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The Picard Maneuver @startrek.website

1y ago

The difference is staggering

35 comments

Dad joke group: Are the stairs okay?

Brah one of my kids fell down the stairs a few weeks ago while my wife was trying to get out the door with them, and she just looked down and him and says "you know my rule, nobody is allowed to fall down the stairs in this house". I had to walk away before they all saw me laughing
- My son, when he fell as a toddler, always looked to us to see if we reacted. I learned to say "TOUCHDOWN!" or "What are you doing on the floor?" or "While you're down there, can you see if there's any loose change under the couch?" If he was okay, he'd be distracted. If not, he'd cry immediately, and that's how we knew he was actually hurt.
  
  ^ How it should be done. If you freak out, they assume from your reaction that they've been grievously injured.
  I've also heard of the trick of offering them candy as a "medicine," the idea being that if a slab of chocolate was enough, they weren't hurt, and if they continue screaming you might have to worry.
  This necessitates walking around with uneaten chocolate, though.
- Haha, I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face. Hope the kid was alright.
  
  Yeah kid was fine, they're made to bounce
- Sounds like my MIL. Number one rule is “no boo-boos at grandmas house”.
  Actually I think that may be the only rule.

Alabama dad group:
Why was your wife not watching? You should beat the crap outta her.
- And better to just beat them even if they were. Gotta keep them on their toes, you know?

If you browse any equivalent to /r/whywomenlive longer this shouldn’t surprise you
- That was one of my favorites back on reddit.
  
  Counterpoint: dadreflexes.

Boomer humor
- Yeah, probably. But it rings true in my experience so far.
- Yet it's the truest of them all. I say this as a man.

- Stop trying to make everything about your shitty politics you weak ass troll
  
  Unrelated to the discussion, but “you weak ass troll” is fantastic and I’m stealing it lol
- That's a terrible analogy. It's not even close
- I don't think I've ever heard of a carefree Republican.
  If you want the analogy to be correct, you need the men side of your story to actively sabotage the stairs or push the child to make them fall.
  Or the women trying to add or repair hand rails to make them safer, and the men saying "No that won't prevent falls." And actively prevent any repairs.
- These are poor analogies based on gender and parental stereotypes that not only have no basis in reality but are so reductivist as to be insulting.
- You're going to want to work on that one some. I don't think you're ready for primetime yet.
- Probably requires some cooperation too.
- Optimism and Centrism? You know everyone is going to hate you for this...

35 comments