I like to soak hot (non-pressurized) water into my ears, and then let the now-molten earwax flow out once I straighten up.
I also don't own a bidet, so I use the shower telephone to powerwash my asshole. If I happen to fart during that process, well, call it the poor man's enema.
That's why you get a bidet! With a bit more pressure they work like an enema. Just relax, fill up, purge, repeat. It's great to combat mild constipation. Prevents butt slime - when you go and the last bit of poop refuses to come out, then slowly leaks out as you walk around.
There are cheap $20 ones that work fine. That area of your body isn't particularly sensitive to cold water.