Texas Prevents People From Owning More Than 6 Dildos. Now Lawmakers Want to Ban Sex Toys at Walmart.

Is there a limit on total footage? Does a double ended dildo count as two? Is a Christmas tree of dicks ok since it's more than 6, but is Christian?

Yay! More small government and freedom!

The great Republican war on orgasms have begun.

Hypocrites! They do this tomfoolery but make classrooms hang up the approved lord and savior:

I don't know how to make a quote line but this one stood out to me and made me laugh.

"Parents do not consent to their children being exposed to obscene devices while shopping for toothpaste."

What stores sell toothpaste next to adult toys?

Government so small it can fit in your bedroom!

How were they enforcing this?

Yes. Texas bans the possession of or promoting use of more than six dildos.

It does make exceptions for people who have the multiples of the device for medical and law enforcement purposes.

Lmao. Police officers can legally use an array of didos for 'law enforcement'.

You'll be arrested if you cheer them on for it tho...

BUT if you can prove it's medically necessary; you're welcome to have a cornucopia of rubber cocks.

Is there a shortage of dildos in Texas that they need such laws to stop hoarding?

*trying to buy salad ingredients for the family cookout*

The cashier: sorry state prevents us from selling more than 5 cucumbers at a time.

How...how are they enforcing this?

Why are so many people using them in Walmart?

I’m guessing they are not limiting the number of guns you can own though.

This has very strong “If I can’t make my wife come, nobody will cum come!” vibes.

The One Star State is at it again. "Freedom" there is not really a thing since the government obviously owns the citizens.

There are definitely some Texas billionaires that own more than six politicians.

Will United Healthcare cover dildos if they are for medicinal purposes?

Sounds like the government wants to hoard most of the dildos to go fuck themselves. 🍆

Neo-puritanism needs to die. I'm getting excited because I think humanity is just generally getting fed up with control. We're done with this shit.

At least none of these people should be violent. They can have their views. But law is always violent. So it has no business being an extension of anyone's sexual views. If you violently impose your sexual perspective on others you are as good as a rapist in my book.

Snorted and almost choked on my coffee when I scrolled past this.

The worst part about this is that I'd rather Republicans waste time with pointless legislation such as this rather than something damaging that they could actually enforce.

Rofl, they were afraid for their right to bear arms instead of their right to bear dildos.

First, they came for the dildos, and I did nothing.

So... are there like, auditors? Does the government pay someone to go around and inventory peoples' sex toys? Do you have to register your devices? Are they serialized? Do you have to report them on your state tax return?

Who are these people whackjobs that spend so much time thinking about what other people are doing in their bedrooms?

Look, I have SIX perfectly fine dildos, all in their individual velvet pouches. My grandma even gives me a knowing wink when she sees them on my nightstand (she's very with-it, my grandma). But the minute I walk into Walmart and snag NUMBER SEVEN - BAM! 💥 The world implodes. Little Timmy starts twerking in the cereal aisle, the self-checkout beeps incessantly with unholy vibrations, and a rogue bag of gummy worms spontaneously transforms into a life-size silicone replica of the Lone Star State... it's CHAOS, I tell ya! This clearly-reasonable six-dildo limit is PROTECTING our precious Texas innocence. Seven just unleashes the primal urges, and nobody wants that, especially not while picking out a new can of Copenhagen. 🤠

#SixIsTheMagicNumber #TexasStrong #ProtectTheInnocence (and the Gummy Worms)

The solution is clearly to set up sex toy libraries.

...They would never interfere with libraries, right?

I would never have thought to go to walmart to buy a sex toy if I hadn't seen them somewhat prominently displayed on my way towards the vitamin aisle.

Besides banning the sale of sex toys, the Texas Obscenity Statute also specified the number of “obscene devices”—for example, dildos—a person could own: six. The number was not chosen at random, but rather because lawmakers assumed that people who owned more than six obscene devices that were identical or similar had the intent to distribute them.

Theoretically, it should be possible to have more than six obscene devices without by guilty of intending to supply them - cock ring, butt plug, fleshlight, dildo, strap-on, inflatable sheep, Ben Wa balls, nipple clamps and penis cage. All have different uses, all without intending to supply.

If supply was the concern (although I don't know why), perhaps criminalise that not the bottom drawer of my bedside table.

This is disrespectful to George Washington the founder of America who was mostly Dicks.

So its now illegal to have more than 6 bananas in your home in Texas?

Sigh, this is gonna be an awkward call to mom..

Ted Cruz ran out and is trying to hoard them all for himself.

Need to make a proposal to limit cross walls to a maximum of 6 crosses.

What if it was a dildo-gun?

IANAL, but this law is (probably) not currently enforceable due to (among others) Lawrence v. Texas.

However, that was explicitly named as being on the chopping block, so at best it's "not enforceable yet"

Hairbrush and shampoo bottle sales about to go through the roof.

This doesn't effect me, I don't shop at Walmart or have more than six holes.

Don’t want to start WWIII but even I and my fifty buttplugs were surprised to hear that WALMART was selling sex toys.

And yet they have such unearned pride as a bastion of freedumb.

If you get caught, just say its The Salad Mixxxer.

Oh, I am just cleaningholding all those for a friend.

Someone needs to make a Swiss army dildo.

The new top post in this community. I hope everyone is proud of themselves. I know I am.

Texas is weird.

For those curious to read the penile penal code see 43.23(f): https://statutes.capitol.texas.gov/Docs/PE/htm/PE.43.htm#43.23

They'll have to come and take them from my cold dead pu-... wait..

Policemen Josh and Wade showing up to a party:

Josh: "Alright Wade, let's make sure there are not more than 6 erections in there."

Rules for thee but not for me, eh Sen. Cruz?

Great, now where am I gonna find BestValue dildos

The lawmakers are afraid of the competition

Texas is ran by dildos so this is really just thinly veiled self preservation at this point

well hey you only have 3 holes to a person

Roflmfao!!!!!!

Guilty as charged!

Pretty sure you can’t be married more than 6 times either. Coincidence? I think not!

So how exes do they enforce this? Random dildo count inspectors? Dildo registration?

At first I was like "barbaric", but then I thought to myself that 6 dildos per person sounds abundant. I've decided to believe that they were about to fight an owner of 7 dildos and implemented that ban to reduce their power. Like "there are 7 of us and you have only 6 dildos what are you going to do" because the 7th dildo would be illegal.

And yes I know that the grounds of this ban are absurd and barbaric, I do wish hunger and pestilence upon those who voted it in, it's just that any discussion regarding it had to be hilarious. What are they trying to prevent by restricting the access to 7th dildo, gang wars?

Oh, good. Bob is still safe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fZkTd2-dAE (or your friendly privacy friendly service preferably)

what is this? nazi germany?

I was so fucking confused I kept seeing Tesla instead of Texas