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  • Something I struggle with is exactly this - of knowing that something greater than the sum can be built with a community, and that trusting in a community can lead to things unexpectedly greater than any single unit can make or design on their own - at the same time, I deeply value my independence and wanting to create my own expression and implementation of things outside of the input of others.

    I am complex enough to hold both of those ideas at the same time, but still, I want my multi acre hermit cottage inside of a thriving community and that feels impossible.

    Both a deep want to participate and contribute to the community- and to be independent and have access to solitude

    I don't know how to connect the two yet, and I don't want to chose one while forsaking the other.

    • I would start with questioning if that feeling is really individuality and self-expression, or rather a fear of not being in control. All too often it is the latter, especially with artists and people of similar "individualistic" mindsets (and "nest builders"). This very common toxic mindset is also problematic inside communities when a sub-group bands together to push their specific ideas and expects others to submitt to them.

      • I don't think it is a fear of not being in control at all. It's a desire to learn and develop competencies in more than a single aspect of life. This is also how you create subject matter experts that can challenge the sub-groups you mention to find and develop improvements in whatever the relevant niche is.

      • I'll reflect on this more over time, but right now however the hermit want I think stems from three things:

        1: sometimes I do not want to be observed - I want to be loud and dance silly and be messy or more generically just be in a state that does not match how I want to present myself, and equally I do not want my loudness, silliness, messiness, etc to impact or inconvinence others even if they're too kind/tolerant to complain

        2: I derive a lot of joy from learning and doing - be that replacing a toilet, raising chickens and eggs, creating a trail, cutting lumber and building a desk etc - and these activities are more complicated as part of a community and requires a level of communication and coordination that is hard for me

        3: I want control to do things the way I think they should be done, and not have to submit to others that have power to overrule me within my dominion - I don't mind yielding control and power in community spaces so long as I have the option to then exert that lost control within my dominion - say I'd like a koi pond, ideally I can convince the community to work together to make a koi pond, in the event the community does not wish a koi pond, I can create one within my dominion if I'm so inclined - likewise say the community does not want to maintain safe drinking water in a bid to lower community costs, I want the ability to create my own safe drinking water

        Of course ideally all the members of the community, myself included, are aligned in the important things and willing to let accommodate individuality like in my examples - but when they don't, and I think the reality is that for many things they won't - is where the hermit cottage is valuable

        I would like to live in a community where it was essentially a main street and a small urban area for the trades and business workers and surrounded by many cottages that support and contribute to those businesses and vice versa

        I feel like I have a lot to offer to my community, and I have contributed in the past to my neighborhood and participate in events and meetings and projects - but still, I cannot play my music very loud, I cannot raise chickens or bees, I cannot go outside and feel alone without traveling for hours to a state forest, I cannot fix the broken street lamp outside my door on the sidewalk despite reporting it 5 months ago, etc

        I'm thinking out loud - and happy for any input you have, and maybe I'm missing something you already know

      • I'm like the person you're replying to, and for me it's very much just introversion and autism, plus a lot of complex trauma about my body and life being controlled by others.

  • Step 1 Cottagecore Step 2 grow three sisters for the food pantry.. Step 3 invite people over to help with garden Step 4 Build Community Step 5 Make sure community can survive without you Step 6 Wait a long time Step 7 Solarpunk?

    I think this is how it works

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