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  • The Russian ports on the Black Sea are so absurd that if you encountered a setup like that in a video game you'd just quit because it's unrealistic.

    Scenario:

    Game: Ok, you've got a port that's open year round with access to both the Atlantic and Indian Oceans.

    Player: Yay, I set sail for the Atlantic.

    Game: You set sail, making good time across the Black sea. To continue to the Atlantic, you first have to pass through the Bosporous, a narrow channel that goes right through the biggest city of Turkey. You need to make it worth their while.

    Player: This is bullshit. Ok, I bribe Turkey, now am I in the Atlantic?

    Game: You've made it past Turkey. Are you at peace with Greece?

    Player: Yes... why?

    Game: Congratulations, you are able to pass the Agean sea. You have now made it to the Mediterranean sea.

    Player: Wait, I wanted to go to the Atlantic.

    Game: To go to the Atlantic, proceed to the Strait of Gibraltar. Are you at peace with England?

    Player: What? Wait, this is bullshit. Another strait? And isn't England up in the northern Atlantic? I'm at peace with Spain, France, Italy... what does England have to do with it?

    Game: England controls the Strait of Gibraltar.

    Player: This is bullshit, ok, I go to the Indian ocean instead.

    Game: Are you on good terms with Egypt, Yemen, Eritrea and Djibouti?

7 comments