6h ago

More Chinese leave the knot untied as marriage registrations drop

www.bangkokpost.com

"The real barrier is the soaring cost of marriage and child-rearing. Many young people simply can't afford to get married. To truly raise marriage rates, the government needs to lower these economic burdens."

21 comments

It's the wrong approach. Earth is in a gross state of ecological overshoot. We should be embracing the demographic decline that will bring our populations and consumption back in line with earths resources.
A shrinking society due to aging is far prefereable than one due to resource exhaustion, deprivation and conflict.
Embrace a smaller population and a bigger world.
- And this is where unregulated capitalism and the constant craze for GROWTH GROWTH GROWTH comes into the picture. With a failing demographic AND an aging society, economic collapse is inevitable. I mean, it could be just a long, smooth slope in theory, but not with this dystopian economic system where you have already spent the money you're getting back in 10 years' time, with the greedy shareholders dictating everything.
  I mean, these demographic changes will happen regardless, but the effects of currently having such a flawed and short sighted system will be painfully drastic.
- The issue is that under our current economic model consumption always has increase because revenue and growth for businesses is essential and CEOs are mandated by law to increase shareholder value as much as possible. While the number of people will and is decreasing, the ammount each individual will consume will have to rise so much as to increase overall despite the smaller number of consumers.
  That, or the system, as it currently stands, will collapse - degrowth means recession and our society isn't built to embrace recession yet.
  
  CEOs are mandated by law to increase shareholder value as much as possible
  One slight correction, this applies to publicly traded companies that appear on stock markets, yes. This isn't a requirement in privately held companies.
  
  our society isn't built to embrace recession yet.
  Our society isn't built to survive either.
  
  Humans will never be able to embrace each other. We only embrace money and power. There should be no “economy” or “borders.” But that isn’t how human brains work. We can have small pockets of this way of thinking, but it always gets destroyed.
- All that means is extinction right now.
  It's the poorer classes that understand how to live in the world, but they'll be the ones to die with the rich clueless gentry inheriting an earth they can ever live in.

I have never seen a relationship that was better in marriage than dating, regardless of the timeline.
- I got one anecdote but most I've observed fall under yours.
- Theres a few pretty critical things you get with marriage that you simply can't with long term committed dating (in the USA at least). Such as:
  being the legal authority over health decisions for your incapacitated partner
  smooth transfer of assets upon death of one partner to the other
  legal protection from one partner being compelled to testify against the other
  certain insurance benefits only apply to married partners
  You can get some of these things or versions of them with complicated legal instruments like Medical PoA and trusts, but many times they are a pale imitation and some things simply have no replacement. If you've decided to make your life with your partner these are important.
  
  The fact that many laws are written to favor one form of relationship is just another data point that suggests that that form of relationship needed extra incentives for people to even consider it.
  Also, in a sensible legal system I could name e.g. a doctor who is a personal friend as the one who makes health decisions for me even if they are not my romantic partner.

Of course experiences differ from person to person, culture to culture, and between different circumstances. But in my experience...
Have a brother-in-law who married my SO's older sister many years before we even met. Had 3 children together. Out of nowhere he decided to run away and live with another woman, then got back, decided "people felt different" and left again, only to again try to return and be denied by my sister-in-law. They were the favorites of my mother-in-law until the separation.
Have another BIL, married my SO's younger sister. 2 kids together, just months ago he threatened to leave to a younger woman (a friend of his younger sister). He was the only one to sympathize and side with the first BIL, guess why. Might still run away, because he clearly is only there for convenience.
Me and my SO, not married, 13 years together through thick and thin, we never saw any real point to it since we always built our relationship based in trust and mutual understanding. Still going strong and any time we have issues we face them together. Now my MIL tends to favor us over the other 'couples', now "marriage doesn't guarantee anything after all", not that I personally care about that.
The point being. Marry if you want, but never feel forced to do it. If you need a fancy piece of paper by the government or religion to stay together then it's nothing more than a self-imposed cage, and it's far from a guarantee against infidelity.
You only have this one single life. Live happily, don't try to please everyone against your own happiness. Everyone will still be unpleased, and you'll only get increasingly miserable.
- Off topic to this but in my case I and my SO lived together but my family didn't accepted her before marriage.
  Married since a year and my family is now surprisingly treating her very well.
- I deeply respect anyone who chooses any alternative to monogamy, but y'all have no idea how stoked I am that I get to call my partner "wife."
  It's totally fair to be as vanilla as an unsalted cracker if that's what you feel! The 'Q' part of LGBTQIA is super duper important, as how can you be sure you're straight without ever asking?

Fuck religious ceremonies.

21 comments