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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns @hexbear.net
Eco [she/her, he/him] @hexbear.net

The Great Jelly Bean Harvest - Trans Megathread from 2025-04-21 to 2025-04-27

i'm harvesting a great crop of jelly beans today

it's my birthday this week and you have to post a lot okay? :^)

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272 comments

  • I have so much respect for people who are out because that is so scary to me. I love and admire people who's presentation is audacious and challenges your views. I love trans people who do not "pass" and are happy about it, because they have so much confidence in their identity. I feel so afraid to be visibly queer, visibly different. I've never come out about my gender irl, and very few people know about my sexuality.

    • There are people who as soon as their egg cracks they are out and proud and idk how they do it

      • At some point i just couldn't bear boymoding any longer, it was a fucking nightmare. I honestly don't get how people who live in a just averagely transphobic area can stay closeted once they've cracked for real. Like, on an abstract level, i get it, i get when people want to at least get rid of the 5 o' clock shadown first n stuff, avoiding the hypervisibility and all that, i'm also absolutely not judging anybody, but i honestly do not understand on an emotional level how so many transfems can stand letting literally everybody misgender them every single day. At some point that made me just snap, i had to come out because i was tired of screaming internally.

        • I mean it absolutely turned me into a recluse.
          Like you said tho, I kind of wanted to have things sorted first with hormones and presentation, etc.
          To me the idea of saying β€œhello, world. I’m a woman” when your presentation is still very male caused/causes me a lot of psychic damage and dsyohoria.

      • i can either be an out and open, clocky as fuck trans woman

        or i can be a very sad awkward "man"

        i'd much rather be pretty and passing, but I don't have that option yet. maybe i'll never get it. oh well. but given those two option, why on earth would i pick the second?

        • I guess I’ve come at this from being a kind of cigarette-y boy, so I partially had an outlet for my femininity and never really felt like a man.

          So that status quo was more comfortable to me than claiming womanhood for myself when I felt like the world wouldn’t see me as one (or I myself fully)

      • It depends on their particular family/social/work/societal circumstances, I think. If you know everyone in your life will be supportive and the society you live in is moving in the right direction, there's really no reason to hide it. I totally understand people living in reactionary countries/regions being terrified of coming out. Conversely, if you grew up in a big city with out visibly trans people walking around, it probably won't seem like a big deal.

    • Felt exactly the same when my egg cracked. Took me almost a year to finally tell someone else, and even then I only did it because I was forced to.

      But what I’ve learned over the years of being stuck in the closet and being gatekept forever was that it doesn’t matter how scared you are. What matters is how strong your desire to be yourself is.

      I’m still very self-conscious and it’s still scary to go outside and make myself vulnerable. But I nonetheless do it because I just cannot bear to hide my existence any longer. I don’t want to go back to feeling suffocated by living a lie.

      And I guess this strong desire just kind of overrides my anxiety and pushes me forward. So even though a lot of people have told me that I’m brave for being so open about myself, in reality I’m still as scared as you are. It’s just that I have no other choice.

272 comments