Im adrift in a sea of confusion, has anyone experienced this
Im adrift in a sea of confusion, has anyone experienced this
To preface this, I believe I’m white facing, but I honestly have no idea to parse this. To preface this, I’m American. On my mom’s side of the family, my great grandfather was Chinese and my great grandmother was the children of people who were slaves. This is the extend of my geneologic knowledge.
I essentially have no knowledge of my family. As a result, when I tell people that my family is from China or from slave lineage, I got called slurs as a child, even as a white person. I constantly had to balance my privileged existence as a white-existing person with the reality of a predominantly large portion of my family. Im not trying to propose any unique “multiracial” experience that exists outside of the bounds of race. I’m just simply asking if anyone has experienced the same? Im sorry if this is wreckerjacketed unintentionally, it’s just something I cannot talk about with libs. I ask this somewhat assuredly, knowing that someone has experienced this
Passing complexion is a hell of a thing.
If I get a lot of Sun in the summer white people noticably treat me differently, but I am otherwise white coded. I dunno how to feel about it?
I knew someone who was Italian up and down, but when she tanned in summer she was subjected to racial abuse by people who thought she was Mexican. Racism is weird.
I sometimes talk about how I partly excised my Japanese heritage (working class) because of racist bullying at school (Australia in the 90s) in favour of the my British heritage (aristo-bourgeois-slave-owner). Not white passing except maybe on the phone or through text. I don't think it worked at all, but I also don't blame my 6 year old self for making that decision. Japan obviously has its own colonial legacy too, though my family only benefited from it tangentially being workers in suburban Tokyo. They did own their own house.
But then even looking at those two, I do have immense privilege alongside a lot of trauma and bigotry. It obviously colours my experiences going forward.
Also just be clear im not posting this because of some “settler retribution” shit. Colonizers deserve everything that they beg for through actions.