Everything but the second row because I distract myself from work, can’t nap, have an aversion to wearing “dirty” clothes, don’t cry anymore (thanks childhood), and also feel a compulsive need to shower everyday.
Plus in the shower I can pretend the world doesn’t exist as I destroy my skin because the water is hot enough to melt lead lol
All I know is tonight im hurting the worse it's been in a while. I can't get enough air to fill my lungs. I feel pain in my bones and I feel numb at the same time. There are people around me but I feel alone. Black liquid pulls me under, fills my lungs.
1st row: Yes, Yes, Yes, No (It's not my fault my parents fucked up my brain), Yes
2nd row: No (Tired lol, how do people even become a workaholic?), Yes, Maybe, Yes (But its internal crying, its hard to actually cry with tears because I'm just so numb), OMG I'm in this picture (I kinda just wipe myself with wet paper towels most of the time so doesn't count as a shower)
3rd row: Yes (too many "what ifs" both of past and of futurr events), Yes, Yes (Feels like everyone is an adversary), Most of the time, Yes (so I just cry and watch youtube videos in bed)
4th row: Eh probably no, Yea (I just eat whenever I feel like), Yes, Messages? Don't got friends, Yes (My cat doesn't like me getting too touchy)
5th row: Yes, Yes, Not on medication right now, Yes, Too tired to make a playlist so I just play a song on repeat until I get bored and pick another.
Crying does help, and I'm saying this as an 40ish year old male. Both mentally and physically.
I very rarely do, because I was raised in a home where it wasn't allowed unless you wanted to get punished even more. Later in life it has on occasion helped me immensely.
You should perhaps read up on what exactly happens in our bodies when we do cry, I think you'd be surprised. It's something that we do for a very good reason.
Isn't this just normal daily life?
Yep! Pretty standard