The borderlands movie is gonna suck azz isn't it...
It'll be fine for whoever hasn't played through the games but kinda seems like they hacked up the source material and shat into its dying carcass.
Kevin Hart is playing Roland who's 5'11". Lilith is 22 being played by Cate Blanchette who's in her 50's. I guess Jamie Lee Curtis fits the aesthetic of Tannis but in the trailer doesn't exhibit the same mannerisms. And then claptrap is voiced by Jack Black but has a filter on to sound more like the goober anyways. Maybe it's the in me but I'm really thinking this is gonna suck. Like they could've gotten Terry Crews for Roland, Brandon Rogers for claptrap(just someone a little unhinged and funny as hell) , some youngish, mildly attractive white chick for Lilith, I guess krieg is fine just needs to be slightly slimmer, I guess the tiny tina is ok too but there's not enough energy imo. And the rest of the cast might work but there's nothing about them in the trailer. And it feels like they just used the characters like dolls for a script they came up with set in that universe. Like why not expand upon the lore either before we meet them on the bus, or in between 1 and 2 similar to the presequel, or between 2 and 3 (I never played the tell tale games... ) or just really anything else. They could've followed other wacky vault hunters on other planets and could've had them interact with the main cast of 1 2 and 3, depending on when they wanted to set the story. Idk it just seems like a lack of creativity in all departments involved in the making of the movie. I might pirate it tho just to see how bad it really is.
It's just slop but it always happens to the Vidya Game movies. what're y'all's take on it? Am I just
I lol'd. Uhhh. They have a throwaway gag of testing a battalions worth of guns and only finding four worth keeping? And like keeping like one or two that are under leveled but still unique enough to keep around and starred so you don't accidentally throw them away? I feel like BL would work waaay better as an anime though especially given that its cell shaded and already has a cartoony feel to it.
Fallout is kinda interesting in that the games did a great job establishing a setting but the specific stories that take place aren't really integral to it's fallout-ness
Lilith is 22 being played by Cate Blanchette who's in her 50's.
How much of this character being 22 is because gamers riot if they cannot masturbate to the women on the games, instead of being young being part of the narrative of the character?
She's quippy but still professional I guess? Like it's not my coomer brain talking (haven't had that happen at all yet here, or as far as I'm aware). You just have a stiff older lady trying to play a young badass with magic powers and she's not giving that same chill and relaxed but could fuck you up energy.
Lilith is a cliched sort of grindhouse/action movie heroine: a sarcastic, sadistic badass who's believably athletic. There are probably some 50-something actresses who can pull that off, but Cate Blanchette bringing "someone's mom, going through a mid-life crisis" energy is just such a bad choice.
Grabbing big name actors that they could get and who weren't busy, regardless of what the role needed was such a bad, quintessentially Hollywood choice. They should have gotten literal nobodies and made a schlocky grindhouse b-movie out of it, not good but like fun bad spectacle slop instead of a baffling "how did this even get made?" make-work project for some random big name actors.
The casting choices being way out of line with the source material is a giant red flag. It's not a meaningless nitpick like when a characters race is changed (and their race never informed the character). It's that the vibes of the characters do not fit the actors and the trailer doesn't show them modifying themselves to fit their roles. Roland especially, he is a straightman, the opposite of Kevin Hart.
The physical characteristics of the actors hired isn't why it's going to be dogshit.
The fact they couldn't even scrape together a mediocre trailer (which there are huge organizations DEDICATED to the art of pumping out trailers) is a sign it's going to suck.
They also completely fucked up by not getting this crapshow out before Furiosa even though it was filmed 3 years ago is a sign it's going to suck.
The writer (Craig Mazin who got awards for The Last of Us the TV show) HAD HIS NAME REMOVED FROM THIS MOVIE is a sign it's going to suck.
The fact they are trying to "adapt" the games at all, instead of just do what Tales from the Borderlands did.. and just do their own wacky adventure on a wasteland planet that is said to hold ancient alien treasures along with more recent human treasures from all the failed attempts to get the alien treasures, combined with the magical resurrection technology that eventually brings everyone back to life (maybe minus a few brain cells or a few dollars or maybe too late) can BE a fun premise for a movie.
A little tho. Like are we gonna have Kevin Hart play Micheal Jordan or Wilt Chamberlain? Like have the funny man do funny movies instead of making him try playing the tall straight man. It's just a whole mess that yes him being short, cate being old, yada yada, isn't the sole reason it's going to suck, but someone remotely familiar with the source material will be able to see at a glance that it's going to be a steaming mound of horseshit and not have to do any further sleuthing. And yeah that's kinda what I wished they did instead just go the tell tale route (I've seen snippets of it while binging bl slop). Maybe cover the corporate wars? The immediate aftermath? The crackening(idk what it was called, basically when Pandora had it's vault opened and eridium spilled everywhere). The sealing of the destroyer. There are so many story beats they could've focused on that weren't explored in the games at all to avoid any comparison to the games.
https://youtu.be/WDlBirYlyAg?si=38bMGBqNpnhEgiZ3 tales from the borderlands works better, and the needledrops in the games were more interesting than the Movie trailer.. which also weirdly has a LOT of overlap with the 1 minute clip from IGN.
The thing is, always expect franchises and adaptations to be shit.
The only reason to ever be interested is if they accidentally give control to people with interesting ideas like Bakemonatagi anime series being given to a director who hates conventional angles or doing anything straightforward, or Greta Gerwig doing Barbie (but also it's still inside of a system that doesn't want interesting things)
this movie was cooked from the start, the director Eli Roth was Work for Hire and managed to shoot and release another movie in between the filming and release of this.
The whole movie exists because of Sunk Costs, Borderlands 3 wasn't really a big hit but things had been bouncing around.. and likely that Embracer group money was what was needed to push the movie from maybe to Sure. but then you know.. Embracer group went poof
For real... No one is going to touch the IP after this flops hard. They've been making marvel movie after marvel movie and this is exactly where they could've used Jon Whedonites to write a script for this movie... It didn't need to be on Pandora either, could've trotted from one locale to another changing up the scenery from mostly desert planet(Pandora), to city planet (promethea), to swamp planet(Eden-6), or literally any unexplored planet that has yet to be thought up. And they didn't need to stick with any particular character save for Claptrap since they're a mass produced model of robot. Just have a good trailer following about 4 - 6 wacky vault hunters and tag alongs and boom every fan wants to watch it and surely non fans would get sucked into a fun quippy action movie about treasure hunters.
The casting is terrible and weird and probably the result of some other negotiations and deals, but setting that aside it also just looks bad. Like visually it looks like dogshit. Bad cinematography, bad choreography, bad effects. It looks like if Uwe Boll was given a bigger budget and modern CGI.
It doesn't even have like shitty B-movie charm, it looks like some kind of weird make work project for some big actors who don't have anything else on their plates right now where they're spending too much and playing it too straight for it to have some charming schlock to it.
Borderlands should only be adapted as some kind of low-budget, straight-to-cable grindhouse series with nobodies, something like Blood Drive.
Yep this was kinda my thoughts on it. Should've been mad max esque with a bunch of talented nobodies that throw in a few quips here and there, with the most famous of them being the voice actors for echo logs, echo net w.e. and or maybe an A list for cameos, ala Deadpool style. That is borderlands though huh... Mad max, Deadpool, and a smidge of Halo, blended until smooth
It looks like someone took a rejected script, had an LLM shit a Borderlands summary off of Wikipedia across it, and then they tried to save it by throwing whatever star power they could afford at it in desperation of getting non-fans in the seats.
I usually like anything he's in so I'm sure he'll be fine in it, it's just the vibes I'm getting from hearing his voice put through a filter that's a little disappointing.
Lmao. Roland the bitter reluctant father, krieg the overprotective uncle, Lilith the exasperated mother, and Tina the rambunctious teen, and Tannis the wine Aunt. I know it's usually vodka Aunt but she doesn't seem to be a mess and a bit classier.
1st becomes a slog after sledge I feel like, 2nd is fantastic imo but not yet fully realized due to when it came out, the 3rd is good but does seem to be written poorly in spots and some characters as well, but the gameplay is the best imo with being able to parkour a lil and slide, and again I haven't played any tell tale game let alone when they wore BL's skin, so can't comment on that either. Presequel was eh, to me atleast so if you do ever wanna dip your toes in and try again, skip this one until you want to play it through for the story.
I will say grinding for guns and equipment isn't that fun (I don't really grind for weapons though, mainly side quests and eridium) so hopefully they fix that in 4. But if it's not your jam maybe Tiny Tina's wonderland would be more your speed, but then again they make a lot of in jokes using previous va's and I'm sure there's more but I've hardly played that one, only played it at some ex 'friends' place.
Maybe get a few people to play through it all, it is centered around playing with others after all. No rush though. I will say the commentary on capitalism through the interplanetary corporate wars and it's resulting fallout is
For me it's part manlet, part type casting error. Roland is supposed to be tall and stoic. So stoic he's kinda awkward and rigid, a foil to how easy it is for Lilith to converse with just about anyone in a casual manner and how she can find a bit of levity even after having to phaseshift a whole flying city to avoid it being mortar'd to pieces.
i think a lot comes down to how charming blanchett is beyond the trailer reel, it's pretty outside her wheelhouse but she looks alright from that. i'd kind of love for a posh serious actress to have an action shlock turn
eli roth directing though alright actor, pretty big 'presence' ig in the horror scene but i've never been a fan of his direction & he's personally a gross dude
some youngish, mildly attractive white chick for Lilith
this makes sense though, at least from my read they made her the main character, because the main character in the game is interchangable & mutable you had to pick and lead with a heavy hitter
Yeah, Lilith being the mc isn't an issue it's just who they picked to play her. She's basically spiderman but instead of spider powers, she can flicker in and out of existence while creating a blast that'll do some kind of elemental damage (I've never played her but that's pretty much the gist). Like maybe Margot Robbie or the main actress in the menu, or just any actress that gives off spider(wo)man vibes with how she greets, jokes, complains, etc. And she doesn't have to cater to the coomer brain by being hot as hell like she is in the game, just idk reasonably attractive to warrant showing off some skin to show off the siren tattoos and have that shit glow.
cate blanchett is attractive tho she's aged like charlotte rampling
i'll refrain from asserting whether she acts good in it just based on the trailer but it wouldn't be bizarre if she pulls it off, she's very awarded and talented lol
It might be fun slop, but I'm not expecting much out of it. Obviously, they're butchering the "story" but it might at least be funny with jack black as claptrap.🤞 Tbh, at no point have i ever thought borderlands would need a movie anyway.
Yeah I agree it never needed a movie, maybe more comics and games. Obviously now that a movie exists, I'm going to compare it relentlessly to M. N. Shamalan's ATLA and pine for a better rendition that'll never come.
Lmao, fair. As someone who saw TLA in theaters opening day, if Borderlands means that much to you, you may be better off ignoring the movie even exists. Save yourself the heartache.