4d ago

Where can I find positive online spaces?

Hey everyone, I'm a 21 year old Gen-Z guy and I was wondering if there are any good positive spaces online to socialize.

Because I'm pretty lonely and I feel like the majority of internet places is negative, hateful and racist and as a sensitive person that really worsens my depression.

I tried social apps like Clubhouse and Discord but I feel like most people there are very weird and negative. I wonder how is it that most of the internet is like that. Does that actually make these people happy? For me I noticed that there are people with good/positive energy that make me motivated and people with negative energy that take away my energy and motivation. But maybe I'm the only one feeling like this?

I wonder if there are any online spaces or chatrooms that are positive and have good vibes preferably with more people around my age.

30 comments

TLDR: People are nicer outside in person.
Positivity is a muscle. Exercise it internally. Have a kinder more upbeat inner monologue.
Learn the peace of being alone. Remember that comparison is the theif of joy. Focus on finding a rewarding hobby. Seek that hobby out in the meatspace. You'll find people to be more positive and kind face to face. Anonymous communities enable trolls and doomers.
I started with walking around my neighborhood. Got a dog from the pound. Went to the dog park, struck up conversations and found some people were talking about a show I liked. Through friends of friends I'm now more connected to my neighborhood and helping around our community garden. Not saying that will work for you, but people are pretty forgiving of an eaves dropper at places like the dog park or in line at the grocers.
- This is the real answer here. For me it was joining a local game club. It got me out of the house and hanging out with people in person which was a huge imporvement on things

Tbh, I'd just go outside. The local library or maybe a bar, both good third places. If you're at all religious, volunteer at church. There should be a hiking group or book club, or a ton of other things. Plenty of options.

I don't think you're old enough to remember Neopets, but the Neopets community is the most wholesome, friendly, accepting, and generous forum I've ever been a part of. It's on reddit, but is the only reddit community I'm a part of. The website is still fully functional with all the original 2000/2010s elements and its my happy place.

Internet people's favorite thing to do is complain, so get off the internet and go join a club or a social group. Otherwise you'll be forever doom scrolling through bad news and comments complaining about it.
- I mean, people complain in real life too.
  
  Sure but socially competent people don't dominate a conversation with complaints, it bums everyone out. And meeting in real life means these are people who you'd have a high chance of running into again, so folks tend to behave better.
  People online pick up others' complaints, then parrot them into every other relevant thread to farm internet points.

!dull_mens_club@lemmy.world !dullsters@dullsters.net

Maybe beehaw.org?

The advice to socialize offline is good and well meaning, but it's also not what you're asking.
I've found a lot of very positive communities through smaller Twitch streams. I mean like under 50 average viewers tops, usually quite a bit smaller than even that. It's easy if you like gaming, but there are channels for everything. The nice thing is you can just drop into a channel and lurk for a while to get the vibe, then leave if it's not the kind of energy you're looking for.
There are plenty of downsides. Even if it goes well, most of the people you meet will be far away. Parasocial relationships are something to be aware of to make sure you don't fall into that trap, especially if you're lonely. Also, there's good and bad like anywhere else. But, it's also common to hear people in these spaces express gratitude for the support and friendship they've found there that exceeded their expectations.
I don't want to undersell or oversell it, really. It's an option that's easy to try and might work, but be careful like with anything. Making an effort to get out more is good, too, whenever time and energy permit. I don't think offline and online spaces can replace each other - they each excel at different things. I hope you find your community. Or several.

Go talk to real people. Then have them share thru mastodon. Form a community. Join one around things that interest you. If you're looking for a girlfriend, go to a university during lunch time and help them with their books. There's also speed dating.

The problem with online spaces are that they're spaces. They're usually around a topic, and people disagree and argue about topics.
IRL is about people. You get to know them, they get to know you. Unless the person is particularly annoying, they won't be negative.
My point is, get out and do something fun. You'll meet people and it won't be negative.
- That's an interesting way of putting it, I like it.

Honestly, dont socialize in front of a computer. There is nothing social about writing comments to random aliases on the internet.
If you actually want to feel good and build real social skills, you need to go outside and do something with other people. This is not social media, there is nothing social about it.
Use this stuff for having fun, writing comments, get upvotes, whatever. But its not social to sit and write messages on a phone.

I wish there were a positive instance that had strict moderation. It would be cool to have a place where you can actually turn off for a while and not see anything negative. It could be named wholeso.me or something.

VRChat saved my sanity during COVID. The public worlds can be a shitshow but you find some cool people and hang with them away from the lunatics. There are also Chill worlds which tend to stay mellow but less social. May be a good start while you figure things out.

This is a pretty specific recommendation that might not apply to your situation, but if you're into gaming (at any level), I highly recommend No Man's Sky and its communities on reddit and Lemmy. The people there are the most welcoming and friendly I've ever encountered in the context of gaming, and finding new friends to co-op with is easy. From there, you can get to know people more and chat in non-gaming contexts.

No clue... But good luck! LMK if you find a safehaven!

!lemmybewholesome@lemmy.world

Lemmy.Blahaj.Zone (since it has downvotes disabled) and being mindful of the communities I subscribe to really helps.
On lemmy.world you won’t see beehaw communities which are much chiller. blahaj lets you see beehaw communities.
- Why can you not see them from world?
  
  To add to what InEnduringGrowStrong@sh.itjust.works@sh.itjust.works said, Beehaw has much more strict standards for behavior than Lemmy.World or sh.itjust.works that both prioritize free speech more (the former from a kind of centrist perspective). It's not that either of those two instances are "bad" per se, just that they are enormous in size and the Beehaw moderation team felt that they could not keep up.
  Beehaw has much less content overall though. But it is worth looking at if you are hoping for a nicer place on the internet.
  Also for people who live in West Virginia, USA, consider dubvee.org, which uses the alternative Lemmy UI "Tesseract". The admin AdmiralPatrick puts in a ton of effort trying to keep toxic people out, and is a fairly chill dude himself:-).😎
  
  Beehaw defederated from many instances (but not all) sometime > 1 year ago
- Sure but all the misandry...
  
  Misandry? I’m a man and feel fine on Blahaj.
  A lot of people on blahaj are feminine men, or transfem, that may make you feel uncomfortable if you’re an old school “men will be men” patriarchal type person, but generally it’s a great crowd to be surrounded by.
  I’ve seen far more misogyny on LW than misandry anywhere on lemmy.

Totally agree! People can be so negative online. When you find a place you like don't feel bad for staying there most of the time :) you gotta protect your peace! ❤️

Discord can be full of nice people. It all depends on what kind of community you join.

30 comments