Why don't you?

Okay, if you think that's a good idea

A belly has developed

Because body positivity doesn't exist for men.

Is Reno 911 the more recent example of this?

High fructose corn syrup.

It's not gay enough anymore.

Because I'm currently dressed like a skateboarder from the 90's and it's so very comfortable.

I'm not really looking to attract other men at this time

A beer belly

Shame, mostly shame.

A lack of 80s beach babes who would enjoy this kind out outfit

Mostly homophobia I would guess.

My gross body

My dad bod. I used to wear short shorts and didn't care if my shirt rode up

Because I did that in the 80s, so now I don't, to protect the public from trauma.

Women what’s stopping you from dressing like 80s horror movie hotties?

Cause I'd look like a mustard tiger selling greasy cheeseburgers

Survivorship bias…

Because it looks dumb af and always did?

Just like the hairstyles everyone had in the 80's. There's a reason no one really dresses like that and it's because generally everyone realized how dumb it really was.

A sense of dignity.

I'm turning 30 in January, and I'm quite self concious of my belly :(

It’s still summer, so I’m rocking my 70’s coke dealer vibe, and don’t want to put away the floral shirts just yet.

The cut-off athletic wear look is definitely a late summer/early autumn. If I can find appropriately skimpy shorts and cut offs, I’ll be all about it.

There needs to be a “Modern Himbo” store so finding clothes like these isn’t such a chore.

I went to a 70's themed costume party once and wore short jean shorts like that. Let's just say they only work when you wear tighty whiteys not boxers

I'll spare the public from having to see my hairy gut and cheeks

Belly too fat for the cut off shirt; ass not fat enough for the cut off shorts.

Social contracts about decency.

Have you seen those movies and what happens to the guys dressed like that?

Try again, Freddy / Jason / Michael / motherfucker

I'm a twink not a hunk

Because people don't look like they did in the 80's anymore.

Are you ok, comments? Check your body dysphoria, if you can, that isn't healthy.

because straight men are terrified of appearing gay.

Too many scars.

Edit:

2 down votes.

I have real scars, I am embarrassed greatly by how they make me look, even though I could otherwise pull off this look as I am in decent shape.

Guess body shaming is still cool to do to guys.

Pockets. I like pockets.

Someone's never been to a rugby game...

It's like prime Larry Byrd era NBA short shorts.

Joke's on you, kids do this now and have short longs

You are. I wouldn't want to make you have to look at that.

The exposed hernia belt isn't sexy.

Body shaming, mostly.

good taste, better judgment, dignity

Abs I guess

Who says I don't?

Nobody should dress like that. Ever.

Heterosexuality.

who says i don't?

The weather

Styles have changed. That looks silly now

good taste.

The ones that have the body for it don't want the attention, and the ones that want the attention don't have the body for it.

Ozempic prices

Bouncers would make you change