AITA for being sick of looking after my grandma

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Cupofcinnamoncat on 2023-07-27 16:32:49+00:00.

Some context: my grandma (89) on my dad's side has been living with us for about three years since she got too old to live alone. My dad is a trained caretaker so we didn't think there would be any issues. There's always been some tension between her and him but recently it has gotten so much worse. Since she started having dementia, the two of them argue every single day and it always ends with one of them crying. My dad is upset because seeing his mother like this is painful and he doesn't know what to do anymore and my grandma is just generally always upset. It's not easy to see them both like this all the time. My mom can't help that much since there is a language barrier between her and my grandma but she adds to the tension by randomly taking sides during fights. There's just always underlying tension at home.

I'm home from uni at the moment so I'm home when my parents are at work to be there for grandma. Recently she's been needing way more help with everything like getting up from the couch and lying down and adjusting her underwear, making her food, reminding her to take her meds. Doesn't sound like much but I'm just so tired of always having to be available for her. When I even just take a shower she will start calling me and being upset that I was gone. When I take longer than a moment to help her lie down she starts calling and telling me she's waiting. Basically she's gotten very demanding and complains all the time. (I'm sure that's normal at her age and with multiple painful conditions but it's just so draining) I'm also scared that one day when I'm with her she'll fall or forget where she is (which keeps happening) and I just won't know what to do. I know she's my grandma but with how the mood is at home and how she's bossing me around a lot...I just wish she could live in a care home.

I feel so bad for thinking this negatively about her and I know she wants to live at home but her staying with us is not doing any good anymore.

My dad is overwhelmed, my mom is exhausted, my grandma is unhappy and I'm so tired of the responsibility.

Maybe this makes me a bad grandchild but idk.

I feel like the solution is obvious so I'm not sure why I'm posting this but i needed to talk about it.