Home on the range

50/50 chance of getting murdered in the woods or seeing cows.
- i'm still waiting for this to happen to me.
  
  You just know this is the guys delusion from blood loss while the serial killer preps him to be eaten...
- Worth.
  
  Solid.
- "I'm gonna get so molested"
  
  Moolested*
- What are the chances of seeing cows in this scenario if you are from India?
  
  In Wisconsin it’s like 90/10. I’d guess probably similar.
  Someone invites me to look at/pet cows, I wouldn’t even think about negative ulterior motives, cuz there’s several dozen dairy farms within a half hour drive. Tho I would assume they were angling for free help.
  Now baby goats, as a draw, are 50/50. Way more likely to work, and way less common.
  Edit: words cuz I’m dumb

Baristas can get crazy connections lol. My friend had a wedding venue cancel and keep their deposit at the start of covid. Tons of arguments and calls and threats. His (now) wife is a barista and had a regular that was a lawyer, she mentioned it to him and sued the venue for their money back and more, pro bono didn't charge them anything 👌
- One of the many benefits of being peoples caffeine dealer.

Only part I don't buy is that they were like "ok fuck it" after work, like they were reluctant. Don't pretend you weren't working distracted all day, waiting to go play with those cows.
- I think the op meant that they weren't so sure IF there even are any cows to begin with - as in it might be a scam..that's how I interpret it anyway.
  Edit: nonetheless, cows are very cute and I'm jealous of this person.
  
  I took it as feeling maybe a little too eager and not wanting to irritate new cow friends despite "come on over any time". Is that like really anytime, or sometime in the future but same day may be weird,...nah, fuck it.

I grew up with cows. They're surprisingly similar to dogs. Just as playful, just not as bright. They're awesome.
- I had a family member that was a traveling cow inseminator and he loved cows. I was at a steak house with him and asked why he is eating a giant steak for dinner if he loved cows so much. He kind of just shrugged and said "without the steak, I wouldn't get to hang around cows all day"
  Spending part of my summer with him was illuminating. I bet beef would be way less popular if people got a chance to pet a cow regularly. Very smart animals, at least emotionally smart.
  
  family member that was a traveling cow inseminator
  I know what you meant, but the images this brings to mind...
  
  I love both cows and dogs, and I grew up around both. And I've eaten both.
- I had a pet cow growing up named Softy. We got him at a rural fair and because he looked frail and my stepmom felt in love with him. He just hung out with our dogs and pretty much through he WAS a dog. He played fetch, but didn't know what to do with the tennis ball when he'd get it.
  A couple of years later we realized to our horror that he was now a gigantic bull that wanted nothing more than to murder us for some reason. We gave him his own little pasture because he couldn't be trusted around the dogs or the house anymore. He ended up getting stolen one night after we had repeated refused requests to sell him to some guys that wanted to butcher him. RIP Softy you murderous beast. :(
- https://www.sciencefriday.com/segments/cowpuppy-book-cow-intelligence-emotions/
  From what I understand, they're at least as smart as dogs, if not more so. The guy/scientist who wrote "Cowpuppy" mentions they can recognize themselves and others in a mirror!
  
  Years ago, I went caving out in the sticks with an outdoors group. To change into my caving outfit, I went behind the end of a cornrow, next to a pasture fence. A group of three cows up the hill noticed, and moseyed down the hill to watch. It was pretty clear from their body language that they were bored and curious. (And also, voyeurs.)
  The lead cow mooed at me in a way that kind of sounded like a question. What the heck, I figured, and mooed back. I don't know what I said, but it was scandalous. The cows' faces looked like they were positively shocked, and they promptly turned around and marched back over the hill. It was like a real-life "My mother was a saint!" sitcom joke, but with cows instead of a foreign language.
  Yeah, I had no doubt that there was intelligence there.
  
  I would say it depends on the dog breed being compared to. There's a wide range of intellegence there.
- God explains some animals
- Wasn't there this guy that bred dog-sized cows? I think south america? What happened to it?
  Edit: dog-sized cows, not cow-sized dogs.
- Until the poop on your rug

If some stranger came up to me and promised me I would get to play with baby animals I would go too. Yea, that’s how I’d die.
- makes note

This is the cutest story I’ve heard all week. “Thank you cow couple” is the cherry on top.

Cows are basically just big doggos

I wish there were some animal sanctuaries near me I could volunteer at

Used to run dexters down around Saragosa.
- they're adorable and rather wee for cows

But, never turn your back on an angus cow.
- I've known some Angus that were plenty calm and/or friendly.
  but Never turn your back on a Chianina.
- But, never turn your back on ~~an angus~~ cow.
  Especially bulls.

🥰

Oh... I read crow but the very last sentence.