BREAKING: Elon Musk says two people have attempted to kill him over the past 8 months

narcissist vs narcissist. GO!

Muskrat is a floundering parasite who’ll latch himself onto the current big thing in a desperate attempt to put the spotlight on him. This was an especially pathetic case considering he was trying to one-up MAGA Jesus

1: the pizza guy getting his order wrong
2: the plane location guy making a new account after being booted off twitter

I assume that one of them was the flight tracker guy who he said was trying to get him killed.

“They would have got me too, but I outsmarted them by wearing my cowboy hat backwards”

New #metoo movement?

Almost crashing your bazinga cars isn't surviving an assassination attempt, Elon

we should talk about Elon then .. he had 2! attempts .. its unfair towards elon..

Massive Dermott from Venture Bros energy

They just don't make assassins like they used to

Bro is more attention hungry than Homelander

Oh noes! Anyways.....

I can't find it rn, but there was a onion article that was like "Ms. Rowling, you say the transgender community has made actionable threats against you? | Yes, I was advocating for their complete destruction last week and one of them said something mean to me in a Twitter reply." That's what elon considers an attempt on his life. Just like how he considers riding his epstien jet "working".