i can't sit with my thoughts alone

I'm in constant fear of being deported.

I've helped my American wife get her medical degree, worked from home, looked after kids and house, and then when she graduated she got a job in the States

as soon as we moved she refused to apply for my greencard and kicked me out.

I'm 100% illegal and undocumented, and if I leave I'll never see my children again. I'm not allowed to work, I'm being my family for money to survive, no access to anything.

being alone with my thoughts is a nightmare. because I'm constantly afraid. she's taking advantage of this by constantly violation the divorce agreement she signed she doesn't let me call the kids when i should. she doesn't tell me of their medical appointments which I have to pay.

still better than living with her, but fuck.