Distro suggestions for a dumb-dumb who only knows linux through meme osmosis

Mint is the best distro for the average user who doesnt want to tinker with their OS or doesnt want to waste time fixing issues.
IF Mint doesnt go well with your laptop, I would try out Fedora, which is more up to date with stuff and also very user friendly choose Fedora Workstation if you're feeling adventurous. choose Fedora KDE if you want a Windows like experience.
- To add, if OP is looking to use the laptop for gaming, I can recommend Bazzite. Built upon fedora with some quality of life things and very stable as it's immutable. Very hard to fuck up.
  
  I'm not sure about recommending immutable distros to noobs, I've read enough reports from people that want to (or because of some hardware crap, need to) install or mess with some low-level stuff that just won't work on the immutable distros, plus a bunch of online advice or help will just not be applicable.

It's hilarious how uncool it is to suggest Ubuntu but it often just works, including very recent hardware if it's from Canonical partners like Lenovo or Dell. And the kerfuffle about things like snaps are way overblown.
- Fedora tends to "just work" too. Some manufacturers that support Ubuntu also support Fedora for customers that need a "RedHat-ish" distro instead of a "Debian-ish" one.
- you're right, but the issues with ubuntu crop up later, when you have to update or after you install enough incompatible stuff that it breaks your system. which is a shame bc ubuntu is the most user friendly distro there is imo
  
  I don't recognize this myself. I've never had trouble with incompatibilities or degradation etc.,
  Especially these days my OS can remain very vanilla, as many complex things can be containerized. E.g. I run syncthing and an nfs server and sometimes torrenting over vpn, through docker-compose; I'd never install all that on the host with all the extensive dependencies. Same with some heavyweight apps like darktable - spin them up from Flatpak.
  Ubuntu does it very well with minimal fuss. I see little to dislike.
  
  is it user friendly if it's so prone to breakage?
- More specifically Ubuntu LTS, since interim releases are now expectedly beta quality and require upgrades a few months after release. Ubuntu LTS, enable unattended upgrades, register and activate Ubuntu Pro for them and you won't have to touch it for the lifetime of the hardware.
- I came here to say this as well. Ubuntu "just works"™ and was my entry into linux 15+ years ago.
  
  Ubuntu was my entry to linux as well, 19 years ago. But Ubuntu of today is not the Ubuntu of 15-19 years ago, and not in a good way.
- Especially because it's to a newbie, who stands to benefit the most from using an OS with more user share and more available online resources.
- I haven't used Windows in about 3 years, so I may be out of date, but in my experience, Ubuntu and its derivatives work easier with scanners and printers. For me and my printer-scanner combo, I literally just have to place it and the Linux desktop on the same network/WiFi. I don't even have to add the printer-scanner. The OS finds it in the background on its own. It confused me the first time it happened because like you, I had wearisome issues in the past. Last I used Windows, I had to tell the OS to search for the printer and find the drivers for it myself online. Now, it's installed before I open up printers on my OS.

memes dunking on mint are irrelevant. use what works for you & ignore the noise.
personally, mint lmde, based on debian, might be worth a once over. sounds like the stability aspect might be up your alley.

Linux Mint. I'm a pretty hardcore Linux person, used a dozen different distros, Mint is by far the closest I've experienced to #JustWorks.
It's reliable and simple enough that earlier this year I switched my tech-illiterate parents from Windows to Mint. Works great for them so far.
- Yeah Mint being the "Just works" distro is why I use it these days. Debian is best for servers/low maintenance systems, Mint is best for desktops IMHO.
  
  I love it. I run Mint on my business laptop and my personal laptop, it's so solid. And Cinnamon has been the most stable desktop environment I've ever used.

I've done dozens of distros and Linux mint is the most familiar, unexciting, and stable one I have found. Ignore the hate. Real Linux fans don't care how you participate in open source, other than being toxic. Consequently, do whatever you want and install whatever seems like it would be something you'd want to use.
Id highly suggest having a separate hard drive for Linux as it can be easy to break dual boot if you don't know what you are doing. Last thing you want to do is panic and decide you need to reinstall Windows.

Thanks for the input ya nerds. Much love from the geek side of lemmy. I'll be taking the advice of poking around with multiple distros before committing to one, because it sounds a whole lot less painful than I was imagining.
Quick question though, what the hell is a gnome? Or a KDE for that matter?
- GNOME and KDE are different desktop environments. Basically they are the software that provides you a graphical user interface. Gnome is more simple, but KDE is more customizable and windows-like. There are more options to choose from than these 2
- This is a GNOME: https://www.gnome.org/
  This is a KDE (Plasma): https://kde.org/plasma-desktop/
- About Gnome and KDE, they are simply different Desktop Enviroments (DE).On Linux, DE's are a software category, much like how browsers are a category with many different alternatives (Firefox, Chrome, Opera, ...) on Linux we got DE's such as: Gnome (a more tablet-like DE. You either love it or hate it) KDE Plasma (by default it's windows-like, but it is very customizeable but can be kinda overwhelming to some) Cinnamon (the one that comes with Mint, very simple, very light, very user friendly and has a familiar layout for Windows users) And many more, Cosmic, Pantheon, XFCE, Sway and so on...
  
  Stop recommending Ventoy! It’s a huge security risk and the author has not responded in 8 months.
  
  I discovered Ventoy a week ago and ~~it's fucking amazing. So much time and hassle saved.~~ it seemed amazing, but I had no idea about the security concerns others have pointed out. My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.
- Gnome and KDE are two different "desktop environments". Each distro has a default desktop environment (DE for short), but it's like a regular application that you can swap out for a different one that does the same thing. The DE is (roughly, I think) the graphical interface to the operating system. So it can feel like the DE is the operating system (especially on Windows or Mac, which don't have options to change the DE).
  Most Linux distros, and certainly all of the beginner friendly ones, make it relatively easy to switch to a different DE. (Or, so I've heard. I've been using Linux as my daily driver for I've a decade, and I barely understand what's involve in installing a new DE.)
- Desktop Environments (DE), or the Graphical User Interface (GUI) you use with it. Essentially you can choose the graphics set and layout of your computer. The underlying functionality of your computer doesn't change too much, but how things get displayed does. Ubuntu by default uses GNOME. but you can install Kubuntu instead of or alongside it and use the KDE environment. I used to have both installed and just chose which one I wanted to use at the login screen. Eventually I moved to the i3 environment as well and would switch to that sometimes because it could be fun to play with. If you're new to this and use Ubuntu I'd just start with that (GNOME) and then you can branch out from there when you feel ready. KDE runs a bit more efficiently but looks a bit simpler, last I used it.
- In windows, we get the entire os as a single product, and we don't have a choice in anything. On linux, it's the contrary. The os if formed by several software distributed separately and joined together like lego pieces. Each linux distro is a compilation of software, a particular combination of lego pieces created and maintained by some group.
  So, even the system graphical interface is a lego piece like any other, and each distro comes with one by default. Kde and gnome are some of the most popular interfaces. You can also replace almost any lego piece from the system by another of your choice, unlike on windows.
  I hope I helped you understand linux a bit better. It all will become much more simple to you with a little more time. Be welcome to the community.
- These are "desktop environments". They are essentially the graphical elements you interface with the operating system. icons, windows, buttons, those sort of things.
  The two most common are KDE and GNOME. KDE has a very Windows-like appearance and functionality. GNOME is the same but for MacOS.

Mint gets dunked on for being slow and HDR variable refresh rate and Wayland is not on the cutting edge. Nobody hates it for being stable though.
- Its also popular and easier to google issues for.
- to be fair you can always remove gnome-keyring and it will go 20x faster. Found out the hard way. I wasn't aware mint had it.
  
  Huh; any idea why that, of all things, would slow everything down?

mint
generally a solid choice
you have a friend who uses it! big advantage
people who make memes about linux distros are in a lot deeper than you want to be. they have different goals.
- True for the friend benefit. Fun and useful to occasionally chat about it with someone who knows what's up.

When first coming from Windows, starting with Mint is the safest bet for a good transition because things will work pretty much as you expect them to, and there's a very helpful forum if you have any questions. But I always say to try several distros and Desktop Environments to see how you like them. Everyone is different and it's all a matter of preference.
I suggest that once you've got whatever distro you decided on up and running, install a virtual machine software such as Boxes (very simple) or Virtual Box (a little more complicated but with more options). Then just download various distros and make VMs for them to try them out easily. Have fun!

Go ahead with mint. It's the only distro I know with a fully featured setup wizard that holds your hand through the entire process. I am confident anyone who has used computers can use it.
But honestly, most modern distros are about as difficult as picking up an iOS/android phone for the first time. There are different ways of doing things, but they're still phones and can't be too different anyway. Same with mint, it's just a computer, it isn't all that different.
- It's the only distro I know with a fully featured setup wizard that holds your hand through the entire process.
  Ubuntu, Fedora, Nobara(Fedora fork by GloriousEggroll of proton-ge), Garuda Arch, Pop!OS. Those are just the few I've personally fiddled with.
  Highly recommend Garuda, Nobara and Pop!, in that order, for gaming.
  
  No it can't be. I'm using fedora right now and it drops me into the GNOME desktop with nothing. The GNOME tours barely count, they just tell you to login to your dropbox or smth.
  Have you seen the mint one? It's actually dummies proof. Full "It's my first day on linux" step-by-step guide. Everything from updating, setting themes, backups, installing nvidia drivers is in there. All relevant choices are meticulously explained.
  I'm so certain of its coverage, I recommend mint to internet strangers because I genuinely believe it's sufficient even for the lowest common denominator. I can drop mint on any rando and fully trust that the Mint setup wizard will hold their hands through their first day on Linux.
  I last switched distros 3 years ago, and the wizard definitely wasn't on popOS or Ubuntu either.
- I second mint, back when I had more time to fuck with such things I distro hopped like crazy, mint is easy and it just works

Go with Mint, it's my daily drive on both my laptop and HTPC. If you choose the regular edition Ubuntu based you have also hardware enablement (hwe) kernels which could be useful on newer hardware.

Mint is one of the best bets for beginners, it's very similar to windows 10 UI wise by default and generally very user friendly

Linux Mint.
- +1

You can go with mint. It's a solid choice. I prefer opensuse tumbleweed since I find it easier to work with. It also has a great selection of desktop enviroments witch is the thing you interact with and what you use to manage your open programs. If you want something like modern windows you can go with KDE or cinnamon and if you want something more minimal and windoes XP like you can use xfce.

Mint
Kubuntu
Fedora KDE Edition
OpenSuSE
Pop!OS
These are all easy to use desktop distros (or variants). Use them with their respective default desktop environment. Check screenshots first or try them out in a VM or via live USB before installation, to see whether you like the look&feel.

ITT: 100 people naming their favourite distro and making that fit whatever OP needs.
- So far, people are being pretty reasonable. Most are recommending mint, ubuntu or similars, and no one recommended arch to someone with basic linux/computing skills. I have to say I'm impressed. Restored my faith in the community.
- That's numerous threads every day in every Linux-related forum. A lot of people cannot seem to distinguish a sincere recommendation based on stated needs frombjust the opportunity to proclaim their allegiance to their favorite.

Linux Mint is one of the most common gateway drug for getting into linux.
It's incredibly easy to set up and use. And it has plenty of resources if you ran into any issue.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say fedora silverblue or bazzite
Basic user? Use flat packs and enjoy easy graphics support, as well as all of the windows compatibility for gaming
Advanced user? Learn to do things in pods/containers or distrobox, it's easy even if the quick start docs aren't great (I can find my cheat sheets if anyone is going down that road)
Pro: most stuff just works, and it's harder to config yourself into a corner you have to research your way out of
Cons: normal Linux install guides need to be modified a bit, it's not hard but you do have to learn how to do it

Fedora's KDE spin
I really hope more beginner distros switch to kde from GNOME. When I was first getting into linux and did not know about what a DE was, GNOME put me off from fully switching to linux and themeing it was hell with it not playing nice with qt applications, of course as a newbie i did not know what "qt" or "Gtk" was and did not understand at the time why some applications were not following theme.
while kde default is not pretty it can be anything you want it to look like and its easy to customize and plays nice with gtk applications. GNOME IS very customizable that you might even be able to make it into a usable desktop.
- Came to say Fedora KDE is the way to go now. Stable, reliable, powerful and customizable.

Pop!_OS is neat. I've been running it on my desktop and laptop for over a year now. I like that it doesn't look like Windows and has enough difference to it to not be a macOS clone either. Plus I think System76 is doing some great things with hardware design.
- Pop_os is the best

Pop OS has been pretty pain free for me
- PopOS or Mint are probably the best for new users.

Generally I agree with everyone else, Linux Mint is great.
However, if you really want to not worry at all, you could just buy a laptop from e.g. Tuxedo or System76. They come with Linux preinstalled (I think in the case of Tuxedo at least, you even have a choice of which Linux Distro?), and are guaranteed to have no hardware "difficulties" with Linux, i.e. even if you put another distro on it, you won't encounter driver issues.
(Those have become very rare anyways, but do put a damper on the "Firsttime Linux Experience" if you do encounter them...)
- You can also buy from novacustoms and get Linux installed and you get to have coreboot as the bios

I've got one friend who uses mint, but I've also seen memes dunking on it so who knows. I actually really only know what I've seen from you all shitposting in other communities
Every distro gets shit on in memes, because each distro does things its own way that some don't agree with. As a new user, most of that doesn't matter much, the biggest changes between distros are how stuff works in the background. What matters more is your choice of Desktop Environment (DE). Essentially "the coat of paint on top". Most distros offer a couple different options when downloading the ISO, or when installing it.
I'd reccomend starting out by trying GNOME and KDE Plasma (if they're easily available for your distro), with GNOME being slightly more macOS-like, and KDE being somewhat similar in feel to Windows. Those are "the big two" DEs, but there's plenty of other options available if you don't like them.
As for distros, whatever works for you is the option you should go with. There's only two distros I recommend against using, Ubuntu (/ close derivatives) and Manjaro. Ubuntu is becoming extremely corporate, going against the "spirit" of a Linux distro. There's "Ubuntu Pro", a subscription for security updates, and "snap", an "alternative to" flatpak that forces you on Ubuntu managed repositories, along with many other issues. Manjaro is often marketed as "an easy Arch-based distro", but is in fact only very loosely derived from Arch. This combined with Manjaro team's inability to maintain the distro properly, causes nothing but issues.
As for every other distro, if it's being updated, and it works for you, then it's a great option. Because that second one is very personal, there is no "single best Linux distro". I would personally suggest to check out Mint and Fedora, those are often great options.
As someone else mentioned, with a "new laptop", hardware compatibility may be an issue. Most distros allow you to try them off the USB before installing, that's probably a good idea.
- I've been running Manjaro for about a decade and never had issues. Not saying they don't exist but I feel like the concerns are overblown.
  
  There's several online sources that compile some of the reasons why Manjaro is objectively a bad distro, here's one as an example: https://manjarno.pages.dev/
  You're free to choose whatever you want on your system, I just reccomend against Manjaro (and Ubuntu).

Personally I would recommend Fedora, most distros people have recommended here works.
I had less issues installing Fedora on a new laptop than I did with the win11 and win10 attempts, I'm never switching back to windows

I think Mint is good enough. People will dunk on anything popular.

I'll drop this: https://www.techradar.com/best/best-linux-distros It's written by an actual journo and not a bunch of nerds in nerdville!
Getting into Linux is a bit like Windows back in the day - interesting and a lot of fun ... and rather nerdy. My first Windows version was 1.0 and my last was 7. Mind you I do run a MS Silver Partner and worry about a lot of Windows servers and desktops but my daily driver is Linux.
Mint is a great choice, even though it isn't mentioned in the article I linked because you get a great community, which is pretty important. Its basically Ubuntu and therefore Debian too, so a lot of howtos will work.
I personally rock Kubuntu but I have a requirement for enterprisey stuff - ESET and Veeam and AD integration and all that. I also get Secure Boot out of the box and not all Linux distros work with that.
Your smart new laptop will have Secure Boot enabled so you will have to deal with that if you deploy a distro that doesn't. So with say Arch, you will need to turn it off or learn how to sign your kernels etc and that is not a beginner topic! I suggest you turn off Secure Boot if your chosen distro doesn't support it, rather than insisting on it. Its a nice to have but not the most important security feature ever.
You might want to show a bit of ankle and try out a few to start with. Most distros have a live CD that you can boot and try out first. I suggest trying out Mint, Ubuntu and Kubuntu. That gets you three modern interfaces to play with.
If you are into gaming then it kooks like Pop!OS would be a good place to start instead.
There is no real best option - it's what suits you and you have choice.

I really like Fedora. Swapped to it a few months ago, my first time using Linux, and I've since only been using the Linux machine. With the KDE Plasma spin, it really is a near 1:1 UI to Windows.

I use my laptop as a tool - no real idea how it works. If Linux nerds are mechanics then I’m just a taxi driver. Use mint. I do. Zero regrets. Caveman compatible.

What spec of laptop are you thinking of getting?
- Still shopping around, so nothing's set in stone. I'm not much of a hardware guy either, so the best I could tell you is just that I'm looking for something a step or two above 'bare minimum' for 2025. An SSD, fair bit of ram, ports for external storage so I can actually boot with another OS, maybe enough guts to run skyrim modded to the gills. Somewhere in that ballpark.
  
  If you're getting a laptop with a graphics card, make sure you go with something by AMD. Nvidia cards will work fine enough, though for a whole host of different reasons, AMD is generally preferred for Linux.
  
  If you're running an Nvidia gpu, then Linux Mint is great for not needing to deal with setup issues.
  If you're going with an AMD gpu or no gpu at all, then i actually recommend Garuda Linux. It's Arch-based so you may need to keep up with the updates more often. But you'll get access to the AUR, a centralized* repository for just about every program you'll need to install. I personally find it and pacman easier to use than apt.

The process for installation is more or less the same for all of them.
Linux Mint and PopOS are the "go to" suggestions. I really don't like the way either of them look. I'm partial to GNOME for aesthetics and ease of use.
Bazzite comes with most of the stuff you will want pre-loaded, and also the cool Steam Deck Gamescope interface. It's the only one I've used with seamless background updates like you might be accustomed to on Android or iOS. That's my recommendation.
- Currently using Bazzite as my main OS on my laptop, and it works pretty good, the ostree setup has prevented me from manually installing several things though :/
  
  That is the fun part about Linux is installing anything that's not a Flatpak 😵‍💫
  
  What's this ostree setup thing please? Was thinking of trying Bazzite but am not yet a super experienced user so trying to understand any issues beforehand...
  
  It's not that bad once you learn how to layer, and use distrobox
- I'm partial to GNOME for aesthetics and ease of use.
  At that point just get a Mac. Gnome has the same “we know better than you do. If you want to do something outside of our extremely specific use cases, you’re using it wrong and should figure something else out” mentality that Apple does.
  
  Except on Linux you're not obligated to use GNOME, with it being simply a choice between many, and that just so happens to fit into it's users specific needs. It sure has it's issue like any DE has, and if it bothers you then you're completely free to use whatever else you want, that's the beauty of open source.
  
  At that point just get a Mac.
  There are lots and lots of reasons not to do that that I'm sure you already know but are determined to be an asshole regardless.
  Gnome has the same “we know better than you do
  Never seen it.

I’ve been using Mint and Pop!_OS on two different machines for a few years.
Neither has really required much from me as the user, although I have needed to use the terminal once on each of them.
Personally, I really like the way Pop does window tiling and workspaces.
- Generally I agree with everyone else, Linux Mint is great.
  However, if you really want to not worry at all, you could just buy a laptop from e.g. Tuxedo or System76. They come with Linux preinstalled (I think in the case of Tuxedo at least, you even have a choice of which Linux Distro?), and are guaranteed to have no hardware "difficulties" with Linux, i.e. even if you put another distro on it, you won't encounter driver issues.
  (Those have become very rare anyways, but do put a damper on the "Firsttime Linux Experience" if you do encounter them...)

Mint or Zorin

You got a lot of distro recommendations from across the spectrum and it's honestly hard to go wrong with any of them. It's mostly a matter of preference. As such I'll give you two pieces of advice:
Set up a multi-boot flash drive (assuming you're currently using Windows, YUMI is a great utility) so that your can try a bunch of them and see what jives with you most. A great feature of Linux installers is that you can actually run the entire OS, full-featured, from the ISO. So grab a whole slew of them, throw them on the flash drive, and spend some time taking them for a spin.
Do your research on compatibility. Laptop makers often don't make Linux drivers, so the latest hardware has compatibility problems until the community covers the gap. There are also some laptop manufacturers that have Linux in mind when they make their products, like System 76 and Framework.
Good luck! IMO getting into Linux for the first time is a fun journey. Enjoy it!

mint is probably where you want to be. if you have performance issues with mint, consider MX Linux, AntiX, and EndeavourOS, in that order.

I'm very impressed by the work by the Elementary OS team. Linux is a beast to figure out, and while I've used Linux for 30 years, I remember how frustrating getting started was. I use Pop!_OS on my desktop machines today and Debian or Ubuntu for other machines and I've used dozens of desktops, but Elementary really does just work (and also also happens to be Debian / Ubuntu based).
It has the easiest install process, trouble free device support, and it starts you with guardrails that keep from breaking things, but can be turned off as you figure it out. Very Mac inspired experience, so not completely intuitive from Windows, but the reality of Linux is that you are going to change distros over time, or even use multiple as each do a better job at dealing with niche requirements. Certaintly not the one size that fits no one that is the current Windows 11 debacle.
https://elementary.io/
Edit: Wine math last night, it was summer of 1994 so 30 years, not 35 😅. It was on my new AMD 486DX4/100 with VLB and getting X to work was no picnic. A friend gave me the CD ROMs so at least I wasn't using dialup to download it.
- You used Linux two years before it was released?
  
  Why did the hipster burn its tongue?
- It will be 35 years way too soon. I can't remember the last time I compiled a kernel let alone what exactly I was doing with a computer in the early 90s.
  Its weird that most of the world runs on Linux outside of desktop and we still have these discussions. I didn't know what a distro was in the beginning. It was a Linux kernel and gnu user space someone had compiled to get people started. If the disk sets had a name I didn't know or care.
- Linux isn't even 35 years old ...

I just set up Nobara.
Shockingly straightforward.
Entire install process was very simple, with a GUI, then a neat little post install app that gives you another very straightforward GUI for running your first batch of system updates.

But uh if you're just looking for an OS for a standard desktop PC, everything I've outlined in the above spoiler is not gonna be a problem, and you'll likely have a very straightforward install process.
I'm also a fan of Nobara's default UI... kind of a gnomeified KDE?
As well as its default apps, built in DeckyLoader and plugins for the Deck, ProtonPlus for runtime environments, and of course its built in kernel customizations/optimizations for to play vidya gaem.
Oh, and I went with Nobara over the default SteamOS because SteamOS on a Deck is a read only OS by default...
You can install flatpaks, but if you want to actually install new core packages, those will get wiped with a SteamOS update... or you have to use DistroBox... which may also get wiped on an update?
Not sure, but Nobara allowse to use the deck as both a Deck and a more standard desktop linux PC with more customizability... and not having to rely on the AUR, which I find incredibly frustrating.
- Nobara is pretty painless. Fedora without having to dink with adding repos and fixing graphics drivers. A pile of built-in tweaks for making gaming work out of the box.

Don't get mint if you'll get a remotely capable laptop or plan to game on it. Its so called 'modern' desktop environment (wich still defaults to the old X window system) feels awful to use imo and while the 'retro' ones are better there's no point in using them on a new laptop. Choose a distro that ships with KDE, GNOME, or a wlroots based desktop environment.
I've also had driver issues with it that didn't happen with Ubuntu or arch.
Pretty much every distro has a caveman compatible installer.

Ubuntu, Debian, Fedora or one of the offshoots like Mint or Pop.
As long as you don't go too far into the weeds with Arch, Silverblue or NixOS, You're probably going to have a pretty decent experience, as long as you don't dig too far under the hood too early most things that you're going to want to try are just going to work out of the gate.

HolyOS, Hannah Montana linux, AmongOS
- Don't forget uWuntu
- How about serenity OS

Fedora KDE. It's easy to setup, modern, customizable and fast. Only issue is that it doesn't come with proprietary codecs, so that could be a problem.
Second would be Mint, it's only flaws is that it ships an older kernel (might be a pain) and uses X11 (insecure).

Linux mint, Debian, Fedora
PopOS if you are into gaming
- How is Debian beginner friendly? Quite far from it imho
  
  Have you used it in recent years?

I can’t disagree with mint being a good distribution, because it is.
I personally think for someone just starting out in Linux that an immutable distribution like fedora silverblue (gnome) or kinoite (kde) is the safest route to take. They’re difficult to break. I personally use bazzite on my framework laptop and it’s basically hassle free. Not for everyone, but they work well.
- I opened this thread to type out this exact comment but somehow you typed up the exact same thing before me?
- I would beg to differ. Maybe things will be different once things have mature more. At the moment, just quickly trying out a most of them, I'd easily see rough edges within first few minutes. Some would have more subtle issues, but it's still far from foolproof.
  Simple config stuff that would usually take simple file editting on /etc comes to mind.

I usually recommend Zorin OS to noobs, but personally I prefer arch based

to those suggesting mint, any particular reasons to choose between Cinnamon, MATE, and Xfce versions?
- Cinnamon or Xfce are more similar to Windows' user interface. Between those two, Xfce is more lightweight than Cinnamon. MATE is more for people who liked GNOME 2 and want that interface over what the current GNOME is.
  Cinnamon would probably be the most friendly as a new user, but I personally haven't used it in years and I'm not familiar with its current state.
- I personally use Cinnamon, which has a similar feeling to Win10. Very satisfied with it on my desktop. From what I've heard XFCE also feels similar to Windows, but I simply have just used Cinnamon ¯(ツ)_/¯
- It mostly just depends on how you want your desktop to look. They have screenshots of each on their website. Since it sounds like you have a new laptop, power won't be an issue for you. (If you were trying to run Mint on something with the power of a potato, a lighter DE would be a good idea.) Personally I love how Cinnamon looks and feels. It's pretty simple, but also modern and customizable.

Any Debian/Ubuntu or fedora based distro will do you fine. I personally ran PopOS when I built my computer earlier this year and didn't have any issues with it

I always recommend to beginners ElementaryOS. The name being coincidental. It is a relatively simple looking but very very elegant and polished interface. Give it a try.
- Good old I can't believe it's not macos
  
  Well, simple and clean appeals to people who don’t want to be overwhelmed. There’s a reason it’s pleasant.

I've never noticed any hate for Mint, it seems to be a pretty good option. It'll easily run on anything that was able to run Windows 10 (probably 8 too) and the default desktop environment Cinnamon is easy to navigate if you're coming from Windows. Even if you have some obscure piece of hardware with Mint being based on Ubuntu there's probably a tutorial you can follow to get it working.

Mint was my beginner distro and is what I recommend. In my experience I was able to find a solution for most of my beginner problems by searching for a solution for mint.

linux from scratch /s
Linux Mint is good, Pop_OS! is good, Fedora is good.

Install a few and see which one you like the most. You can install several distros at the same time and they'll all appear in the boot menu. When I was deciding which distro to use on my laptop, I was dual booting Debian and Fedora, with one /home partition shared between both of them.
Mint and Fedora are good choices IMO. Everyone is different though :)
- Some caveats, though: To share the same home folder safely, it's best to use the same desktop environment on both distros. Debian paired with Fedora makes it difficult to match the release numbers of the desktops, though, and there might be discrepancies with respect to user config files in the home folder, when you're trying to configure features in Fedora that aren't yet available in Debian.
  Also the system folder setup (locations of libraries and include files) is different between the two, so if there's anything in the home folder that's linked against libraries in one distro, it won't work in the other. Especially if you're going to compile anything in the home folder -- including stuff that package managers of scripting languages like lua and python themselves compile -- that could lead to major heaadaches.
  
  Good points. I was using KDE with both and didn't have any issues (even though Debian's version of KDE was older) but that might not work in all scenarios.
  I don't have compiled things in the home folder - they go in either /usr/local/bin or /opt.

TBH Ubuntu, or if you have an older/lower spec machine xubuntu

I dare you to install Gentoo
- Or Linux from Scratch?

TuxedoOS has been seamless, runs KDE, and all updates are checked for compatibility

Debian all day...
All these shiny new distros promising to make things easier and better... But nothing is easier and better than 30 years of rock solid stability and support.
Depending on how new the laptop is, it might not work on debian stable. Check your compatibility
From personal experience with a new laptop, the intel meteor lake platform didnt work well with debian stable

The first time in installed mint I ruined the partitions on my laptop. But that was on me.
Look at screenshots of default interfaces and pick your fave bug distro. Can't go wrong with fedora, Ubuntu, mint, pop_os etc. mint would be good since you have a friend who uses it. When you want to know how to do something you can ask.
I run arch btw