“I simply fell short of my values”: Lauren Boebert issues apology after being removed from “Beetlejuice” performance

Don't sell yourself short, queen. I think you nailed your values spot on.
- She definitely nailed something in that theater.
  
  HOLY CRAP you're not kidding (vaguely NSFW)

What specifically is she apologizing for?
Blowing a giant vape cloud in on someone’s head, smoking in front of a pregnant woman, jacking off a guy in public, dancing in a theater where everyone is sitting, flipping off the ushers, or lying about all of that stuff because she thought it wasn’t on camera?
- I'm sorry that i can't do whatever i want, and dont wat that other people can do anything
  
  "Sorry officer, I didn't know I couldn't do that."
- jacking off a guy in public
  Most people would be getting prosecuted for this
  
  She also had a boob out, so there ought to be an indecent exposure charge if nothing else.
- Can we add the possibility of snorting a mile of coke acting like that? Surely coke was involved. I'm not covering for her actions but ALL THAT (gesturing widely) has definite coke energy.
  
  My thought was ecstasy, especially with all the sexual contact. Coke needs maintenance to keep the high good, and a play would be too long for that. Ecstasy would have enough leg for the whole evening.

what values?
- "Do whatever you want, as long as you get away with it."
  
  Eh, she nailed half of that. Gotta count for something!
- Hate and fear mongering.

The past few days have been difficult and humbling, and I’m truly sorry for the unwanted attention my Sunday evening in Denver has brought to the community
“I’m sorry I got caught”
- Absolutely. Before the video, she lied about it and downplayed it and accused others about falsifying the accusations. Suddenly there's video and now she "apologizes" (she didn't really, it was a fake apology, she didn't say she's sorry for what she did, she basic said she's sorry others found it offensive, that's not an apology) and she's entirely quiet on all the lying she did beforehand about saying it was overblown.
  
  She didn't even really say she was sorry others found it offensive, it came off as saying she was sorry she got caught. I suppose that shouldn't be surprising given the GQP. None of them have any shame and are only "sorry" when they get caught.

Republican voters need to stop littering our politics with their trash.
- Have you seen some of those school board videos? This is representative democracy in practice.
  
  I hate that that is the truth of the matter. I will now go back to living in my carefully curated bubbke.
- Good luck with that...

How to describe the Boebert video. A sampling
NYT: " touching and carrying on with her date"
POLITICO: "appears to show Boebert and her male companion fondling each other sexually"
NYP: "groped ‘Beetlejuice’ date in heavy-petting session"
GUARDIAN: "eagerly groping each other"
SALON: "fiddling with each other's privates"
- Boobert got her hooters honked while she gave him the ole over the trouser arouser
  
  I believe a salute is in order for this!
  
  We're Honkers, we're better than Hooters...
  ...
  Do the honk thing.
  
  We used to call that a Levi's special back in college
- Fox news: Lauren Boebert removed from ‘Beetlejuice’ performance in Colorado after laughing and singing loudly
  Lol, their article is the most obvious case of burying the lede I've ever seen. No mention of the video until the last paragraph where it describes as "touching her partner"
  
  Yeah, at least Bill Clinton had a room.
  
  Which even as a downplay of her actions is unforgivable. You don't sing loudly during a performance, you're the audience.

Translation:
The optics of my public sexual act is super bad for my campgain strategy of yelling about the existence of trans people as inherently a public sexual act.

Honestly tho, how can you forget that you were vaping and a pregnant lady behind you was directly complaining to you about it? Didn't remember, my ass. (edit: and your date offers this pregnant lady an alcoholic drink. Can see why he's into her, they are both really dumb.)
- Lot of politicians suffer from amnesia, especially if they are in a hearing.
  
  Don't forget the handjobs in public places.
  
  or being questioned by law enforcement
- The staff even warned her about her behaviour. Didn't change.
  
  That’s the story of her political career. Being wanted about her behavior, and not changing it.
- It was probably weed vape
  
  "I'm so sorry, I have a low tolerance level."
  yeah, no shit

I hate everything about her, but I'm sure she's a nutter in the sack.
- I don’t know, she was groomed straight out of high school into her molester’s bed. She strikes me as enthusiastic but otherwise very awkward.
  
  That's my type.
- I wouldn't touch that with someone else's 10' pole.
- Based on the video, it looked like both of them were just kind of mashing stuff around. I wouldn't sleep with her or her date.
- And I could actually get into all the degrading things I normally have no interest in, because I could view her like most Republicans view all women.
  
  She would be an excellent hate fuck
- The sack over her head
  
  Ben Franklin would approve

Republicans on public sex with children present
she just had a moment of temptation, re-elect her.
Republicans on a democrat standing on the street doing nothing
IMPEEEEECHHH!!! SINNER!!!! Think about the children who WONT see!!!
- I think a better comparison is with trans perks merely existing.

Her values is calling black people the n word, underaged marriage, bribery, and whatever culture war is going on that week.
- Don’t forget, underage unwed pregnancy — her own son.

She went on to say she values her ability to not get caught on video.
- "I'm sorry that I didn't know there was video evidence."

I guess dude didn't finish... some values!

👏LOCK👏HER👏UP👏LOCK👏HER👏UP👏
- Seriously! She exposed herself and performed a sex act in front of children. She is an actual sexual predator and needs to be behind bars, full stop.
  
  I wonder what would happen if we called the local PD with tips about a sexual predator and sent them the video.
  
  Dust off the old firing squad boys

I’m just saying, this lady could have gone into porn, made a killing, kept her mouth shut, and been perfectly fine.
But she wanted power without understanding what that entails.
- kept her mouth shut
  Or wide open, if ya catch my my drift
  
  Ayoooo

How does one fall short of something that is infinitely lacking in stature?
- She only values one thing: not getting caught.

" I'm sorry I'm an asshole!"
- “No, you are not. You are sorry that you were caught on tape!”

Falling short of ones values is only possible if you actually have values. Which she doesn't.

Maybe her "values" require a happy ending.

Sigh. Her star is falling and she needs the publicity to stay relevant. I think she got booted out of some Nazi caucus or such. This "incident" was planned and she is getting what she wants. Indian chuds on /pol/ have a mummy fetish for her.
- I think it was the other Psycho Barby that got booted out of the Nazi caucus.

The author misunderstood her actual statement because of her slurring. What she actually said was, "I simply fell short on my vape-juice".

Where's the OnlyFans, Lauren, I'm like 80% sure you've got one somewhere
- Getting warmer...
  https://www.politicalflare.com/2021/09/it-appears-rep-lauren-boebert-had-an-explore-talent-modeling-actor-page-and-yikes/
  
  YES, there truly is hope!

“…fell short of ~~hiding my real~~ values.”

Please, your values are appallingly obvious lol
- They're hanging right out there it seems like.

How does one fall short of nothing?

Politicians poor behavior is always swept under the rug. We should demand better behavior from all elected officials.

Jacking a guy off in a theater is just short.

How can she fall short of something she doesn't have?

This twat regrets nothing.

“Everywhere that I go people are having a hard time buying groceries, affording gas, getting to work, paying for their child care, affording the homes that they live in— or the homes that they would like to live in. We have got to get the spending under control in Washington, D.C.”
What does any of that have to do with tightening spending in Washington DC? How will tightening spending help any of that?

Where's the porn actress equivalent for her, like Sarah Palin had?

Her values where in that guys pants and people wouldn't even give her a chance to find them.

I would assume a republican apologizing is problematic to the party.

Omg americans should have more escorts in their Parliament. #MAGA

Goddamn I read somewhere that she was an escort. Is it true? Hahahaha thats peak American stuff where a prostitute becomes a member of congress! Love it! Reminds me of an episode from south park. Bro someone find the rate she was going for during her escort days.
- I have zero problems with a prostitute becoming a congressperson.
  I do have a problem with a hateful, hypocritical piece of shit doing so.
  
  Nice bro. We need more people like you. I love prostitutes too. Lisa Ann for President !!
- It’s at best unproven. The claim comes from an outfit that digs dirt on their opponents- and many of the other claims they made about her had to be retracted outright.
  Edit: to the idiot that downvoted me- there’s enough bullshit to be angry about when it comes to Boebert, and it’s certainly fun to imagine she was a hooker. But there is zero evidence. it comes from the muckraker’s super pac whose own boss admits their work was “sloppy”.
  Pushing these claims is kind of like what republicans do. Be better than that.

Hey. She can see her wrong behavior and apologize afterall...
- For lying about vaping.
  She didn’t apologize for jerking off her date and getting grouped in full view of kids.
  
  I didn't say she would apologize for the big stuff.
  I'm saying she can apologize, she just won't for the big stuff.
  I'm personally more focused on her forcing abstinence only education while her son ruined a young girl's life.