Anon bakes some cookies

Bake a dozen cookies
Sit down and eat a couple by myself alone in my home
Hell yea these cookies are delicious
Happy for the rest of the day
- That's assuming they're delicious, if I'd baked then I'd also be crying.
  
  Baking is a lot more straightforward then cooking in my experience. Follow the recipe exactly and you're good. Its when folks are like, "Oh I'm out of butter I'll just use margarine it'll be fine" that shit gets fucky. Cooking though? You can do a lot on vibes there and be fine.
- count calories
  cry
  
  Or decide that these cookies will now suffice for today's caloric intake
  
  He doesn't have a girlfriend because he doesn't count calories yet insists his hypothetical gf must.

I've just had a brilliant idea for a recipe site.
ASMR (or even alternative reality?) active participation cooking instructions. You could be cooking with Julia Chiles or Emrila in your kitchen... Or your grandma

real

I missed the word "pretend" and got really confused at first.

I need the herb you are smoking.
- It's called overwhelming depression. You don't want it.

Lol girlfriend ASMR. That’s more pathetic than just hiring a sex worker for a girlfriend experience. While this is most likely fake and gay, guys like this exist. They seem to not understand that you can’t go from zero social contact with women for decades to having a girlfriend instantly.
- Support your brothers instead of tearing them down. Let them know that their worth is more than how many women they attract.
  
  Nah, support your local institutions so that people don't need to sell their bodies to make a living.
- I googled girlfriend asmr and honestly it’s pretty cringe, the primal part of me really does wanna bully this dude. But I set that part aside because I try not to be an asshole for no reason, as it does not benefit anyone including myself. Even if we reflexively think these thoughts due to society and upbringing, we don’t have to give into them, much less spend real time introducing more negativity into the world by voicing them.
  I grew up in Texas with very traditional masculine bs. Some part of me would read what I just said and think “what a pussy”. But I promise you I’m much happier now that I’ve learned to set the negativity aside, and I like to think I make fewer people feel bad regularly. There is no downside to this because, well, there’s no real benefit to shitting on people who aren’t hurting anybody.
  
  Forgive me for prying, but Im real curious about this "primal" part of your brain. Might be being autistic, or a woman, or both, but I've never experienced anything even analogous
- You know what's even more pathetic? Bashing people for being lonely
- I dated a camgirl for a while, (insert “itS not DatIng if yoU’Re pAyiNg Her” joke here,) and she always said some of her saddest regulars were the ones who clearly just wanted a pretty girl to pay attention to them for 15 minutes. She always joked that she was cheaper than therapy, because probably a quarter of her regulars were dudes who just didn’t know how to talk to women, and had resorted to paying one to talk to them for a while.
  She didn’t mind carrying the conversation because she was sociable, but it did end up leaving her feeling pretty depressed after a while. It’s one of the biggest reasons she ended up leaving the industry. There were some that didn’t even necessarily want her to undress, because it broke the “this is just a fun casual conversation with a pretty girl, and totally happened naturally like a meet-cute” illusion for them. Because having her undress would just remind them that she’s a paid worker who is only talking to them because she’s on the clock.
- I wish you a very pleasant plunge in mental health so you can maybe learn some empathy =D
- It seems to be the actions of a heterosexual so I'm not sure what you think is 'gay' about it. Can you explain?
  
  "fake and gay" is a common response on 4chan to greentexts.
  
  Buddy you lost?