Fixed that one meme

I'm fairly certain Tor is better than a new laptop.

No shit Sherlock

I know at least one FAANG company that had (has? don't know) a policy of not using any hardware that was ever used in travel to China. If you had to go there on a business trip, you got a loaner laptop (and got your account severely restricted) and when you got back they wiped and discarded the laptop.
- Tech, military, politics, banking, a lot of industry and business sectors treat China like that. That cuntry is a fucking black hole for anything regarding security, privacy or fucking freedom. You have to take precautions like that. If you don't you're an idiot.
Because it wouldn't really help anything if you still use the same internet connection.
- That's why I always buy a plane ticket to another country before I browse. You think I'm using a VPN? That's cute.
Cause environment. Multiple the waste of burner phones (which are also terrible if you only use them for a few calls) also the burner laptop wouldn't cost much less than a shitty Chromebook, possibly the same thing.

Stolen laptop + tails + stolen car + McDonald's wifi

Way ahead of you!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IP_over_Avian_Carriers
Unwanted encryption is a really big issue with pidgeon carrier transportation though

I am not quite sure buying a new laptop is better than Tor, unless you have a way to buy the laptops anonymously with cash and not being seen by any cameras. Then you would still need to connect to a different network every time.

You can wear those anti-face-detection glasses every time you buy a laptop with cash.
- You mean these sick Raving glasses? Hell yeah.

Fun tip for anyone in a country with blacklisted torrent sites- TOR browser plows right through it. You can open up TOR and go straight to thepiratebay.org.

Straight to it...after a 30 second delay. Tor is great. It's just far too slow for general browsing

Needs another layer for VPN chaining after driving 1 hour away to use public WiFi so they never know where you truly are.

... only for you to google: "burger restaurant near
Surely you'd be able to triangulate the VPN connections based on the 1 hour drive.
Better to just become a nomad.

In a cat and mice game the mice will always be the one tot lose. You know who wouldn't lose to a cat? A pack of dogs. Be a pack of dogs. I'm gonna stop here before I say something very illegal bye.

Let's kill the capitalists, yes, you're right
Ok, I'm a pack of dogs. Now what?

Tails is basically the bottom one anyways.

Pi-Hole is a really thing but I don’t think my tech skills are quite up to scratch. Plus I think the wife would get ratty if it stopped working while I was out.

You can set one up your network and just point your DNS request at it on a device-by-device basis. So your wife would only use it if she wanted to.
- Oh cool. That could be a good solution! Thanks!
If you run it bare metal (not in a dockercontainers for example) it's quite easy to set it up on a raspberry pi or other hardware. The wife would even know it's existence if you don't tell her and use a standard config in the blocklists ..give it a try ..you're gonna love it
- Ad links from emails won’t work anymore. And the “top results” in Google won’t work.
  The wife would complain.
Pi-hole is pretty robust and not super hard to set up. You can run pi-hole on relatively cheap hardware, such as a Raspberry Pi 3B. I’m a big fan of Libre Computing’s “le-potato” board for running pi-hole; it’s a cheap raspberry pi clone. You’ll need some basic Linux skills but if you can follow step by step directions you’ll be fine. If you use a raspberry pi or similar hardware you’ll also need a micro SD card reader during the set up process.
- They even have a Linux distro just for running stuff like that on the Pi, it's called Dietpi and it's pretty bulletproof.
- Oh interesting! I’d never heard of le-potato. I’ll check that out, thanks!

VPN, block cookies, noscript, never sign into any user account.

Can you say more about never signing into a user account? I'm not sure I'm making the connection here.
- Sorry I should have mentioned an "online account".
  I have read many stories of people getting into trouble because they thought a VPN would protect their identity, and got caught because they signed into their online account which would be easily traceable.
- With the VPN it stops websites from knowing who you are. They don't have an email, name, or real IP to track.
You say that from your signed in account
- I am not SpongeBob.

What's pihole?

It's a self hosted DNS that you can easily run on a raspberry pi
is lmgtf really neccessary?
- I'm not sure I'd want to Google pihole, either. If I didn't know what it was.