10h ago

Please stop making fun of people for being Virgins. It's tough because I'm a leftist, I love this site, and I work hard to be a good person and practice good praxis, but I'm also 28 and a virgin.

Watching Y'all make fun of people for being virgins or calling people virgins really hurts.

Posting here on an alt because my normal username can be linked to me in real life, but I post here daily. Most of you have probably upvoted my posts at one point or another. But yeah, I'm old, and I'm a virgin, and while it doesn't bother me much anymore, it's really bad praxis to call people virgins as an insult or to make fun of them for being virgins. Incels are bad not because they are virgins but because they just blame women for their cause. Make fun of them for their shitty beliefs, not because they are virgins.

I think for a lot of us we still hold on to the capitalist idea of success that has been handed to us. That we need to have money and a job and a partner and kids and all that to be seen as good. And that's not possible for a lot of us. I know that's not possible for me I've been unemployed for years at this point. So we make fun of them for believing in the system but still not having it. I think it's right when people point out here that the things a lot of the alt-right are mad about are rightful things to be mad about. It's just that they then blame them on the (((globalists))) and muslims and immigrants and SJWs when really it's capitalism and actual rich people.

But seriously, that's all I have to say. Please think before using virgin as an insult. It's just a state of being, that of having not had sex, and every single one of you were a virgin at some point in time. Thanks for reading. I love all y'all anyway.

37 comments

virginity actually refreshes and stacks with bonuses if you know what you're doing. i've got 5 stacked virginities and a 8% bonus to critical strike rate plus 25% crit damage. anyone virgin shaming is clearly just embarrassed they cannot commit to high-level play

Approved post.
I'm nearly twice that age and haven't touched le vaheena.

What was the objective of reposting this old copypasta from r/chapotraphouse? Do you disagree with the sentiment being shared or think the original poster and/or the topic of the post is worthy of ridicule?

Virgin is a state of mind.
- facts. i dont “get pussy”. i AM pussy.
  try calling me a virgin now

28 isn't old

This has long been a bugbear of mine tbh. The discourse is always so incredibly toxic, just reinforcing the same old shaming bullshit. It's always 'maybe if you washed, had better beliefs etc etc, someone would have sex with you' which misses the point entirely.
- I'm asexual and I just think people should do what they want. I think it is actually unfortunate for people who have held toxic views and then are actually unlikable as a person as a result. There's nothing fundamentally wrong with allosexuals not having sex at 25 or 28 or whatever for whatever reason though.

Ah yes, time for my depression to start kicking in yet again, reminding myself that I know full well that the likelyhood of me ever finding anyone that would ever tolerate me may as well be 0%...
- I feel ya mate

You're a virgin?

Thank you for being a model citizen.

Incels are bad not because they are virgins but because they just blame women for their cause. Make fun of them for their shitty beliefs, not because they are virgins.
This was always the spirit of the term as a pejorative. Incel has mostly always been about bashing those you think are inferior in someway shape or form, not really about taking on mysogyny.
Lots of dudes I know who aren’t incelibate, committing real, not imaginary acts of gendered and sexual violence while thought policing is given equal weight to putting these people behind bars.

I know it's a joke post, but it's uinronically so off-putting when people do this.
I used to feel a lot of shame about being a virgin, and ended up rushing into a sexual relationship which I immediately regretted and felt horrible about, which I've realised is an extremely common experience, and kind of an inevitable consequence of virginity being seen as shameful.

op please give me your virginity

I know this is a joke post but I agree. Using virgin as an insult does reinforce toxic ideas of gender and sexuality and contributes to making virgins feel ashamed of themselves.
There are plenty of reasons why people stay virgin. Some do it by choice, some have issues preventing them from being sexually active. Neither deserves derision.
I once belonged to the last category due to mental health stuff. It sucked not being able to form that kind of relationships to other people and the toxic idea of virginity being shameful made it suck even more.

the assumption behind using virgin as an insult is that having sex makes you a likeable person. anyone can have sex. terrible people frequently have sex
- My formative sexual experiences have been so awkward and spiritually unfulfilling that you should have looked down on me for losing my virginity more than when I was a virgin. It's neato-burrito to fuck, it's a tool for bonding with a partner, but I'd never boast about it. It's not an achievement, it's not redefining anything, and it's not cool.
  In fact, it wreaks havoc on my nerves because it's a risk and trust thing. I spend time worrying that I'm not being adventurous enough, caring about their pleasure enough, that I have enough energy, and I make enough eye contact. I have a sinus infection right now and I'm anxious about whether they're going to be disappointed that I'm not able to put out this weekend (which I talk with them about).
  When I was single, it transformed from looking at someone and thinking it would be cool to have them as a sexual partner to wondering if it would they would be worth the trouble of a sexual relationship because they're cool enough otherwise.
  Virgin is 100x better than imposing yourself on someone when you're not ready to communicate well. That sentiment, while non-sequitur to the rest of the post, lies at the heart of what I think.
- Large percent of femicides is by intimate partners.
  
  Isn’t this true for mascs too? I’m pretty sure literally every demographic the most likely person to murder you is an intimate partner
- Yeah the fact you have sex doesn't really say anything about you other than the fact that you are physically able to, and to a point that you're allosexual. Congrats I guess?

There are Hexbears making fun of people for being virgins? We have an entire ace community here, that seems really odd.
- this is a infamous copypasta from the old ChapoTrapHouse subreddit not a serious post
  
  I knew it and it wasn't enough to stop me from posting. I just like to post
  
  for me I guess...
  
  Oh goddamnit, I missed that. Thanks.
- I think this may be a copypasta

I don't think people should be insulted for being virgins as there is nothing wrong with being one.
What I do think a lot of straight cis dudes need to realise is that obsession with constantly talking about virginity is off-putting for a lot of people. Particularly people who have been victims of sexual assault.
- No hymen no diamond is still a thing. I shit you not.
- Yeah the latter part ought to be highlighted. Being a virgin or not doesn’t fundamentally change you in anyway. No there is no donut style anatomy thing. You can’t tell by looking and you can’t tell in average conversation.

Shaming and insulting virgins at an influential age especially can make them feel isolated and join the misogynistic chud cult and it is just a crab bucket that will try to increase their numbers by making virgins look dangerous and unlikeable and they peddle hopelessness with their "black pill" and eugenics and call themselves removed and advocate fascist ideas and suicide. Using virgin as an insult is a pretty bad idea imo. Being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of

I've not said this on Hexbear but I'm guilty of having called someone this before eleswhere at least once but I sincerely do not care if you are or are not a virgin though. I don't know what the allure of it as an insult is to me.
Edit: Yeah not guilty. Just searched my name to check, not said it here. I don't know what has pulled me towards using it though. Maybe specific context? Still can't figure out why, it's pretty weak. Who cares whether someone is a sex haver or not?

This isn't some intrinsic unchanging quality in a person. There's plenty of perfectly fine and valid reasons to stay a virgin, and if you are those, I don't see why you would be offended.
- As much as I think it's good advice to just try to let this particular insult roll off your back, I think people who have been sexually active for a long time underestimate the sort of shame that people who haven't can be made to feel.
- it is not right to use virgin as an insult..

Yeah, many online communities do suffer from a bit of a sex-centric culture imo. It's part of the fun, even for people like me who are not really into sex. But it can be a valuable exercise to try giving it a more diverse and accepting twist; think not only of the people who might be offended, but also of those who would gladly have had an order of magnitude less sex if they'd just been told it was okay.

37 comments