I feel this pretty acutely. But I've tried to change the way I approach it. When I randomly remember my cringe moments, and I start feeling like I'm going to be obsessing, I try to think about how I'd react if it was a friend of mine telling me about some stupid thing they did forever ago instead of me. That can be enough sometimes for me to stop and say (sometimes out loud, it helps) "That was forever ago and yeah, it was stupid, but you learned." And it helps. I can't always move past it, but it seems like it works more often than it doesn't. If that makes sense.
Yeah, you did some stupid shit. But guess what! If you did it more than 7 years ago, biologically speaking you're technically a whole-ass different person now. I don't know if this will help anyone, but I hope it does.
The Cringe of Theseus
Did you drop the glue on your crotch too in first grade? That's going to hunt me forever.
I hope you are able to outrun it one day. Or even perhaps out smart it. Idk, I've never been on a hunt. I assume those would be ways to survive.
The crutch full of glue finally catches me and then I'm stuck to it and then I wake up doctor.... doctor? 💤. Ok I'll come back tomorrow.
Forgive yourself for past mistakes,
and things you did not know.
Your errors guide your victories;
they ache so you can grow.
Happy the man, and happy he alone,
He who can call today his own:
He who, secure within, can say,
Tomorrow do thy worst, for I have lived today.
Be fair or foul or rain or shine
The joys I have possessed, in spite of fate, are mine.
Not Heaven itself upon the past has power,
But what has been, has been, and I have had my hour.~ John Dryden
Ah, good! I don't need to worry about the aches
What's that from? I like it!
Me fucking around in chat gpt until I had something good to repeat to myself in times like this. It turns out it's actually pretty good at common meter rhyme, the trick is to ask for 5 iambic pentameter couplets at a time, then split them at the eighth syllable into those 4 8686 syllable lines. I also usually specify "casual language" and "natural word order." You ask for five or so options for each verse so you have some ideas for words to swap around until something sounds good. I've been thinking I need to write a proper ballad about some characters at some point but I haven't got round to it.
That one time I called my teacher "mom"... 😭
I still frequently remember the childhood trauma I experienced from ages 3-4. By third grade I was already very well experienced in being numb to everything and remembering nothing(other than the worst shit I've done and a bunch of cringe).
3rd grade me was stupid af
Im stupid too, but im smarter than him
That's not what he said
Jeez don't set the bar too high
One of the benefits of adhd is that my memory sucks. It also helps that third grade was 40-something years ago. I have one or two memories of third grade, and one of them is of the space shuttle challenger exploding. RIP.
I don't know if that's ADHD, your brain just might have learned to willingly forget painful memories. I know mine does.
That’s probably true too.
I don't...
... but alot happened since then
