The Tale of Los Tiburon
The Tale of Los Tiburon
Transcription
A 4chan post with a portrait of a masked wrestler looking off to the side
BROther Laughing Man !!6Ltud83uedY, 11/20/2010, 03:18
>playing half-orc monk
>decide to play something beyond weeaboo 'i am master of martial arts'
>Spent 100gp on an inlaid mask with intricate tribal designs sewn on the sides with a 'fin'
>BECOME LOS TIBURON, THE SHARK OF THE LAND, MASKED WRESTLER.
>take feats revolving around grappling.
>grapple EVERYTHING.
>EVERYTHING
>EVERY. FUCKING. THING.
>including, but not limited to, a bear
>final part of the campaign
>OH SHIT DRAGON
>dragon acts like a faggot, ducking into the water and popping up to use breath weapon
>fuck that, I'm charging his ass
>brother, playing warforged fighter, assists my MIGHTY LEAP into the air, where I pose mid-air shouting about the HONOR OF THE MASK
>TACKLE A FUCKING DRAGON
>deal unarmed damage, latch on, take deep breath in preparation for the underwater struggle
>dragon goes up. forgot they can actually fly
>DM gives me the option to let go before he goes up. Fuck that, I'm still wrestling.
>200 FEET IN THE AIR, STILL WRESTLING A DRAGON AND DEALING UNARMED DAMAGE
>Dragon actually starts hurting me. Have to come up with a plan. BRILLIANCE STRIKES ME.
>"I roll to pin."
>entire table is silent.
>I roll to 'pin' the his wings behind his back, so he can't fly anymore.
>ENTIRE TABLE IS LEANING OVER SO I CAN MAKE MY ROLL OF DESTINY
>NATURAL. FUCKING. TWENTY.
>I pin the dragon's wings, sending it and me hurtling into the ground. I have six seconds to make my final statement.
>"I AM LOS TIBURON! And I am... a lucha!!!"
>Dragon's neck snaps on impact
>Through sheer luck or GM fiat, possibly both, I survive at -4 HP
>Cleric brings me back at one, picks me up, holding one arm into the air
>My brother immediately bangs his shield twice, making a bell noise
>Party's bard/diplomancer: "And the winner is... Los Tiburon!"
>high fives all around
And that was the story of how I made it to level four.
Anon 03:22
[replying to an unknown post]
Yes.
[replying to BROther Laughing Man]
YES
Anon 03:29
[replying to BROther Laughing Man]
you win d&d forever
This is the first RPG story I remember reading, a few years before I played my first game.
I remember being 16 and standing in a car park with my friend, recounting this story and his only real response was "you fuckin nerd".
I literally think about this hobby every day now, and write about it in some way every day too, I guess he was right.
You win D&D when everyone has fun; I’d call this supreme victory