How many eggs for that tessera?

Everything's computer!

This looks like an SNL sketch. People keep expressing sympathy for the onion writers, but really, how does one even parody this? Just shot for shot, word for word something a satirist would come up with.
- 50 years ago, the president advertising a product probably would have lead to investigations
  Now it barely makes the evening news.
  
  Heck, no need to go back 50 years. If Biden did it there'd be backlash. Trump was right about being able to shoot someone and not losing supporters.
  
  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Checkers_speech
  It did, but he got the VP nom anyway. And he went on to fundamentally reshape the Republican Party over the next twenty five years.
- This is basically what killed South Park in 2016. Trump became president and you can't even parody that, because You can't think of anything more absurd. Except maybe electing him for a second time.
- Honestly, every time I see an SNL skit recently that mimics one of the latest events I keep saying this is sad because as crazy as they get, I feel like the real event was so much crazier. The skits just make me sad because I'm just being reminded of how fucked we are.
- I figure The Onion just has to full on go the opposite direction.
  -Trump Returns Funds to Ukraine: Turns Back on Russia.
  -Functioning Government Returns to the United States
  -Democrats Embrace The Left
  Headlines no one could believe and stories about things basically working like they should.
- Reporting trump doing nice things for liberals is how they should approach it. IMO.
- This looks like an SNL sketch.
  Ohh, I kept waiting for something funny to happen, but now I get it - it won't.
  \ :D
- SNL have been getting alot it lately with all the material they are getting from trump admin.

It's not like it's a surprise. Remember how he did a photoshoot with a can of beans, because the owner of the brand said he liked him?
- Stopped eating Goya products because of this.
  
  Same. Haven't bought anything Goya since. Once i looked into them it was clear i probably should have stopped long before they endorsed trump but better late than never
  
  our bougie grocery chain stopped carrying this after he did this.
- No. What?

Americans electing a used car dealer to the Presidency is, frankly, the fate we deserved.
- Heh, Trump reeks of used car salesman energy.
  
  Well, yeah. Remember the string of bankruptcies and unpaid workers who he stiffed?
- He seriously was being a car salesman. A photographer got a shot of his taking points.

Why isn't Elon wearing a suit?
- He will wear the costume when his war against democracy is over.

Literal used car salesman as president. 🤦‍♂️
- Do you mean a salesman selling used cars, or a used salesman selling cars? :P
  
  Yes.

They literally just notified 32% of the Department of Education last night that they were being fired.
Fuck these assholes and anyone who voted for them can fucking drop dead.
- i mean, who needs Education anyways? in the future, when machines take all the jobs, there's no point in having an educated workforce. so better cut down on that money that schools are spending today. (/s)
  
  I can't wait until the ultimate karma when they try and actually replace everyone with AI and it all fucks up. Everyone who is ever tried to do that is always ended up in trouble.

Do these idiots not realize that it's Tesla's association with nazis that's killing sales? How did they think this was going to help, Republicans are suddenly going to start buying electric vehicles?
- Yes. That was the goal, the God-King ordering the masses to buy Tesla.
  
  Personally I don't see the countryside maga folk buying EVs.
  
  Honestly they may just ignore this one, as much as I hate it there's a decent bit of overlap between the car community as a whole and MAGAts. Though it's also possible they could interpret it as "get electric cars" at which point we may see more EV converts which I would love. The mere concept of an electric 1995 Toyota 4runner makes me harder than the Rock of Gibraltar.

Please let this sink the stock even more.
- It definitely won't help. "The most unlikable person on earth being associated with our brand is tanking our stocks, what do we do? I know, well ask the second most unlikable person on earth to help."
  
  Yeah...I fully predict there will be a TARP bailout for Tesla.
  
  One of the only times I'd put Trump at #1, because he's just such a #2.

It has to be bad if they resort to trying to sell EVs to climate change deniers.
- Maybe this is secretly how they save the environment. Coal rollers switching to EVs. And Putin launching the nukes causing a nuclear winter. Global warming solved.

Disgusting. No way for a President to act.
- Title of his memoirs.
- Yeah! He shoulda stuck to selling beans from the Oval Office, like a respectable con man!
- SAD.

Trump: slaps roof
Tesla: combusts

Tesla sales are tanking because of Elon's embracing fascism and this is the best they could come up with to fix it
Just lean harder into it and hope the guy who hates electric cars can sell electric cars

I will party a whole week long when he finally dies.... So hurry up Donald.
- I really, really, really hope he dies on the toilet. It's such a fitting place. Just, he takes a break from a meeting and doesn't come back. And when they go to look for him, he's slumped to the side. Unable to give anal birth to DJT the Turd. I hope pictures of it leak. I'd get it on a t-shirt.
  
  On the toilet?
  In public! Grabs ~~his heart~~ the area where normal humans have a heart, starts staring wildly, sweating profusely, all you hear is a giant wet fart, then his pants stain brown, he stumbles, knocks his head, bites his tongue, collapses.
  The end.
  
  i doubt he has sat on one since the 90s, since he transitioned to only using diapers. hes known to have worn diapers for that long due to cocaine abuse causing incotinence. Elon is probably strung out as much trump is.
- the one for Thatcher in Britain was LIT. There was a conga line in the street and "Ding dong the witch is dead" shot to the top of the music charts
  
  I was a child, don't remember much about her other than the bitch took our milk at school.
- Each one of these assholes gets their own special party week.
- For me, it's gotta be a bullet in a bunker, MAGA has to die cowardly and with a wimper so even those most faithful don't want to talk about it any more
  
  I really would love them to turn into worms like Envy and them suffer their fate.
  
  I dunno, do they get to just not talk about it anymore? I feel like any one of them with a modicum of shame left would be so happy for it to go away and then never have to talk about it again.
  It may not be healthy for "healing" or whatever, but I think round 2 Trump supporters should have their foreheads branded so everyone knows for the rest of their lives what kind of people they are and what kinds of brains they have.
  
  does elon even drive his deathtrap teslas.
- Sadly it seems like he might live many more years despite a preposterously unhealthy lifestyle.
  
  I wonder how's life in the alternative timeline where he didn't move his head a couple of inches away.

This gives me major late night car dealer commercial vibes. My English to Trump is terrible however I have faith that someone write Trump doing the narration for this commercial.
- If you haven't heard infomercial musak playing every time he starts talking you haven't been living.

It's insane that both of them think this will help...
They truly don't understand that the vast majority of Americans fucking hate them. And the ones that do like one of them, already like both.
Zero people will have any change of opinion because of this.
- Dementia and Ketamine have some adverse effects together
  
  Please let murder/suicide be one of the side effects
- They truly don't understand that the vast majority of Americans fucking hate them.
  Do we know this for sure?
- Oh, it will help. Elon can afford to tank the losses from share price fall, then he'll grab loads more with a discount and there will be an eventual rebound. And then we will have the very first trillionaire in the world.
  I guess one of the reasons for Musk to murder Twitter shares was to test how effectively he can tank the financial damage and still ride it out before going full nuclear on his companies.
  Reminds me of one British twat called Humphrey Smith, who owns all companies as unlimited and tanks all legal expenses himself so he can do whatever the fuck he wants with them and with staff. Oh, he also owns a town and does whatever the fuck he wants there too.
- I'm still wondering, do they have an advicing team or something like that or do they just always act on their own, on instinct ?
  Because if they do, it's either they never listen, either the advisers are at least as delusional and that's even more baffling.
  
  They're surrounded by ball-gargling yes men.

There’s no pretending who’s calling the shots anymore. The monkey was asked to perform. He is giving his best performance and everyone is watching the (shit)show.

Why is musk standing like his feet are afraid of each other? He looks like a proper ninny.
- Makes room for the marionette
- hes wearing lifts.
- he's getting ready for that star jump. crowds just love it.

And con't forget to try the fine line of Goya food products!
Oval Office Recommended!

Come on cuntservatives! Buy an EV like your king commands but look like a tree-hugging pussy or don't buy an EV and be a traitor to your king!
Which will it be?

I remember the last time an EV was parked up outside the white house. That went really well for everyone. /s
(2021 Lordstown Motors Endurance)

Trump finally caught up with the versions of him in the parallel universes where he wasn't born of a rich family and is now a car salesman. Just like the universe intended.
- In the best universe, his mother's abortion didn't fail so spectacularly.

The richest man on Earth for now
- The cool thing about being a trillionaire is that you can fall a long, long, long way and still be the richest man in the country.
  Doubly so if you drag everyone else down with you.

His true calling as a car salesman.
- Given that he managed to bankrupt a casino I'm positive his career as a car salesman would be highly comedic.

Billionaires have no idea how the majority of us are living. We shouldn't allow people this disconnected from a normal everyday life to run the country.
- They know and actively get off on it.

And how do they reconcile this with his administration's pro-destroy-the-environment agenda?
- It's not about the environmental aspect of the car for them, it's just another luxury sports vehicle to the buyers this is pitched at. Its fast, expensive and a desirable brand is all they care about, being electric is just a 'cool quirk' of it.
  Were the brand to become really toxic and widely unlikeable by the general public then even the wealthy vapid types would be turned off it. Let's hope we can get the momentum there, as the only buyers left would be the pro-EV MAGAs with money, and I very much doubt that's a large enough demographic to keep Tesla afloat.
- Microplastics from the tires

Surely the solution is to double down and take another round of special K to feel better?
- Triple the dose and he'll feel like his dad loved him.
  
  Not as much as his step sister though.

Trump's cybertruck has a chance to do the funniest thing.

You guys have retirement savings?
- Enough to retire for about a week.
  
  Hey now, I also have a week of sick leave saved up. I’d just have to pretend to be sick (and provide a doctor’s note for my absence) for an entire week before retiring for a week.

selling crappy cars to dumb people is probably the role that suits trump the best.

Jebus, didn't realize the muskrat was so big, Fatputin isn't a small guy and he looks quite a bit smaller. So, guess he's a bigger piece of shit than I even knew!
- Pictures can be tricky. According to google, Trump is actually 1” taller than musk.
  
  Huh, wild, did assume it was camera angle at first, but they're both right next to car, which is angled just slightly so muskrat is a little bit closer, but not enough to skew perspective that much, or so I thought. Hmmmm, X-lifts perhaps?

NSFW ish

It’s about fellatio tho. You should check it out if you aren’t American and know science words.
- Every time I see your copyright notice the day that text gets reproduced by an LLM verbatim draws nearer.

And from now on MAGA loves EVs!

Dumb & Dumber try to sell shitty cars and fail.

The poorly worn suits make so much more sense now
- actually trump is very self conscious thats why he wear oversized suit to hide his obesity, and his centuar gait, his girdle and diaper. also he wears his necktie so tightly to hide how his neck folds look like a certain body part.

Why does he always stand like two people in a horse costume

Did they photoshop his hands bigger?

White House Press pack now have the opportunity to just grill who ever is at the podium next on questions comparing the Model X and then deaths related to Self Driving Incidents

What?!

Yeah sure, let's just re-emphasize for anyone who wasn't paying attention that the man responsible for all this misery is also is the owner of this here car company. It's not as if Musk fans are going to be getting EVs.

Musk looks like that bully that’s just waiting to sucker punch Trump if he fucks up the lines he was given. He’s even clenching his teeth.
- also out of the frame, musk has human shield there with him too.

Is Elon still the richest man in the world?
- Sadly yes, and by a lot.
  
  by a lot.
  Shit. Trump has poisoned my brain. I read that in his voice.

LOL! How many fucking cheeseburgers and Diet Cokes would the Orange Turd need to gobble down?
- how much can his diaper hold, thats your answer. he has to be wearing those astronaut type diapers.
  
  Only the Gold Diapers that are Made in China.

Depends. The cost of eggs equivalent to these vehicles should be enough to cover both of these vehicles with them!

Memorizing the look of this super expensive tesla for no reasons at all.

Rad.

Dozen today or half dozen tomorrow.

Will the White House automotive showcase be the next proud White House tradition?

Ya. This shit is on the top of lemmy but how Ukraine just bombed the fuck out of Moscow and agrees to a cease fire with America reestablishing military support and intelligence services to Ukraine is nowhere to be seen.
- Wouldn't both parties need to agree to a cease fire for it to take effect? So far, Ukraine is the only one that agreed.
  
  Trump agreed. He would only do that if Putin allowed it.
  Now let's see if Putin rejects to establish dominance.
- Protip: you are much less likely to be bombed if you don't stars wars.
- OK Tankie