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NonCredibleDefense @sh.itjust.works

LOCKMART @sh.itjust.works

4d ago

I think the Krokodil has expired, these demands are literally impossible

67 comments

Stupid you are, rule should you not

So, it's pretty clear Russia plans to invade other neighbors, right?
- Happy Cake Daaay!
  
  Well, would you look at that. I need to make an appropriately degenerate meme to post.
- 2009, 2014, 2022.
  
  2009
  Thank you for mentioning this. I didn't take notice at the time (a bit too young still) and never properly read up on their invasion of Georgia.
- It's a pretty safe bet.
- Oh yeah, it's the county clerk's office and they're the Blues Brothers.
- Given how this one's going, that doesn't seem like a great plan.
  
  Yes, the terror of nuclear annihilation will be significantly tempered by the hilarity if he tries taking on Europe.
  Okay, that sounds sarcastic, but I think I actually mean it. He will get rekt and it will be satisfying. Then I'll turn to figuring out nuclear winter in fucking Canada.
- Do not confuse Russia with Putin and his regime. This. Is. Important.
  
  I'm not convinced it's that important since the Russian people will be the ones affecting the invasion. Dramatic punctuation doesn't change the fact that Putin has been in continuous control of Russia for decades. He's their guy. I think the American public is complicit in genocide of Palestinians. Why would the Russian public get a pass for the misdeads of their government?

Seems like reasonable demand
Of course, for fairness sake that would also mean no Russian troops in any russian countries bordering the West
- And that Ukraine would be allowed to determine the size of the Russian army of course
- He is trying. Just needs a bigger grinder to feed them all into.

Don't want NATO to be on your border? Simple: Just give independence to bordering Oblasts
- Even if they did Russia wouldn't be able to resist constantly antagonizing them to the point that they seek NATO membership. Thats what "NATO expansionism" is.

Of course, his demands are impossible. That way, he can just point to everyone else and say “see? They’re prolonging the war!“
I really wish people would stop, acting shocked and surprised when Putin and Trump do shit like this. We have known, for decades, that both of them are insane monsters. Do something!
- Trump might be insane but Putin is far from it. He’s been locked in a battle for the survival of his regime (and by extension his life) for decades. He’s extremely savvy at playing the political game in Russia.
  Trump basically shoots from the hip all the time and thinks only his relationships with people and his deal-making matter. He’s a sitting duck for a manipulator like Putin.
- That way, he can just point to everyone else and say “see? They’re prolonging the war!“
  Luckily this only works for two year iods and the dumbest motherfuckers on the planet.
  Which is who is in charge of a lot of places, but you'd think normal people would never listen for a second.
- Eh, the rest of the Western world is slowly getting there.

So Russia wants vassal states of everyone on their border. Just fucking try it with Finland. Go on, it will be funny.
- Or Poland
- I'd be more worried about the Poles.
  
  All the Eastern Europeans know that Russia is not to be trusted. There is a reason all of them pushed so hard to join NATO.

Russia is not a serious country. The demands are essentially a shitpost. It's one of the most delusional things I've seen in a while.

What are demands 1-6?
- Ooh ooh ah ah!
  flailing arms wildly
  🐵💨💩

so, NATO's surrender then.. as a condition of a cease-fire with Ukraine.. which isn't a NATO member.. which Putin invaded ostensibly to prevent it from joining NATO. right...
sure, I think we can do that. no Western troops, no problem! we'll just give them each a few dozen hydrogen bombs, and call it even.
- A few dozen hydrogen bombs each? Sir, this is Europe! We won’t have such uncivilised weapons that could be used for discriminatory purposes in our beautiful continent.
  No, the only solution is for every country in the EU, NATO, or bordering Russia to be equipped with a Project Sundial device. It’s the only way to preserve European unity.
  
  If built and detonated, Sundial would have created a fireball up to 50 kilometers (30 miles) in diameter, instantly igniting everything within 400 kilometers (250 miles) and causing a magnitude 9 earthquake. It was thought that the explosion would lead to an apocalyptic nuclear winter, drastically lowering global temperatures and contaminating water sources, resulting in mass fatalities.
  If detonated at an altitude of 28 miles (45 km) the Sundial device could ignite fires across an area the size of France.
  The fuck is wrong with us?

Can someone link me their demands? I'm failing to find an article that properly explains them

67 comments