What secret do you know that could ruin someone else's life?
What secret do you know that could ruin someone else's life?
Probably a boring answer but I know my grandmother's credit card information. I live with and help take care of her, so she doesn't mind sharing it with me. Not like I'm planning to do anything nefarious, but I guess technically it could ruin her financially.
Lawyers, accountants, and software engineers accumulate these things like you wouldn't believe. We can't tell you about current secrets, only stale ones.
I once knew that the top level password used at a corporation valued at 6 billion dollars was 'password123'. They had no backups, no VPN, and that password was used at all the high-value access points. It's since been fixed, but it was that for years.
It's since been fixed, but it was that for years.
I like that this implies you regularly checked
Regularly had to use it to do work I was contracted to do.
Company went public one day, they restructured massively to become more efficient. I imagine that kind of stuff stopped then, but don't really know.
"What the CEO wants, the CEO gets" - head of IT doing nothing for 300k/yr
That I've had to turn down some really cool overseas job opportunities. I couldn't tell my kids that I even got the job offers because their mother (my ex wife) refuses to consider the move and how we'd need to share the kids time with them overseas.
If I told the kids (now late teens) that their dream of living overseas was stymied so far by their mother's recalcitrance they might disown her, at least for a while.
It really sucks because not only don't I get to take the jobs, but I also have to hide my excitement at even getting the offer from my own family so that I can maintain my kids' relationship with their mother.
A hidden hero.
There's hopefully some context you're leaving out for the sake of privacy or something, but... Why would your ex consider a move to Europe for your work? I wouldn't even expect my wife to be 100% on board with uprooting her entire life to move halfway across the world.
Ah, there's a bit of miscommunication. My ex wouldn't move with us in this situation.
Though, in this case, my wife is 100% on board. She and I have wanted to make this kind of move for a while, so I've got full support on that side of things. I wouldnt have even begun any applications without her total but in.
Yeah I can see how this is complicated.
I don't see why you don't share that you got the job offer and then tell your kids that you'll have to work out custody arrangements with their mother. And then share with the kids how those discussions go. I think they're old enough (as teens) to have a say in those discussions, as well as be privy to how they go.
There's no reason they shouldn't see it unfold in front of them; just make sure that you're never the one to specifically say "your mother won't work anything out with me so moving overseas with me would mean I never see you again"
This is a passive aggressive and shitty thing to do.
Not wanting your kids to be moved overseas and only see them half the year is a normal reaction. Most teenagers are mature enough to see through the veil that mom is the reason they can't go but not mature enough to truly understand why. They'd blame her regardless.
I have a lot of relatives who look to me for tech support. I used to have them choose their own passwords, or tell them to change it if I set one for them (they never change it). Then, inevitably, I'd have to help them reset those passwords the very next time they need to log in on a new device, or their sessions expire.
I tried to set them up with password managers, and some picked it up (my siblings). Others quickly forgot their master password, meaning I then had to sort out recovering ALL their various accounts.
Once I literally used a known exploit to hack into an old android tablet that my youngest sibling managed to forget the screen-lock for.
Now I just shamelessly save a bunch of other people's passwords, pin-codes and other access details using my password manager, because they literally do not care. And it's straight up more secure than the post-it notes some of them would use if I let them. They know I do this, I've made it clear that if they want my help but won't follow my advice when I'm not there, making my life harder, further help comes with giving me unreasonable levels of access to their digital lives.
I've never misused it, and I never will. I take steps to be extra secure because I know I'm a single point of failure should my password database ever be breached somehow. But I could ruin dozens of lives.
Writing passwords down isn't that bad, actually. We humans are very good at securing little pieces of paper; just put the one you wrote your password on with the other valuable pieces of paper, in your wallet.
It's "sticking the post-it note to the computer screen" that's the problem.
Absolutely, but unless you do stick it to the monitor, you still rely on them remembering where the note is, what it's for, and keeping it around.
And keeping some passwords in your wallet is only safe for as long as you don't also include what they are for. Which would be necessary in this case...
I obviously also forbid them from using the same password for everything, which meant that even when they did write their passwords down, finding it was a scavenger hunt that's an even bigger time-waste than a password reset. Because they never kept them organized or in even in one place!
I set up my mom and brother with a multivault password manager (1password) where our vault passwords are saved to a shared vault in case we forget our passwords/die - given the level of familial trust I think it's an acceptable risk especially with how badly we got burnt by trying to get into utility accounts and the like after my father died.
I haven't gotten to that point yet, but I am very close.
There's a teacher at my kid's school that I fucked multiple times a few years before I got married. She was married at the time, though I didn't know it.
I have pictures, and videos. Not just ones with me, she kept such things with other lovers as well. She showed them to me by sending them to me. I have permission to have kept them, though I had forgotten about them until my kid started high school and I ran into her.
Now, her husband is fine with it, they're open. He was kinda surprised when I quit having sex with her when I found out she was married (I just don't like complications, even with mostly casual sex and minimum complications).
But if it got out at the school, or to the school board? It would be a huge problem. Our town isn't totally backwards, but it isn't exactly a hotbed of open minds either.
There's no way in hell I'd ever say anything to anyone where it could be found out, and I sure as hell wouldn't break trust and show anyone the files. But I've been debating erasing those files just to be sure. They're on a drive that isn't connected to anything, which is why I haven't already; I'd have to dig the thing out and hook it up.
Even if her husband was OK with it, she still should have told you she was married. The fact that she didn't would be enough to make me end it. I mean, if they have an open marriage, why avoid mentioning it?
That was my opinion as well.
She said that she didn't think it would be a regular thing, and by the time she realized we were good enough together sexually to keep at it, she just forgot to mention it for a while.
Which, I could see that being a realistic occurrence. We didn't exactly talk much when we would meet up.
School boards can be wildly conservative when practicing CYA.
I was dumb enough to have been fucking my neighbor for a year. If I told her school what she gets up to, she'd be gone.
For example, her and the other neighbors were partying all night. Guess who didn't go to work today. This is a common occurrence.
I hope that drive is encrypted
Yes, actually!
If the other company would end the contract without hesitation if they knew what was going on, that means people are getting hurt.
I know someone whose husband thinks her daughter is his but she isn't. (She isn't my daughter either lol.)
Man, for me it would be funny to do the opposite question.
"What secret do you know that could fix someone else's life?"
I would tell half my family that they are a bunch of conservative hypocrites and that they waste so much f*king money showing others they have money. (Expensive cars, clothing and stuff).
Maybe if they stopped wasting money and being so critical of others, they would have actual friends and lasting relationships.
Sorry, i needed to vent.
FWIW I see you. :( Good luck with them.
If someone’s else’s problems are leading to you needing to vent, there’s more going on than you just being concerned about them.
Someone close to me had a "relationship" with a student. Their spouse did as well with another student but didn't get caught. It made all the local news because the student went to the cops. The person who got caught got fired and arrested. The first person keeps telling people about the jobs their being considered for, and I keep sending emails to their "future" employers with all the links to the news articles on the case. This person has been unemployed for more than a year now. They've even been asked back for a second interview several times but it always gets cancelled. This person can do no wrong in the eyes of their family. This person has been a piece of shit for the decades I have known them. Their very uptight religious in laws have gotten emails in case they missed the news. They weren't fans before, they definitely are not now. The spouse that didn't get caught now has all eyes on them and they don't know it. Accountability takes many forms.
Glorious. Some may see it as petty, but I see it as you protecting children.
Jokes on you, people don't tell me shit, I only know secrets that could ruin my own life
Also fun fact if you forget your secrets that would also probably ruin your life as well.
Wait what
An IT company I used to work for stored the domain admin credentials for hundreds of client's WSAD/AzureAD tenants on a pastbin document. When I explained how outrageous that was they deleted the file and changed all the passwords.
To the same password.
Which I still know.
And it still works.
EIGHT YEARS LATER.
I'm a financial services professional with access to so much info that could be used for identity theft and other nefarious purposes. I've been doing this forever and still feel weird asking people for their checking account info.
Ex was flamboyantly gay.
The amount of straight men in relationships who will approach gay men for sex is much higher than you think.
Multiple coworkers were in his dms and he probably got propositioned weekly from people who would generally be negative towards gay people.
All it takes is a screenshot and a dm to a spouse.
The shame makes it better.
I mentioned before "spelunking" is something that is common amongst people I know, and some friends once caused a collapse because something overheated, damaging a huge source of pride.
But nobody on Lemmy will connect the dots, right? Right?
After terrorizing me and abusing my kids for over a year, two days before his wedding to his current wife, my ex asked me if I was sure I didn't want to get back together.
