I have stopped trying to pass for cis. Now I just pass for "someone cis people try staunchly and vehemently not to look at," and it's nice.
I have stopped trying to pass for cis. Now I just pass for "someone cis people try staunchly and vehemently not to look at," and it's nice.
Looking great! Genuine cis question, when I come across fabulous looking trans people, I get really conflicted, I want to look and admire and wonder and praise, but I'm nervous that they'd really just like to blend in and not be ogled. I guess I often end up "staunchly not looking". What'd you prefer if it was you?
not op, but personally im never opposed so somebody complimenting me as long as it comes across as a genuine compliment (ex: i like your style/outfit/vibe) and not somebody just trying to hit on me or something.
(edit: lol actually i love to be hit on im a slut but shhhhhh)
Before I was on hormones and maybe in the first 6 - 8 months on HRT, I had so many usually cis, white, liberal women (one time a cis white liberal dude) come up to me and compliment my dress / skirt / whatever. I take it as a sign I'm passing more that nobody does that anymore, lol.
I think it's important how it comes across, like when you're complimenting cis people. So, context and what it is that you're complimenting is what I would pay attention to.
That being said, I love getting compliments haha.
Compliments! :D
It’s pretty nuanced, I think. I pass well enough (or not really, I don’t care anymore) and just want to be left alone. I’m sure the compliments come from a place of support, but it just feels like being lied to.
I’m probably an outlier. 🤷🏻♀️
I mean, I'm not out here wearing a t-shirt and jeans for compliments; I'm out here looking like a Final Fantasy protagonist cause it makes me feel good. Also cause I want other queer people to notice too.
That said, my wardrobe goes from naked, through one single pair of pajamas, to a vast and fantastic wardrobe of no pants whatsoever and insane outfits.
I've been talking a lot in therapy recently about how "passing" is becoming a moot concept. That used to be the goal of transition back in my day (2000's) but nowadays people are just free to pursue whatever their ideal self is regardless of what society deems as "passing". I struggled with this concept for a long time - I thought, "but what if the people around me know I'm Trans?" and he has been challenging me to question "Why would it matter?". Sure there's the obvious concerns of bigotry and violence, but in a safe space such as work or friendship, does it really make a difference?
The times that I can slip into that mindset of not caring whether I pass are the most free I've felt in decades. I hope all my transbros and sisters can achieve that.
As long as work is a safe space, it’s moot indeed. However, since work is tied to food and shelter in this absolute fucking bullshit hellscape boring-ass dystopia, being trans can fuck people up out of house and food.
Sorry, let my opinions get the better of me for a moment.
Nah that's absolutely valid. I feel lucky to be in a workplace with a union, a gay CEO, and a prominent LGBTQ club that ensures every employee has what they need to succeed. Earlier this year I pointed out that the complimentary gym doesn't have gender neutral showers and within a week met with the head of the legal dept and head of facilities to figure out how to implement one.
I'm delighted to read you consider work to be a safe place. I hope that is the norm for everyone.
I imagine for most it's not true though.
100%. I've worked in many places where I had to hide, and so I think I'm still stuck in that mindset.
Another of the CIS horde spilling in from All, checking in...
If you catch me staring, it's cuz you look like a Witcher. All you're missing is a sword or two.
10/10
Bonus pts for the bone conduction! I got a pair a few months ago and fucking love em.
I'm actually aiming for more of a modern-to-future Final Fantasy aesthetic! I've other outfit photos elsewhere buried in my post history.
(Oh and this weekend I'm wearing a literal white mage coat to the symphony!)
I'm not super familiar with Final Fantasy. Played FFX, but none of the others.
...not really sure why; I did enjoy FFX, just haven't ever gone beyond that. /shrug.
In any case, your wardrobe sounds like it's got high fantasy written all over it, which is pretty awesome!
Also my god, bone conduction is lifesaving. A dynamic score that only I can hear? Hell yeah.
If mine (Shockz Openrun Pro) are any indication, there's still some sound leak if they're turned up a bit, especially with the higher pitch sounds. Significantly less than with a normal headphone or ear pod, but definitely can't blast it without sharing whatever you're listening to with anyone around you.
I've seen them advertised as 'zero sound leak' which is a bit misleading.
Fuck yeah! I'm here for it
looks friend shaped to me.
srs 10/10, you look great ^^
You should start referring to people as "my brave traveler" and offer quests
Also you want a quest? Here’s a quest:
DRINK WATER
Reward: one body happiness.
Do this before the other person who has the quest does it.
Nah, I’m more into modern Final Fantasy, less so D&D and such.
I’m gonna be wearing this outfit, sprinting flat-out up the side of a skyscraper, holding some badass technosword, on my way to kill god, who’s looming over the city, amidst night time, rain, and city-wide panic.
It’s absolutely a vibe.
i like your funky glasses :D
I don't think I've ever seen/noticed a pair of asymmetric frames before, they're so hecking cool!
Yup I agree with glasses comment, I dig them!
Being cis I can't say I am bothered in the slightest, but sorry most people make you feel that way. Terrible that is the culture we have currently.
I love your look! Is that purple(?) thing like basically sleeves with a hoodie you pop over things? Whatever it is, it's fab and I want one.
Seconding. Love plague doc asthetic.
That’s actually my wife (not pictured) who rolls that aesthetic. I just try to dress like the protagonist of a yet-unreleased Final Fantasy. :D
It’s black, actually! Came from here: https://www.etsy.com/listing/548441223/dams-deluxe-apocalypse-militant-shrug?ref=yr_purchases
Granted, I’m wearing it in a less-revealing way than the creator intended.
This vest, in black, is over the top of it: https://www.mishuboutique.com/products/copy-of-neelix-v2-vest?srsltid=AfmBOoqfOAC5IcENC_N0wNjG6kBhafvPoHAXly_UiVuVEARdzQcNOkn4
Not pictured (but seen in older posts of mine) is: https://www.mishuboutique.com/products/leather-eclipse-silver
That shrug (TIL lol) is so cool, but now that I see that the vest is full length I honestly don't know which I love more!
If I could afford it (and left the house more than once in a blue moon), my wardrobe would be full of these kinds of pieces. 😍
(E: also - why the fuck would anyone downvote you?? 😂)
Hell yeah!
Well intentioned cis outsider here, so I hope this comes across in the spirit it's intended.
For better or worse, I can imagine that this decision would ironically make many people more comfortable, as they wouldn't experience the same level of perceived gender ...dissonance(?). Whatever the case, you don't need me to tell you that it's certainly not your job to adjust your identity or presentation to please people, and it's a rad look - I don't think I could help but take a bit of an admiring look tbh.
But don’t get me wrong; I’m not giving up; I’m very much she/her, but that’s more in a sense of “I’m just not gonna dress like the women around me, I got my own style to maintain,” and that style simultaneously filters out most cis folk, and gives queers something to compliment, an easy in to start talking with me.
Self-selection at work!
With a look like that, you strike me as the last person to give up tbh.
Whatever the case, I appreciate people with the... whatever it is to express themselves like you - even if I'm a vanilla cishet black T and jeans everyday kinda guy - selfishly, the fact that you are who you are and do what you do gives me hope that we're (painfully slowly) creeping forward toward better things as a society... the kind of nonsense you endure notwithstanding.
Don't change for anyone - you seem rad as-is.
I dig the glasses!
"Passing" is becomming increasingly irrelevant as even cis folk are increasingly ignoring gender norms. Just try to look how you want to look and fuck what other people think.
Also are those the newest gen aftershokz? If so how do you like them? I really need to get myself a new pair and I've been looking at those.
THEY HAVE ACTUAL FUKKEN BASS YO
I forgot how some of my music used to sound like with my old V-Modas (which I stopped wearing outside cause they're too heavy, isolating, and they detract from my aesthetic.)
Ok, you've sold me. I'm getting a pair. Thank you.
I currently have the old gen 1s and my biggest complaint has been that there's no bass basically at all. That and the buttons have finally quit working after 3 years of near daily use.
I'm cis, and I hate any type of attention, so I'm with you!
Plus, you look great!
Joke's on you, I try staunchly and vehemently not to look at cis people too.
PS: Amazing drip
Everything I’ve got is drip. Nothing casual. 180mph, all the time, all gas no brakes.
Those glasses are cool!
Cool glasses tho
I mean, people don't question cis women (as much these days) who don't try to look feminine/masculine. The same applies to trans people - however much makes you feel comfortable matters.
Younger people just don't care as much, which is great.
The asymmetrical glasses tell me you're a fellow PC looking for group.
Though second on calling other people traveller
I’m slaying gods out here.
Do your glasses have Bluetooth headphones built in? Kinda looks like it.
Those are bone conductors (that I’ve doctored the logo off of), and they keep a soundtrack on me. I just like music a lot! They’re not part of my glasses though.
Oh it's you! I remember your name from reddit. Used to spend some time on the femboy subreddit. Cool style you got there.
I guess I fall outside cisdom, but your kit would have me staring unsubtly!
Gorgeous! Love the asymmetrical lenses
Questioning my cisosity because you have a look so endlessly fascinating i could stare all day