He do be wriggling out of this jam

Trump's always equipped with a full estus flask
- Trump has miquela's broken rune so he can resist charms
  
  "Folks, I'm telling ya'- Marika, or as I like to call her, "Sleepy Marika", she messed the Elden Ring up real good. No, it's true, she really messed it up. The Lands Between are disgusting now, broken into little pieces, borders left unguarded. Disrespectful. Miquella has a solution, a yuge solution. Making Altus Great Again, I call it... Look he's here now on stage, look how eternally youthful and honest he looks folks! 1000 years of love, people, we're getting rid of the ANTIFA Golden Order losers!"
- He always makes the run to the moss seller in Undead Burg sewers first thing outta the asylum.

I am punching the mirror as hard as I can, but this ugly bastard will not leave my house, in fact, there seem to be more of him now

Materialism vs Idealism: idealism takes the L, again.
- The glass of water I just drank is more likely to affect the outcome of the election than this shit. I hate idealism
- I'd call this delusionism

Man what can be happening to do this surely Kamala hasn't sponsored any kind of genocide or anything that could bring down the threefold law.

Harry Potter and World of Warcraft have permanently sullied the minds of a very specific sort or person.

Blue Wave
{X}{U}{U}
Sorcery
Tap all lands you control.
Prevent the next X damage that would be dealt to target opponent this turn.
"VOTE blue no matter who!" -Lim-Dûl

I know a witch who is probably doing this. She's also getting signatures for a local Zionist politician.
- getting signatures for a local Zionist politician.
  sounds like a witch

Is that subreddit real or a joke?
- It’s a joke; they reinforce patriarchy.
- Dunno, but I just went on there out of curiosity, and there is a post from a person wearing a Kufiya and a free Palestine shirt proudly voting for Kamala, so I’ve got to conclude it’s a joke.
- It is not a bit.
- Like every single "ironic" subreddit, if it started out as a joke or just a place to chill it eventually got overrun with people who take it completely seriously.

You watch agatha all along and then you go off all main character wizardry and shit

A freezer spell? Cone of cold is decent I guess, but it lacks the range of a good old fashioned fireball.
- Ice storm does everything fireball can but also makes the impact site difficult terrain.
  
  Well yeah, there's no denying that, but it isn't Druids against the patriarchy, now is it?

I remember when that subreddit was first started, and it was full of communists and anarchists, who were interested in spooky occult shit.
It eventually got fucking swamped by liberals with the most asinine takes. So that's cool...