IT jobs explained with a broken lightbulb

I’d say I feel seen, but it’s really dark in here.

Who said that?
- [clicks light switch off and on repeatedly]
  Welp, I guess we’re closed for the week.

Product Manager: Make a step by step guide of how they think the lightbulb is going to be fixed without explicitly mentioning the broken lightbulb.

Woah there buddy, you can't just jump straight into the (non-)solution like that! You skipped the planning refinement! And the planning pre-refinement! And the pre-planning pre-refinement! And we'll still discuss all of this in the post-planning refinement!
(Yes, every one of these are real, distinct meetings, lasting at minimum one hour but sometimes two or more. EVERY WEEK. Kill me now please? 🥺)
- And after all that it is discovered that it was the wrong solution all along because the requirements were poorly specified, so the process must be started all over again
- Fuck me am I glad I'm out of the corporate world
And then complain that the light bulb wasn't fixed in the time that a different team projected on the L1 from 3 years ago.
- Exactly. Also, prediction they're referencing from 3 years ago was to build a lemonade stand.

Full stack developer:

The lightbulb is broken. Deploys a lightweight fix that involves 17 metric tons of chandeliers, stadium floodlights, sconces, and the necessary infrastructure to operate the street lights for a city of 500.000. His solution delivers a solid 100 lm of light using only 175 MW of power.

why they are like that :(
- Because JavaScript and its complete absence of a standard library is a horrible abomination that should've been put out of our misery years ago.

Support would be like

User reports lightbulb is broken. Tries to talk user through troubleshooting. Problem resolved by turning on light.

More like:
Use reports lightbulb is broken. Support spends an hour talking user through diagnostic tests. Determines that the lightbulb in question is a houseplant.
User can not find switch. Guided to switch, user said switch operation is too complicated and refused further troubleshooting. Escalated.
- User is very upset. It was a broken bulb last time, so it must be a broken bulb this time. Why can't the help desk make bulbs that don't break? Bulb was fine, user was locking and unlocking the door instead of flipping the light switch.
I wish users would report their problem istead of what they think is the solution. It's more like: Hey support, I need a floorplan of the building containing positions of all electrical wiring. High priority, department is at a complete stop rn!
- I wish users would report their problem istead of what they think is the solution.
  And when they do report the problem, they should report the actual problem they had and not what they think the problem is.
  So instead of eg. "my computer's been hacked!", it's actually "I saw a scary error dialog I didn't understand"

Climate Scientists:

The lightbulb is broken, and there's reason to believe that the ceiling might cave in
Offers advice on how to fix the contacts, or to replace the bulb entirely, or put up struts to support the ceiling in an impassioned plea to the higher ups.
CTO is committed already to candles, CFO wants to wait and see what happens, and CEO labels it as a marketing problem.

I came here to laugh, not to cry!

honestly huge respect to ops

The ops guy drew up multiple plans for a redundant light source and plans to train staff on light bulb replacement protocols, but was overruled by management who found this to be too costly. Maybe next year tho.
- I know so many ops people who are practically functional alcoholics and I'm not surprised at all

I accidentally read the second to last comic as "hands out fleshlights". Would also work.

"by toggl Goon Squad"

SRE:

Receives a slack message that lighbulb is broken
Realizes that they never got an alert when the light went out
Fixes their monitoring thresholds
Routes all broken lightbulb alerts to a slack channel nobody reads

Dwh:

the light bulb is broken.
asks marketing what kind they want, after a week they answer halogen.
dwh then asks backend who says halogen is deprecated, and says only LED is available, due to fire risks.
in the meantime, marketing got tired of waiting, orders a halogen bulb and doesn't tell dwh, and manages to install it, even though it's the wrong socket.
The light flickers and could break any second, but marketing is happy

Today I broke a colleague's app, because I repurposed an unused app registration on azure, or at least I thought it was unused. I thought that would be faster than asking the admins for a new registration on a Friday afternoon. But I forgot that I had used that registration for my colleague 's application.

So when he came complaining that it didn't work, I just told him he had done something wrong and that he should just restart his computer.

Moths: we’ll see ourselves out, there’s ~~greener pastures~~ brighter lightbulbs out there.

Psychologist tries to help lightbulb understand why it is broken and how to fix itself.

Lightbulb refuses to respond to therapy, gives the silent treatment.

Psy goes home without success, falls into severe depression due to fear of never experiencing light again.

...and begins to dance gangnam style

Overall I'd say pretty accurate.