Emisar D4v2. That is the answer.
My gooner brain read this as "fleshlight".... I need to
he's just a guy who's autistic for flashlights why are you all being so mean
his point about the ui needing to be simple is immediately clarified by his allusion to their lack of flashlight enthusiasm or experience (not any disdain for the female brain)
much better people to bully
yeah Idk why people are so bent up about the interest in flashlights and not the funny part about needing a specific kind for women lol
I like to imagine the person is just complimenting their strong mothers, aunts, sisters, etc. Obviously they deserve the right tool for the job, not some chintzy product that is colored pink. So many companies, which once made reliable products, no longer make anything worth the paper money needed to purchase them. Plus it's a flashlight, less features means less ways to break, so it really needs one or two buttons. Some of the best tools are simple. At least the person didn't use feeeemale as a noun.
Probably a chud, though, but I like to give the benefit of the doubt.
This is what happens when someone is so hollowed out by hyperconsumerism that buying a fucking flashlight becomes a substitution for an identity.
This sad motherfucker soyfaces over flashlights like they were funko pops and knows more "boutique" flashlight brands than he knows people.
He has strong opinions on every minute detail of his purchases like the bevelling on the glass rims or the best method to turn the fucking light on.
He probably follows the companies' management on twitter and has intense opinions on the companies, in the way a lib redditor will know every minutiae of his political party's niche actors and figures.
A perfect consumerist zombie with no thoughts or actions that aren't filtered through consuming his Product(tm).
Absolutely horrifying.
I got sucked into the flashlight subreddit years ago and have a small collection (11) of cool lights. I have some that can actually start fires, customizable UI, lots of fancy shit. I will say, having a good flashlight has actually saved my ass and likely helped me save lives more than once when happening across car accidents. I literally helped outfit a small group of people to rescue a husky that got out in the middle of the night one time. Power outages and camping too of course.
Do I need all the ones I have? No, and there's probably only 3 that I would keep if I sold them off. But they're fun things to tinker with, the charm wears off after a while though. Some people go on that subreddit and just show off their disposable income to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars, individual lights that cost $1k+, it's wild.
In my oppinion it never hurts to always have a few tools at hand. A knife, a light, and something that can be improvised as a screwdriver or a hammer is ideal (most of the time that may be the knife and a sturdy flashlight). Man or woman or anything in between or out of bounds, does not matter, having things, when they are needed, is always helpful.
Ofc you could also go the "survival" route and pack survival kits and emergency bags, to have everything for every opportunity at hand, but that may be overkill.
Women enter the "big strong" category once they have enough physical strength to hold a normal-sized flashlight.
Flashlight... UI?
Some have many modes (high-mid-low beam, fade output, lock switch,... A lot) but most only have 1 push button - the combination of hold / click / double-triple click can get complicated.
My Thrunite has "only" 4 main functions that I use, and probably at least 2 or 3 more that I am not aware of.
Disclaimer: I'm a tech for theatre, I live in the dark and use it all the time!
No, I don't get the gender part either. Tho I would go with rechargeable for someone not used to them, it's easier to plug when needed rather than cry because the batteries are dead and the shop is closed.
My thoughts exactly. How many buttons/functions does a flashlight need?
Serious, use everyday:
- ultra-low 2lm output for crawling in aisles, not bothering/disturbing anyone
- ultra-high 2000lm for pointing at things, and for emergency illumination where the brightest, the best (point at ceiling to not blind anyone)
- fade-up or down the mid-range for general work situations where ambiant light isn't sufficient (or you're just getting old, uh)
Some people would argue about the strobe and S.O.S functions out in nature, or even sell the 2000lm as defence against aggression
Very low, low, medium, high, turbo
Enthusiast/custom lights may have more complicated lights that have different patterns, custom programming, presets, etc
Isnt he kinda implying the other flashlights would be too complicated for women or I'm reading too much into it
Never underestimate how confusing people can make a basic task.
Some flashlights and a brightness feature. I’m sure that’s too difficult for a woman to figure out…
Can confirm, I know a woman in person and she definitely wouldn't get flashlights.
mfw gender
Theres too much Yang Energy in the light of a flashlight
A woman should use the Yin Light of the moon to navigate at night
you can go onto so many places where people will argue about like... the water taste in new york vs boston and form a mob to kill you if you have the wrong opinion
Okay...to be fair, tap water tastes wildly different in different places. And the place I'm from tastes the best.
is that only in the US lol
My aunt and uncle went to Lebanon to visit his extended family. They were extremely lovely hospitable people to my Aunt and Uncle. They were also visibly disturbed that my aunt and uncle pronounced words like a Syrian, the Arabic tapes they were learning from were Syrian. Also apparently it is very bad to buy Syrian Za'atar. Based on the way my Aunt told the story they'd absolutely be willing to throw hands over who makes the best Za'atar. So, I think feuding over niche inconsequential things is pretty universal.
There is a direct correlation between my masculinity and the size flashlight I use. It’s biology.
Complicated UI? It's a torch, or "flashlight" as this guy calls it. It has like, 2 buttons at most, maybe a button and a twisty thing on the end. I don't think this guy knows what "complicated" or "ui" means.
He means shit like this
What about the vibration setting?
But really, it amazes me the fact that people assume woman can’t figure out how to use tools or appliances. My wife was repairing drywall the other day, she spent the week prior watching YouTube videos and reading about different methods. It’s not hard to read, comprehend, and utilize the knowledge in order to build up a skill, in fact it’s the same way the manly men would handle it.
I wish they had more complicated UIs because having to cycle through the modes with one button on things fucking sucks.
I don't think they can make them too complicated, because they're a tool designed to be used in the dark, so having a complex UI would make it really difficult to use (even if you're a big brained alpha chad man)
Oh my goodness, as a woman I'm so glad A MAN is there to make sure a freaking flashlight doesn't come with a too complicated UI for my lady brain...
what kind of flashlight has a complicated UI
Ones running on Anduril 2
I have several flashlights with customizable and flashable UI. It's called Andril, there's others out there. There's various beacon modes, battery check, timed dimmer, customizable floor and ceiling brightness, thermal limiters, etc. Kinda becomes a necessity with some of my lights as some can actually start fires.
I have a bunch of lights...
Why? How many could you possibly need.
Having small, cheap lights all around the house, car, backpack, etc. is pretty useful. The ones commonly sold at grocery stores often only run on alkaline which leaks before you can actually use them
Having small, cheap lights all around the house, car, backpack, etc. is pretty useful.
But you have a light in your pocket 99% of the time. I cant think of single time I've been caught without it and needed a light. Can you give me an example that justifies having several small flashlights scattered around the house.
which leaks before you can actually use them
Right, because you have too many light laying around...
How big is your house anyways? You can't fumble your way to the kitchen cabinet or wherever. Are you walking around in a giant mansion in the dead of night traversing long hallways and desolate corridors to find the fuse box. I'm sorry, it doesn't make sense to me.
What people need is a powerbank, that way you can watch movies while the power is out or call the emergency service or... use it as a flashlight,
Replace a by e and everything becomes ten times funnier
Get the nitecore flashlight so you can host impromptu raves
I lost my nitecore flashlight keychan, I was so devastated had that thing for almost 10 years.
Why would you need a strobe setting for a flashlight?
It's funny. When someone asks you to hold the light so they can work, you turn on the strobe setting and goes on a rant about saving batteries. Drives them absolutely bonkers.
I can be used as a distress signal
I forgot that people camp and hike
Impromptu dance party
Mark your position in a rescue situation, combining very strong light output and limited power usage to have it effective for a long time
Tactical scenario: You're on your way from point A: the treat'n'slop to point B: your suburban MacMansion. As you're reaching from the supersized slurp-slop and a squirrel runs across the road (for some reason there's still pockets of resistance between out settlement where animal life still exists. Someone failed at their main mission to keep our trade routes safe, but I digress.)
What happens: You swirl and find yourself with a blown out tire on your mega pickup. No worries, just climb out of the car to change the tire, it's just a meter or so, you can make the jump.
S.T.O.P!
What's this, your old sports ball injury is acting up from the elevated stress levels. First it stopped you from making the team, then it stopped you from making the border guard, and now it's threatening your life. You don't have enough paracord on your lighter for a makeshift rope ladder to make the climb. Neither your knife, nor your backup ankle multi-tool is big enough to thrust into the side of the truck to make a step so you could climb down. It would snap from the load.
You're stuck.
You could reach for the phone, sure. But that would mean opening the Faraday pocket and reveal your location. And in order to access the Light Emitting Diode on the back you'll need to remove the EMP-protection case on your iPhone. No dice.
All that remains is your single, ultra-bright tactical 500mah 70lumen $300 titanium key-chain flashlight. You can turn it on and wiggle it back an forth to signal other cars zipping by.
S.T.O.P!
Turning that thing on will drain the batteries fast. You don't know how long you'll be stuck on this main road. But you remember from hours of pouring over the manual, testing several.. Nye, dozens of flashlights, watching probably 100s of review and unpacking videos that this one comes with a S.T.R.O.B.E. function already programmed into it.
10 min later, a fellow patriot stops and lend you assistance.
Scenario over.
so you can put it up against this guys eyeball
Yes. See Alan Wake for details.
don't turn the lights off, problem fixed😎
Avril Lavigne out here making the dang flashlight UIs all complicated
