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"I know that social cues are hard for you and you are trying your best and I can't expect you to get it right on the first try, but I will shame you when you do and react like you didn't even try or did it on purpose."
"And I would never bully someone for being autistic"
"or react like you didnt even try"
tbh, they are often in the same boat with autistic people. normies are allowed to be offended and not be able to make the connection to autism.
they should practice kindness but so should the rest of us.
Thanks for pointing that out. I wanted to edit in something like that, but it felt like rambling.
It's frustrating when people react badly to what they incorrectly percieve as hostility, but it's not on them to read my mind and know the full context.
It's extra frustrating when people know but still get insulted by what they on an intellectual level know isn't an insult. It's human nature and it takes practice to manage that.
All in all, people may even both know and be patient but still find my behavior exhausting. And it's unfair to expect them to bend around me.
This is why I'm annoyed when people protest at any mention of "masking" as if it's evil. It's not. It's just basic courtesy to not confuse or upset people. Just be aware of how much you can do it healthily is all.
What invites me to be resentful is the fact I spend all day every day doing theater to keep these mopes comfortable, and asking the slightest deviation in their behavior is seen as such a huge deal.
I wear a mask all day every day. I constantly push myself to behave in ways unnatural to me, to fit in.
It’s so exhausting. All human interaction is like typing with chopsticks for me.
“I’m actually really strange”
“You don’t seem strange”
“Well I am, and I’m asking for your understanding with this”
“What is there to understand? You seem like a normal guy to me!”
“This is our first day meeting one another”
"Your son doesn't look autistic."
"My apologies. Luke! Do an autism for the lady, please."
[struggling with the inauthenticity of being authentically autistic which equals shutting down my NT mask which means writing new code to turn off the NT mask which I never do so what I’m doing is two layers of fakeness not zero]
“I am autistic”
“Well you seem perfectly normal to me, young man”