the failed gambit that the dnc used to create our mess is making me thankful for the distraction of clocking back in; the work ennui is a preferable distraction to the election results anxiety. lol
starting every single doom binge election coverage watching democracy now first has helped me immensely with the fear and the anxiety comes from learning how far apart democrats are from reality and the seemingly insurmountable hurdles we have to overcome to bring them closer together.
Reading theory helps us analyze what's wrong with our society, how we can solve these issues, and gives us the ability to struggle for this change. I keep a Marxist theory reading list for beginners that I can link, if anyone wants it.
I found I couldn't do it. I have a set of traumas that means I go into a weird fugue state where I massively undercharge by an order of magnitude and take on every liability. I think it's some sort of rejection dissociation thingy, or like just trying to end the situation as quickly as possible. This meant I had made very little money and promised a lot, and also came to hate my hobby.
Now that I have a job, the stakes are much lower, I get regular pay, and I also pretty much never have to negotiate directly with clients.
It took a really long time to get that job though, given that job searching also requires skills I do not have