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NonCredibleDefense @sh.itjust.works

PugJesus @lemmy.world

1y ago

The USS Every State In The Country

95 comments

The USS US
- Us sus?
  
  Wow I just realized us makes up us. Crazy how words be sometimes
  
  Always has been 👦 🔫 👩‍🚀
- USS Healthcare for All
  
  so THATS where the budget went

"FIRE ALL PORT SIDE GUNS!"
does barrel roll
- Spins so fast it generates the energy needed to power the entire ship.
  
  The spin creates a tsunami to deliver even more damage.
  
  Try spinning, that's a good trick
- that's why it has a dozen anchors on each side of the hull. proper preparation prevents piss poor projectiling.
  
  And stops your pewpew from making you go plunk.
- That's why navies stopped using broadsides and went to turrets about 150 years ago. Well, it's one of the reasons anyway. Turrets also worked a lot better once you shifted to steam power and didn't have to worry so much about rigging. Additionally, you could mount a much bigger gun on a turret than you could using broadsides on the sides of a wooden sailing ship.
  
  Turrets also prevent what happened to the Vasa, which was the most powerful sailing ship of its time. Its time being 10th August 1626, from 3:40 pm to four o'clock. The king of Sweden ordered it to be made longer, halfway through building it. This scope creep turned out to have negative implications vis-a-vis keeping the gun ports above the waterline.

Just mind the small thermal exhaust port for the reactor
- that's an anus
  
  If someone shoves a proton torpedo up my anus i'd probably blow up as well to be fair
  
  That's America's anus.

Healthcare? 🙅
This? 👀
- They probably have a med bay

So looking at a map.of New Yorks bays and ignoring depth and bridges I'm going to assume this is about 2 miles long or 10,560ft. I have no evidence and just eyeballed it.
Meaning if you can overcome the skin friction it has a hull speed of about 160mph...without planing.
Modern carriers have a hull speed in the neighborhood of 45mph (though officially the top speed is like 35mph) and normally cruise at 25-30mph so the slow pokes can keep up.
- I, too, prefer my measurements in knots uwu
  
  The average person has no reference for what a knot is. I know and you know, but the layman doesn't. Plus I figured anyone that wants knots can figure it pretty quick.
  
  https://youtube.com/watch?v=VYOjWnS4cMY
- Huh, TIL.
  (Illustrated.)
  
  Even with that I still don't get it. Is that a theoretical max speed?

I'm not sure about the quality of the welding near the waterline.
- I mean we don't have an issue with super-super super super super firing turrets with no apron turrets or near main secondaries?

This ship is the entire Fleet-in-Being doctrine.
- It's the new nuclear deterrent. Someone starts acting up and you just rotate the boat slightly in its port to face their direction. The parental angry raised eyebrow of national defense.
  
  Fun trivia for those that didn't notice. The guns ARE facing the city.
- As pioneered by the HMS Don't Make Me Come Over There.

Most of my tax dollars are going towards greebling.
- The mass shortage of model kits is the real tragedy.

- The Emperor protects, battle brothers.

It's the fortress-ship from Iain Bank's "Use of Weapons".
- How's the command chair?
  
  A little pokey around the ribs.
  
  Too soon... 🦴😢
- The scabberrind? I listed to it, so I have no idea how to spell it.
  
  It's the "Staberinde", according to this Stackoverflow discussion. (It's been a while, I had to look up the name.)
- Was thinking exactly this.

Not enough guns, and where are the runways?
- I believe the forward turret fires F35s as ammo

The age of the battleship has returned!

YES MORE DAKKA

The USS Go Fuck Yourself.
- And its sister ships, the Fuck Yeah and the Find Out.
  It's the dream that we all share! It's the hope for tomorrow!
  
  Tended with ammunition and dry cargo by the USNS Win Stupid Prizes.

And the away boats are Guam, Puerto Rico, DC. Et al.
- Nah, the USS Guam is just Guam
  No kinda aircraft carrier like an unsinkable island aircraft carrier!
  
  Maneuverability depends on the spaghetti plot.

The USS AFS (all fifty states)

The new Star-Destroyer class

The USS 'Murica

Although yes, it's ridiculous, I'd really love a higher-resolution version to zoom in on. 😁

*USS Executor has entered the Mediterranean
- USS FAFO

Under total weight I tons, you put “Yes.”
- "Local maximum"

I mean, it's fine, but couldn't it do with more guns?

… I unironically want this, now
- If it's healthcare or this at least have one of them.
  Can't cost more the Zumwalts

Sooo much power! Limitless power! I feel it in my loins! It's like a 50 piece Voltron of freedom!

United States of Smash
- Ah, so we should name it after Perry.
  The USS Dour Motherfucker.
  
  USS "WE'LL MAKE YOU LIKE US"
- ship arrives: "I am here!"

Budget & award contact to the private sector first, figure out credibility of defense later.

Park this animal on the south side of Taiwan with huge banner:
"Also available for tours to the Philippines!"

You may need the energy output of a small star to power it
- Just shoot all guns at the same time.

Ultimate admiral dreadnaughts AI is at it again!

"Temper temper" indeed.

Isn't this from Star Wars?
- The main theme is playing when you look at that ship.

If only there was an active From the Depths community on lemmy to crosspost this too, I'd bet at least someone would have the crazy patience to actually recreate it.

The city surrounding it would probably get inundated by all the water this beast is displacing.

Needs some sexy nose art.

Oh God who let Tillman's ghost out of hell‽

Reminds me of the staberind from Use of Weapons.

95 comments