You can tell how they own an american restaurant instead of an italian one because they serve fettuccine alfredo and garlic bread.
There's an excellent episode of the Sopranos where they end up going to Italy. And even though their whole personality is "Italian" they find that they have nothing in common with actual Italians. That show is a masterpiece.
No they serve fettuccine afraido and garlic dread can't you read
torturelini,
spookghetti,
penne arra-bat-a,
Pizza Morguerita
and you can serve Vampolicella or Mortepulciano
veal pick-axe-a?
Ravi-holyshititsaghost
spaghouli and human balls
chicken marsaaaaaaaawe'reallgoingtodiela
wow, yeah i mean, the terrible ones really write themselves.
I'm not sure if human balls would be particularly appetizing
clearly you haven't dated enough good ladies then.
Where is this restaurant and how do I book a table?
you don't book a table.
you BOOOOOOoooOoOOk a table.
it's not a restaurant it's a restahhhhhhhhomghowlongdoesthisjokelaasttruelythisishellomgkillmerant
Man, this is the only explanation for the closure of the lone Italian place in town a few years back.
No Italian restaurants currently exist in a 50 mile radius.
Town's haunted now.
Zpoopa del giOHNO
Could also serve casu martzu. No name change needed, it's scary enough as-is.
