Allowed

I laughed, then I cried.
The comic also works with him and the original text :(
Trans people are allowed, Nazis like him are not.

We've got a few different words for "things that go on outside the window."

Packages means someone has delivered something to the front door. Barking is desired until a human is present.
Neighbors means it's just someone walking on the sidewalk in front of the house, or across the street, or across the block. Barking is not acceptable.
Are you tired? Because he loves his crate for a midday nap and going to bed at night (he gets to be off duty), this also works when we have visitors coming into the house. Being in the crate for a bit gives people time to come in and get ready for him to greet them. Adding some "do tricks for treats" after opening the crate gives him "good boy" things to do, which seems to keep him from being quite so jumpy on people. Then he gets to greet, and he's pretty fine after that.

These mostly work, though he does still occasionally need help with "neighbors."

Funny enough, my dog was never much of an idle barker. He cut out a little hole in the blinds by sheer perseverance so he could watch the road, but he generally wouldn't bark unless someone knocked - and sometimes not even then.
Always was at the door to greet them, though, and rifle through their purse for anything edible/semiedible/chewable if they weren't sufficiently vigilant.
- Ours has dogtism. He likes everything to be exactly the same every day. "Other people" are outside of that routine. I'm pretty sure that's why he likes to do tricks for treats so much: because he knows what is expected and he knows what's going to happen. I think that "packages" have become part of the "routine," and that "barking until someone comes" is, too.
  I'm really glad that I immediately set the rule "don't lie to the dog." He gets confused and frustrated when you tell him something (by words or action), he responds how he should to that thing, and then you don't follow that with your expected behavior.
Does a dog trainer train the dog or the owner?
Your comment is so easy I can understand it and I don’t own a dog
- Yes.
  My experience with this one dog says that simplicity, consistency, and immediate reinforcement with rewards are absolutely necessary. We watched a whole lot of puppy training videos before bringing him home, they all said essentially the same thing.
  I have also come to know that in the early training process, if the dog even barely does what you want, treat shower. You're not only training them "how to do the thing," but that "this is how training works."
  Arlo knows lots of words now, and lots of body language. Most of his communication to us is in the form of body language, and it can be very subtle. On the super obvious side, he has a mat/blanket in his crate, and he wants it to be straight in there. If it's not, he'll turn circles inside the crate for "fix it." Or if we say "fix it" first, he'll turn circles in response. That didn't require any treat training, because he's already self-motivated to have the straightening out of his blanket as the "reward."

My dog definitely disagrees with that. She would prefer if no one outside of our house existed or at least never walked anywhere within about a 3 house radius because that's obviously intended to be disrespectful to her. We've tried to train her to stop, but she's a very vocal breed and we kind of knew what we were getting into.

I used to have a similar problem when I lived in a house with a property bordered by a very popular sidewalk. My dog scared so many pedestrians by running right up to the fence barking like hell. He never hurt anyone or anything, but I never got him to stop until we moved to a house where the fenced in area was in the back yard.
Fortunately my current home is pretty remote, so we get basically no pedestrians and definitely none close to where my current (different) dog can go. However, he does take affront to delivery people if they stick around too long; I've never heard him bark, but he'll go to the windows nearest the front porch to huff and puff. Sometimes, when the delivery person has left, I'll tell the dog he did a good job scaring them off ... And as a result, my five year old has taken to huffing and puffing alongside him.
I don't know if any delivery people have noticed, but it would be interesting to know what they think about it.
- Mine's about 14lbs, so delivery people usually just laugh at her. I always pick her up or otherwise restrain her before opening the door, though. Regardless of size, it wouldn't be cute if she bit someone's ankle.

Nobody: ...

My dog: "MOTHERFUCKER I KILL YOU! I WILL KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND! HOW DARE YOU INTRUDE ON MY... oh wait. I guess that noise just came from my own butt and not some scary dog eating demon. Nevermind. My bad."

My other dog: "AAAAAAHHHHH! DONT HURT ME. PLEEEASASSSSEEE! IM BEGGING YOU! I HAVE A FAMILY! Oh. Oh, you're going to give me pets? I thought you were going to chop me to death with a giant arm shaped machete."

Neighbors dog does this. If the dog is outside, if we do anything, like leaving the house, entering the house, checking the mail, bark bark BARK! Someone else walking past the house? Another dog barks? Bark bark BARKBARKBARK! I love dogs. I have daydreams of yeeting my neighbors into low earth orbit.

By neighbour they mean "6 year old"