Way better than instant. Two parts water, one part oats. Boil the water, turn off the burner, add the oats. Sprinkle a bit of salt. Stir to make sure all the oats are wet, cover. Wait a few minutes.
While you're waiting, put whatever you want into a bowl - butter, syrup, brown sugar, cinnamon, bits of fruit, honey, peanut butter, jelly, etc. (Probably not all of those at once, but you do you.) Serve the oatmeal on top of the add-ons, mix.
I totally agree on the toasting, but note that it means the oats take longer to cook in the water. Also, I use a 2:1 ratio of water:milk instead of just water.
Also, also, I add a handful of rolled oats when the steel cut oats are nearly done.
You should saute onions and red bell peppers with spices like cumin, paprika, and chili powder and at that to the cooked oats. Even better if you saute a meat with it like kielbasa or sausage. Make it a savory oatmeal.
You can even go crazy and add an egg cooked over easy on the top. By far my favorite breakfast.