Would you rather be a cowboy, a pirate or a samurai?
Found this question on an Instagram reel as dating advice for girls if they don't know what to talk about and that men have a lot of opinions about this. Let's see if she's right.
But I already am a pirate?
Yarrr beat me too it
Pirate! CGP Grey has a great video on how pirate ships worked. They were a lot more democratic and fair than the merchant marine which worked their crew to the bone and paid them peanuts.
Forgot to mention the part where that democratic society is upheld by the fact that you can (and will, if you're an asshole) be stabbed dead by nearly anyone you interact with. Your own crew, your "customers", the law, rival pirates, all of them have a will and a way of removing you if you don't play fair. This is great for ensuring a fair society, only at the constant imminent risk of death.
Although to be fair I suppose cowboys and samurai were also pretty frequently in deadly dangerous conditions.
Most of the the time cowboys and ranch hands were in danger from their herd stampeding, or the occasional cattle thief. It's very hard work, and not nearly as romantic as Hollywood makes it out to be.
Though if you like camping you might like an old school cattle drive.
Cowboy, no contest.
Samurai's lives belong to their masters. I couldn't live that way.
Pirates live by killing and stealing. I couldn't live that way.
That leaves cowboys. Certainly not the glorious and romantic life Hollywood makes it out to be, but generally honest work toward specific goals and freedom otherwise, which'd be fine.
IDK, getting to spend a ton of time camping sounds kinda romantic/glorious.
Reminds me of a neighbor I had years ago who was an archaeologist.
He said once that archaeologists are basically cowboys with degrees - that the work they do is often just sort of a way to get out into the middle of nowhere and camp for weeks at a time and get paid for it.
And yeah - I can see the appeal.
Also you can be a "cowboy" today, right now.
Samurai. Literal nobility, regular baths, nice clothes, fitted armor, regular training, and at least during the Edo period, low risk of actually having to go into battle (doesn't apply during the prior periods of course). Good food, good rice wine, poetry and music, good literature, intellectually stimulating conversations.
Contrast a cowboy - saddle sores, dust, caked sweat from weeks without baths, cholera, gangrene, bandits, native raids, long hours, and the blazing desert sun.
And the pirate: nothing to eat but hardtack and freeze-dried cod until you make port or board a merchantman, hunted by the Royal Navy, surrounded by fellow pirates who haven't bathed since the last port call, constantly alternating between seasickness and landsickness, cramped quarters belowdecks, constant risk of drowning, and when you finally go on a raid, you're getting shot at by grapeshot and 16-pounder roundshot at effectively point-blank range.
Samurai, any day. raises cup of green tea
Joke's on you. Anyone can be a literal pirate right now, no boat required. Just grab a BitTorrent client and off you go. 🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️
Honestly, I'd choose that technically correct option because it's probably the one that makes it easiest to get and maintain insulin, which I need to live.
Late in the Edo period, you'd be a poorly paid menial bureaucrat, but that's still a good gig compared to the others.
Damn, that is a pretty persuasive argument, I might have to change my answer to samurai...
I came in here for this comment. When the choices are "criminal fighting the immensity of the ocean", "guy named for all the cows and famous for shooting/being shot by other cow guys", and literal nobility, it's a solid deal. Of all three, one has the lowest chance of death, highest quality of life, and you pretty much got to do whatever you wanted depending on the era. The law that let you kill offending lower classes for twenty days of house arrest was only struck off the books in the mid 19th century.
I think I would be a samurai. Samurai, while fierce warriors, were also poets and great appreciators of the arts.
Have you read Musashi, the novel?
They're also the only one with systematic mind/body training instead of just winging it.
Cowboys still exist today, and they have running water, medical care, etc. so if we are talking modern cowboy I’ll go with that. But otherwise yeah I bet samurai had the best amenities.
Cowboy.
I want to sit at a campfire, eat my bowl of chili, then curl up in my blanket under the stars and in the morning boil myself a nice pot of coffee.
You can keep the cow stuff though.
That’s called camping.
Jimmy, you got nuthin' but rocks 'tween yer ears if you think you can go cowboyin' with no cows.
Just call ‘em steers. Cows are for milkin’ n breedin’.
Careful of Lumbago with that much workin'
You could make the chilli.
I need an option that includes air conditioning.
All right, I'll throw hedge fund manager in there.
Ninja. They are so good at hiding that you probably don't even see it as one of the options.
Can I be Hasekura Tsunenaga, the samurai who went to Mexico? That way I could be a cowboy samurai. Plus I could be a pirate during the journey from Japan to Mexico. ✓ ✓ ✓
So you got to eat your pirate rice cake with beans, and have it too.
Cowboy literally just means rancher. It was not a particularly good job in the wild west and it's only marginally better now.
Samurai were well respected, well paid, and had social status. The downside is that they needed to kill people or die trying when their boss said to, which doesn't sound like fun to me.
Pirates also have the problem of having to do violence on a regular basis, but without the glamour and respect of being Samurai.
All in all, I'd probably choose samurai.
Cowboy - Pros: lowest chance of death, honest work for honest pay. Cons: hard work for low pay
Pirate - Does internet piracy count? I get seasick to easily to be the boat kind. Also the death.
Samurai - Maybe an Edo period samurai, when they were mostly bureaucrats.
Surely a pirate in the Caribbean or the Philippines wouldnt be too awful as you wouldn't be out at sea that much and close to land. For me it's the exploration and discovery that appeals to a life of piracy, but in reality I imagine it would be an absolute dog shit existence, especially compared to that of a samurai (minimal bloodshed unless there's a war) or cowboy (you look after horses on a ranch). However, many pirates just did a stint and then returned back home, so what's 2-3 years of making booty and having PTSD from cannon fire/pillaging.
I'm a man and don't have strong opinions about this, so count this as one vote against it.
Lol I was thinking the same, neither sounded really appealing to me but it's not like I'd start a fight over it.
Yes I am a pirate, 200 years too late. The cannon don't thunder, there's nothing to plunder. I'm an over 40 victim of fate arriving too late.
Arriving too late.
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I am already a pirate.
my answer too
Cowboy. I don't know enough about samurai, and I know too much about pirates
What year for samurai, and what rank? Samurai in 1590 were very different from samurai in 1850; after the warring states period ended, samurai quickly lost everything except their pride. Merchants - nominally the lowest class (burakumin were outside of the class system) - had far more wealth and real power than the samurai in the years preceding the Meiji restoration. A low-ranking samurai around 1820 would be a life of poverty that was still filled with class and social obligations; not cool.
Overall, probably a ranch hand (cowboy was a derogatory term). Yeah, the pay was shit, and it was hard work, but you got to be outside all the time.
Pirate by a mile, I don't know why just the freedom or the fact I really enjoyed the Black Flag game.
Those fuckin Sea Shanties, bruh.
Are there no Pirate Cowboy Samurais?
There's definitely a samurai cop. I've seen the movie.
yes. yes i would.
Like the SEAL who became a doctor and then went to space. Don’t feel like you have to limit yourself, you know?
This is the way.
Id be a cowboy. Just a rancher landlord with guns. Its probably the closest of the 3 with a peacefull lifestile since killng is not that necesary. And i could be a modern day cowboy with a truck and an automated farm house and i still would be a cowboy since i work with cows, have guns and wear a hat sometimes.
I want to be a pirate literally cuz I'm in the middle of watching one piece
People dress up as cowboys now. Go to your local Walmart.
Speaking of, why the fuck aren't they shamed into the shadow realm like I would be if I dressed as a samurai while getting the bread and milk?
Anyway that's my answer, Samurai.
Because cowboys unlike your weird understanding of what a cowboy "is," actually still exist. Some of the people at your local Walmart are literally blue-color workers with the job title "cowboy." Now why you would want those laborers banished to "the shadow realm" is obviously some kind of perverted understanding of class in american society that you need to work out for yourself. Hopefully you can understand that actual cowboys exist to today, but Samurais, since they are dependent on feudalism, cannot and do not exist any longer.
Just throwing this out there, you can literally be a cowboy or a pirate today right now. The only barriers to entry are willingness and the minor physical ability they require. Samurai is unfortunately impossible.
That's not what the guy at the store said when he sold me this sword. /s
Pirate and cowboy would both be really hard, dirty and deadly. So I'd go with samurai. They're basically just the ruling aristocracy, for most of their time they've never had to fight. So lots of money comfort and safety beat the more freedom you have for the other two.
It's a toss up between cowboy and samurai.
For Samurai it would depend on when. Samurai became defacto nobility, but they began in the 8th century as just mercenaries hired by local nobles to protect their estates.
But a cowboy is a life in the open air on a ranch. Hard work for sure, but hard work doesn't bother me.
I think it would depend on "when" for all three of them.
Get the wrong date for Cowboy and instead of lying next to a campfire, you're nursing your rodeo injuries in your trailer home.
Get the wrong date for Pirate and you'll find yourself cradling a semiautomatic in a speedboat off the coast of Somalia.
Samurai kinda always bangs though.
In the early years of their existence they were just mercenaries, but they had horses (expensive) and were pretty much only hired by nobility (decent accommodations)
By the end they were automatically nobility themselves, even to this day if you were still a "samurai" you'd either be a descendent of a wealthy family or a famous figure for 1 reason or another. Not a bad life
I would be a pirate. Because the other word for pirate treasure is Booty. (Beastie boys influence, I guess)
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Cowboy. It would be hard work but all that time outside, sleeping under the stars, working with my hands.
I'd be bored within a week but the idea is fun!
A movie pirate. The kind that gets to sail, have adventures, but never seems to do any killing or pillaging.
When thinking of each, if it was in a world where life is good and I'm living in the picturesque lifestyle that comes to mind for each one, then probably a Pirate.
Sailing the open seas is the picture that comes to mind and it's the most "romantic" to me.
Pirates wiped their asses after a shit with a rope. The same rope was used by the entire crew and never switched. I would not enjoy being a pirate. Not at all.
Was that restricted to pirates, or just the way it was done on these ships?
Samurai. They were freaking rich, ate good food and married well. They did good deeds and shit and had plenty of time for self reflection and improvment.
Good deeds like maintain the brutal feudalism which stunted Japans growth for centuries
Well, I have rum and a sword from my weeb phase, so cowboy it is. Time to buy a six shooter.
Samurai, during the heydays of the shogunate.
No thanks. I'm a coward. I just want to sit on my ass all day and browse lemmy
pirates supported same-sex marriage, so I’ll go with that 🏳️🌈
¿Porque no los tres?
All would actually suck if these are the realistic versions, but Cowboy would suck the least, at least as a violence-averse person (if you're not violence-averse I understand why you'd pick Samurai.)
Movie versions, I'd still go Cowboy. I'd get stir crazy on a boat and I don't like answering to people like Samurai need to.
Be would mean now and here? Or the and there (where they existed)?
Your choice :)
I want to be a samurai. I wanted to be one since I was a kid, and I want to be one even more after having read Hagakure. I even try to live up to a lot of the same ideals Yamamoto Tsunetomo laid out in the book about what it meant to be samurai. It's almost the same idea as medieval chivalry; but more intense and without the religious overtones.
A cowboy. I was born in the western US and spent some of my young life on a cattle ranch. It's hard work and at the end of the day, there's a sense of accomplishment.
Not interested in being a pirate, stealing isn't my thing. I don't like the idea of slicing and dicing people, so samurai wouldn't work for me either.
Samurai gets paid by the fedual lord. Easy choice.
From what I like the most? Defebatly pirate, cause I could be another pirate Queen and that sounds dope
From whats the least icky one? Samurai after it became a social status and a symbol of nobility with the occasional murdering
Fictionally, a samurai. But for real, I guess cowboy is the most sane option...
Not even considering being a pirate makes me wonder what you were thinking about? Like being in a fictional world is most awesome thing that can happen to you ever. But also for real their life isn't that bad as being scalped alive
My presumptions says that they don't have great healthcare nor food... And in the fictional world, you'll get hanged unless it's something like One Piece (which would be cool I guess)
Yarr!
Pirate!
Samurai. I'd like a higher place on the social hierarchy than pirate and cowboy.
Pirate is definitely out - I don't really care to be surrounded by guys 24/7 on a crowded and dirty ship. Samurai maybe but I'd go with "Cowboy". Has the best chance for a somewhat modern life and many chances to meet women...
someone’s got a case of the not-gays...
I give up my space on the ship for someone who can appreciate the company
Cowboy you get to live a normal life in modern times compared to the other two. A modern day pirate is a shitty 3rd world existence and a samurai means being in Japan. I’ll take Cowboy with a loving wife and kids raising cattle and in the evenings getting to stream 4K content with Starlink on my OLED tv eating amazing BBQ anyday.
Samurai. Not quite upper-class but a lot better social standing and conditions than the other two.
I would 100000% be a samurai because I'm 1000000% a weeb
Pirate, no contest