Lazlo says we only need 200 petajoules!

Send this to xkcd and we'll know how many tons of uranium are required to get it done
- Randall Munroe might be busy, so I'll try.
  Okay, according to cooking StackOverflow, a popcorn kernel pops at about 180-200C. Once Iowa is dry enough for the corn to pop, that's the target temperature, and according to the USDA Iowa produced 2.58 billion bushels of corn in 2024. It appears in Iowa it's still cold enough they have just one harvest, and we'll assume by timing our microwave burst right we can get 2 billion. If we approximate the kernel as all water, we can consult the steam tables for energy absorbed heating water at STP to 190C at 10 bars, and with the fact a bushel of corn weighs ~25kg get (2602.8-83.83)kJ/kg 2 10^9 bushels 25kg/bushel = 125.9 PJ. Reactor-grade uranium has an energy density 3.456TJ/kg in practice, per Wikipedia. So, the unrealistic answer is 125.9PJ/(3.456TJ/kg) ~= 36.5 metric tons, which you could actually fit in a cargo aircraft.
  I'm going to come back and add in more realistic answers including the (alleged) non-corn things in Iowa, and then including the need to store that energy in a way that can be quickly turned into microwaves.
  
  You also need enough heavy water to go between the u rods right? Seems like a lot of additional volume and mass for that
  
  There will also be some atmospheric loss, so increase the PJ a bit, depending on what altitude you deploy the satellite to.
  Also, it'll need to recharge, Kansas is next.
- It clearly says it's solar powered.
  
  So what? Like five?
  
  Who says the solar array didn't get to space with nuclear powered rockets?
- Can XKCD also figure out how big a space based solar panel has to be to cast a visible shadow?

Welp an Iowa scale maser is now in my evil dictator to-do list
- Isn't the plot ending in Real Genius? Except the whole state thing.
  
  Pretty sure that was the Laslo reference in the OP.

I am all in favor of this, but I do have to ask if there is a specific reason behind this (apart from the obvious).
- To create the hero we need, not the one we deserve.
- I live there and I'm for it.
- It's only a step forward towards eliminating Ohio and establishing a just and sustainable peace in the Upper Midwest. Isn't that worth a few corn? What price peace?
  
  I am not USian so I don't know the beef towards Ohio, but I'm sure it is justified.
- OPSEC

'fuckoff big microwave transmitter'

https://youtu.be/ZnDAxtCRsIU
- I need to watch this movie again. It was some peak Kilmer.
  
  Tombstone

Doofenshmirtz is that you?

a tesla that goes up in flames is a tesla that won't contribute revenue to Elon in the future.
- Are there many teslas in Iowa?
  
  More than youd think. But not a ton.
- Can you pop corn with a popped Tesla battery? Can we commander a fleet of Teslas and pop their batteries remotely?
  Maybe you're on to something and we can get away with a smaller satellite.
  I'm not sure what Elon has to do with anything tho.