose the right tool for the job. Ubuntu has pushed a few weird things into the Linux world, but the distro itself is still legit.
- Last time I used Ubuntu Server I was annoyed by those ads for some weird canonical subscriptions. Now I use Fedora ofc.
  
  True, not as bad as Microsoft but did remind me of them.
- What's wrong with Ubuntu in general?
  
  I’m personally not a fan of their approach to Snaps and hard pushing their snap store.
  Apt works just fine and if we want sandboxed apps, we could choose to install flatpaks.
  But the snapstore comes preinstalled and I’m not a fan of that.
  
  nothing really, mint is preferable if you need to use a ubuntu based dist
- Not sure if you are serious or your comment is a meta meme ...

Why is arch a buttplug?
- Idk, but it feels good.

Ubuntu and Kali are both just flavors of Debian though. Need RHEL logo on a corporate middle manager desk chair.

NixOS is just a hardware store

Which one is that on the pick set? I don't recognize the logo...
- Kali Linux. A pen testing distro.

As an Arch user I feel offended but indeed I own one. So I guess it's true...

Everything about this is wrong
- I take objection to this statement. I pride myself with displaying nothing but objective truth in the memes I create.
  
  Then explain your rational

Real question if I can sneak one in. If I want to buy a machine suitable to run Darktable for photo editing, which Linux distribution would be ideal for that? Other than photo editing, I might watch movies in browser while browsing other sites on a different screen. That's all I really use PC to do these days. Advice? I don't want to accidently use a butt plug.
Edit for additional context if it wasn't immediately apparent: I am a casual who just doesn't like Microsoft. But I don't use anything else that concerns me for a switch to Linux. I just want easy setup and use for my purposes.
- I would personally recommend EndeavourOS or PopOS.
  https://endeavouros.com/
  https://pop.system76.com/
  I recommend EndeavourOS primarily because of it's ease of use and rolling distro means you'll have access to the latest bug fixes and patches (and a very active and supportive community), whereas it does come with the drawback of requiring to fix things every now and then if you've installed packages from places other than endeavour/Aur or require packages/apps that are older.
  Yay (package manager) is very easy to get using as a beginner, however, if you don't want rolling updates and just large update packages similar in scope to windows service pack updates I'd recommend popos or the sister/base os ubuntu. (fedora apparently may be good in this instance as well but I've very little contact with the OS and have been avoiding RHEL-related products recently because of their anti-consumer and anti-open source actions recently).
  Ultimately it's definitely recommended that you try a few distro's to get a feel for what you like and then customize to your hearts content.
  https://distrowatch.com/ if you'd like a more in depth review of various distros and what their performance bonuses or problems are.
  EndeavourOS with xfce4 is very clean and quick to pick up with their little introductory/learning module that they include (once installed or on live, it will provide a popup that includes the following):
- I always recommend mint. There are a lot of small convenience features that remove friction points for new users and because it's based on the very popular Ubuntu there are a lot of documentation out there.
- I’ve switched from Windows 11 to Pop!_OS and don’t have any complaints. It looks different to Windows (no start menu like windows) but that wasn’t a turn off for me. If you want something that looks closer to a windows machine, Mint is a great option
- I have no experience with Darktable. But, really any and every distro should do it. Every distro comes with a learning curve. My personal advice would be not to go with distro derivatives. In the early days, Ubuntu was quite good, for making Debian "more accessible" to a larger audience and people unfamiliar with linux. I still like it for being an African success story. But, I can't recommend it anymore for a slew of reasons. So, I'd say, go with debian, fedora, or even Arch. If you want to go with debian, you should know about non-free. If you go with fedora, you should know about rpmfusion. If you want to go with Arch, you should be comfortable with a more bare-bones and hands-on experience and reading the Arch-wiki (which is one of the most extensive and best wikis out there, and even useful if you use another distro). If you want something stable that just works and don't need the newest of the new software, use debian. If you want the bleeding edge, that mostly just works, go with fedora. If you want the bleeding edge, want maximum control, and are not afraid to stay on top of it, go with Arch. Of course, many other distros could be a good pick for you. They all have pros and cons.

I've been documenting my experience with switching over to linux and how it's gone. Day 1 and 2 posts have been made.
Fedora is terrible from my day 1 experience.
- Seems like you're currently using Pop! OS. Just wanted to give you some tips: Don't install Manjaro, AFAIK their packages are mostly outdated and the distro says it supports the Arch User Repository when it clearly does not and breaks the system. Some more distros that you can use are Nobara (which is Fedora based so there is a chance you will face the same issues), Linux Mint, KDE Neon and Ubuntu.
  
  Yep! Pop!OS is my current OS.
  After researching Nobara was actually my first choice of OS! Sadly, I couldn't get the live USB off their site to work, all I ever got was a black screen when booting from the USB. When I did it in command line it threw some kernel errors.
  Fedora KDEPlasma was my second choice as I liked the desktop layout. It didn't like it when I installed the nvidia drivers.
  Fedora 39 workstation was my last fedora. I actually got Nvidia working on it. But when I tried to play a video from my NAS server it was choppy and would crash when tracking within the video file. Which I'm guessing is some Nvidia compatibility issues based on what I was reading on the forums, which is apparently a known and unresolved issue in Fedora 39 as of now.
  Pop!OS just worked. Off the rip, zero issues whatsoever with Nvidia or graphics issues. Most issues have been caused by my inexperience so far.
- If your fedora experience is that terrible, you've clearly not figured out how it's done.
  
  Yeah I think that's kinda the point. Fedora does a bunch of things in really specific ways that aren't at all like Debian based distros or Mac or windows. Eg - Selinux. So you, initial experience is pretty poor if you don't know a decent amount about what's going on
  
  You can read about my experience with Fedora on my day 1 post if you'd like. Bottom line, there were a TON of issues with Nvidia compatibility, and VLC ran like garbage on it.

I need then butt plug.

I don't get it...
- Loosen up baby

Not accurate at all. As bare minimum, Ubuntu should be dildo as it only gives you a great experience without assembling any sex toys lol.

so....

?