Skip Navigation
traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns @hexbear.net
Eco [she/her, he/him] @hexbear.net

The Great Jelly Bean Harvest - Trans Megathread from 2025-04-21 to 2025-04-27

i'm harvesting a great crop of jelly beans today

it's my birthday this week and you have to post a lot okay? :^)

Join our public Matrix server!

https://matrix.to//#/tracha-space:transfem.dev

https://rentry.co/tracha#tracha-rooms

As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.

Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.

Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.

___

176 comments

  • I gotta buy a car. I fuckin hate going in there to that den of thieves and vipers and grifters, do the whole fucking show and dance, waste 4 hours or more on bullshit only to be given a quote that's just gonna rip me off, pretend the salesman has to beg for a better deal with a manager, only to have them come back with another bull shit offer and then just walk the fuck away from this stupid fucking bull shit without a car but at least not ripped off

  • Playing make believe every night with my plushies, I'm the captain and their my crew but instead of a ship at sea it's a train since I rather not convince myself again I got sea sickness.

  • I read a lot of hexbears yearning posts and I feel for you all, for sure, I get it's lonely. I've been single for 2 years and I just don't feel like it's a bad fate to be single. I had my great love story and it ended how it did, I feel like I'm set and good for life. I remember the feeling though: wishing I had someone close, who I could trust, who loved me, who was there when I was sad or down, feeling so so alone and desperate. I just personally haven't felt it in a loooong time

  • I'm so tired of the doubt... Most of the time it comes by way of other people who are trying in earnest to make sure I'm okay, like my supervisor/mentor today. And it wasn't like denying my identity or anything, just concern that I may be putting femininity on a pedestal and straying a little too far towards self-annihilation instead of self-discovery.

    When I talk with people like that who are less affirming the doubt increases and I feel worse. I want it to be true, I want to truly want to be a girl, but what that's just because I'd like an easy way to escape what I currently am?

    • why do they think you are putting femininity on a pedestal? (and why is that bad?)

      • The convo started talking about the shame I feel while stuck as a guy because of how it differentiates me from women and the fact that as long as I look/am perceived this way some people will always, always see me as a threat in a way I can never allay. Since femininity isn't entangled with that I view it as better.

        I don't see it as too much of a problem myself, but I guess the worry is that I'm pursuing femininity as a reaction to masculinity (or how it's perceived) rather than in it's own merit

  • Taking the Wariopill, gonna be waa-ing, gonna be eating more raw garlic, gonna be throwing around people like ragdolls, gonna be making my friends help me make games. Once I get this going gonna be taking over the manosphere

  • I have so much respect for people who are out because that is so scary to me. I love and admire people who's presentation is audacious and challenges your views. I love trans people who do not "pass" and are happy about it, because they have so much confidence in their identity. I feel so afraid to be visibly queer, visibly different. I've never come out about my gender irl, and very few people know about my sexuality.

    • Felt exactly the same when my egg cracked. Took me almost a year to finally tell someone else, and even then I only did it because I was forced to.

      But what Iā€™ve learned over the years of being stuck in the closet and being gatekept forever was that it doesnā€™t matter how scared you are. What matters is how strong your desire to be yourself is.

      Iā€™m still very self-conscious and itā€™s still scary to go outside and make myself vulnerable. But I nonetheless do it because I just cannot bear to hide my existence any longer. I donā€™t want to go back to feeling suffocated by living a lie.

      And I guess this strong desire just kind of overrides my anxiety and pushes me forward. So even though a lot of people have told me that Iā€™m brave for being so open about myself, in reality Iā€™m still as scared as you are. Itā€™s just that I have no other choice.

    • There are people who as soon as their egg cracks they are out and proud and idk how they do it

      • At some point i just couldn't bear boymoding any longer, it was a fucking nightmare. I honestly don't get how people who live in a just averagely transphobic area can stay closeted once they've cracked for real. Like, on an abstract level, i get it, i get when people want to at least get rid of the 5 o' clock shadown first n stuff, avoiding the hypervisibility and all that, i'm also absolutely not judging anybody, but i honestly do not understand on an emotional level how so many transfems can stand letting literally everybody misgender them every single day. At some point that made me just snap, i had to come out because i was tired of screaming internally.

      • i can either be an out and open, clocky as fuck trans woman

        or i can be a very sad awkward "man"

        i'd much rather be pretty and passing, but I don't have that option yet. maybe i'll never get it. oh well. but given those two option, why on earth would i pick the second?

      • It depends on their particular family/social/work/societal circumstances, I think. If you know everyone in your life will be supportive and the society you live in is moving in the right direction, there's really no reason to hide it. I totally understand people living in reactionary countries/regions being terrified of coming out. Conversely, if you grew up in a big city with out visibly trans people walking around, it probably won't seem like a big deal.

  • I have a paper due in 1 weeks time. I keep telling myself, FINISH THE FUGGING PAPER THEN YOUR DEGREE IS PRACTICALLY DONE. YOU CAN SPEND THE REMAINING TIME CHILLING AND GIRLIFYING.

    But still, the bed is so much warmer than my study desk.

  • Super

    racing is an amazing song for HIIT, it has it lulls to rest but you hear "everybody super
    racing, try to keep your feet right the ground" you give it all you got. Keep this on loop and you too can become a super
    racer

176 comments