Have a good Monday

Especially this Monday, which is the mondayest Monday because it got to you an hour earlier than you expected.
- Not me, I slept through my alarm and got up at the time my body thinks is normal.

Started a new job today. Been sitting In a conference room by myself for a remote orientation while the mic cuts in and out and I try not to die from blahhhh
- someone is placing bets on your itchy nostrils.

Because being unemployed feels even worse.

I just got me a new job where we have a 90 minute paid nap from 1 pm to 2:30...
I have a really hard time complaining about it
- Professional:
  mattress tester?
  choloform tester?
  animal tranquilizer tester?
  
  Carbon monoxide tester
- Daycare/preschool?
  
  Yes! Actually a home for adult people with severe developmental disorders. (Sorry if I don't know the correct English term).
  But it is a home for people who need a pause in the middle of the day to handle the rest of it 👍👏
  Also our shifts can be pretty long so it's very fitting with a nap there!
- You have got to tell us about your job after that tantalizing bit

Why is gengar wearing a tie?
- Because he's very important.
- Casual Friday isn’t for 4 more days
- Who are you? The Fashion Police??

Damn dont I relate to this so much. God, please, just give me a remote job. Me a year later: thank you for calling
<company>
support. My name is dis_honestfamiliar, how can I... Yes sir. No sir. Well sir... Umm... Goes on to explain how the product works in detail. Customer still asks a questioned on something I have already mentioned. Sends I formation again. Customer confirms. I asked for their feedback blah blah blah without mentioning my job depends on it.

Working during Ramadan is tiring. First week with all the students back.
One of the centrifuges let the magic smoke out so I get to lug that over to the equipment shop.
Edit: My workplace quite literally just implemented a hiring freeze. I'm glad I just got in, and I hope they don't fire me because I'm still probationary and it took MONTHS to get this job. (Started working here in November 2024)
Edit 2: I work in a university.
Edit 3:
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqruWpQcKLg&t=21
  
  Instructors and UTA be like:
- The daily after party makes up for it though
  
  True, but I'm also trying to lose weight. First week is always extra and I did go a bit hard.

Just had the last 3 weeks off, have to go back in tomorrow lol......
- I had three weeks off over Christmas this year
  Oh my god it was nice
  Best of luck tomorrow, may “catching up on emails” be all the excuse you need to avoid being bothered.

It is indeed Monday, my dudes

Would you have begged god for that job if you didn't have to pay for your food and bills?
- FR. Beg God to destroy capitalism instead.

If you're in a position to do your job as a contractor, I highly recommend it! As a software developer, once I went from FTE to contract jobs I found that my whole outlook improved. Regularly finishing a job and starting another one avoided the usual staleness and burnout that come with FTE jobs. Everything stayed new. Six months to a year and you're out. As an added bonus, the people who hired me tended to listen to me a lot more. I don't know if it was because I was an outsider or because they were paying me more, but whatever, it felt like I got more respect from management. They didn't make me go to as many meetings - as if they actually didn't want to waste my time - imagine that! And yes, you get paid a LOT more - even factoring in the benefits and paid time off that go with FTE jobs. It turns out when you make almost twice as much you can afford your own insurance and time off, no problem. B-but what about job security? Oh, you mean the deal where they have a bad quarter and start laying people off LOL? My typical job search time was 2-3 weeks, and I rarely even started looking until I completely finished a job. Note: this abruptly and permanently became 2-3 months when I turned 50, so factor that in if your profession tends to be thought of as a younger person's game.
- How does one go about switching to contract jobs?
  
  I mostly used agencies. Look up headhunters that deal in your profession - in my case it would be software contracting agencies or tech staffing agencies. Contact them with your resume and tell them you're looking, and they will meet with you about your background, your main skill areas, how far you are willing to commute (or if you just want to work from home), and the types of environments you prefer. For example, I told them I wasn't interested in places such as banks that required wearing a suit.
  If the agency currently has gigs where you seem like a good fit, they will send you there for an interview with people at the company, who make the actual decision. Or they'll keep your information on file and call you when something comes up. I worked with 8 or 10 agencies altogether, and they didn't mind me moving around. They know they can't always keep you busy continually. My experience was that most agencies hired me as an agency employee for the length of that one job, but some might still be deal with you as a self-employed person, I dunno anymore. In most cases their healthcare benefits were a joke - I physically laughed out loud at one, the annual benefit cap was $7000 LOL - but I've heard they are better now.
  My jobs typically lasted 3 months to a year. Taking planned time off during contracts is generally not a problem as long as it doesn't conflict with crucial dates for the project. Just mention it to them in the client interview. I mostly took a few weeks off between contracts, but sometimes during. Unless you're really gung-ho about working you'll probably have more time off than on a regular job. Whether you get paid for sick days and holidays depends on the agency - they're the ones paying you, not the client.
  Hope that info helps, and good luck!

Joke's on you, I'm a janitor at a high security facility working there when no one else is around at a time where if anyone in the world tried to reach me they'd be taken out by armed guards for tresspassing in a nuclear plant.
As an introvert they're paying me to spend a few hours in Heaven cleaning.

The monkey paw curls.

me checking my email to see if musk has fired me yet:

fuck capitalism and fuck mondays

I hate how accurate this is for a job that I used to have.

Hey that could be me in this image.
yeah, I'm "grateful" for it. Albeit, about as grateful as I'd be for a kick in the nuts instead of a bullet in the head.

I work for the state so we are off for spring break this week :)
- I got 1 day and I work for a university. Its not so bad though, I was able to leave earlyish most days.

I don't even work Mondays normally, but here I am.

Dang this hit so hard todyay...

The trick is to never beg for jobs, beg for money.