TIL Morrissey wrote a novel that was published in 2015. It got a ton of negative reviews and won the "bad sex award for love scenes" that year.
TIL Morrissey wrote a novel that was published in 2015. It got a ton of negative reviews and won the "bad sex award for love scenes" that year.
Singer’s description of a ‘giggling snowball of full-figured copulation’ helped him gain dubious victory
The love scene in question:
At this, Eliza and Ezra rolled together into one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.
More review snippets here. One includes the line, "do not read this book." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_the_Lost#Reception
bulbous salutation my dudes
Bogus!
Most non-non-heinous.
It's like he wrote an already weird sex scene description, then right clicked every word and chose the last synonym on the list.
Someone should start a community for that.
There was a literary movement called Oulipo that did things like that. What comment-OP described would be a variant of a technique called "n+7": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oulipo#Constraints
What did he call it first then? A large hello?
Bulging greeting
He’s said publicly that he hates sex, so I don’t know what anyone was expecting.
Wtf did I just read…
Poetry.
HORNY LEVELS APPROACHING 60 PERCENTAGE POINTSThis better be satire.
It has to be
I recall there was a dramatic reading of this text many years ago...
ROFL! That was hilarious!
One can imagine him struggling to imagine the scene well enough to write it, then going to a toy shop, buying a Barbie and a Ken and spending the next half hour mashing them against each other in an attempt to visualise it.
I bought it on account of hearing how bad it was. I wasn't disappointed. It's like The Room in book form, but with unnecessarily flowery language. Brilliantly shite.
Had young Morrissey known how pathetic old Morrissey would end up, he would no doubt have written an incredible soul searching song about it.
"Sixty, racist and dumb", or something.
That's the worst writing I've ever seen. This guy writes for a living? Do people enjoy his works?
Edit: no, and no.
"hello, fellow sex havers"
Falls completely flat without Johnny Marr's guitar work.
If you read that in Morrissey's voice with "How Soon Is Now" as an earworm, it is slightly titillating.
ymmv
I don't want to kink shame.
All I know is I don't want anyone's breasts doing a barrel-roll across my howling mouth.
I assumed that it was like motor-boating except with 360 degrees rotation, which is definitely a normal and not at all weird thing
All I know is I don't want anyone's breasts doing a barrel-roll across my howling mouth.
Damn. There goes a potential match!
Have you considered providing the chesticles in such a scenario?
Sudden melancholic guitar riff
I've neen dying at "wacked and smaked" for 10 minutes
He's hackin', wackin' and smackin'!
That’s a sentence
Can someone feed that quote into the new, anything goes image generator? I wanna see what a bulbous salutation looks like
Who is Morrisey?
A musician. Like Cher, he's known by only a single name (though his birth name is Steven).
I also have it on good authority that he does, in fact, ride a cock-horse...
A sort of human endurance test of preening wankery. There was a kind of contrary fun about him until he stopped being coy about his racism.
What is Google?
I am going to guess he's just borrowing from something from his past but has trouble translating it into something people would more traditionally get. But ultimately, I don't know too much about Morrissey - other than at one point he was liked culturally (by those who listened to him) and then there was a sharp turn in which he is now greatly disliked. I enjoy The Smiths, although I'm not gunna lie and be absolutely honest in that I found them as an adult. But all things aside I am wondering if it's because he is quite vocal about his opinions and they are quite unfavorable. And once you are seen as an "enemy of the status quo" you are open for ridicule as a whole.
But also he gave things a go. Eh.
But I do know he spoke out against meat and the tories. So eh. But someone else is probably way more tuned in on this as a whole over <<< moi.
He's kinda a shithead. And by all accounts enjoys being seen in that light. IMO he claims more than his share for the success of The Smiths. Just listen to any Johnny Marr solo songs and it's clear where their sound came from.
I literally started reading this and I just don't care enough to have this information floating around my head. I don't like celebrity worship. But I also hate bullying. And I consider sitting around laughing at people that. So that's why I figured I'd state something. Not so much because I want to defend Morrissey. More so because he did a thing, let sleeping dogs lay. Who gives a crap? And people can believe in whatever they want, as long as they're not plowing in to others. I do agree that celebrities should be more responsible with their beliefs. But I also think people are entitled to their opinions even if they're absolutely drenched in shit. I've got nothing else. You want him to fade? Don't bring him up. But bullying is for chumps regardless of how it's done.
