He has been found! The one true King of Stickland!
Now we need to build the Stick Throne ... using all the famous sticks that have been defeated in battle.
How would you defeat these warriors? They have a stick.
Pulled from the pile of stick the legendary sticalibur
How did you become King again?
Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
What's up with that floating vase in the background?